Living

Ari Post • May 9, 2013

Virginia is Horse Country. Plain and simple. Equestrian culture is the lifeblood of the Middleburg and Loudoun County areas, where traditions of hunting, breeding and racing date back to the Revolution. Just as entertainment is the industry and culture of Hollywood, so it goes for horses and the Piedmont. Just walking through Middleburg, there is no mistaking the town’s deep-rooted affection for all things equine, as storefronts like the Red Fox Inn, Journeymen Saddlers, Middleburg Tack Exchange and the National Sporting Library and Museum line its main street.

The surrounding area is home to the longest standing equestrian traditions in the country, from annual sporting events to hunt clubs and breeding. For more than 150 years, horse enthusiasts from across the world gather in Upperville for the Upperville Colt and Horse Show, the oldest of its kind in the country, and one that has broken a lot of ground in its lifetime. Founded in 1840, the Piedmont Foxhounds in Virginia was the first foxhunting club in the United States. There even are records indicating that while the earliest politicians were settling matters of our government’s foundation, they once interrupted their proceedings to mount their horses and join the chase when a hunt coursed through.

Of course, there is the world famous Gold Cup steeplechase race at Great Meadows in The Plains, which just took place on May 4 to a crowd of some 50,000 attendants. The competition’s six hurdle and timber horse races as well as its Jack Russell Terrier races are anticipated equestrian events worldwide (they are well known testing grounds for future Olympic champions), and draw countless vendors, tents and tailgaters.

KESWICK HORSE SHOW

May 14 – 19

Around Charlottesville, south of Middleburg and Upperville, The 109th Annual Keswick Horse Show will be held again at the historic Keswick showgrounds from Tuesday, May 14 through 19, 2013. The events this year include the Eastminster Dog Show on Wednesday night, May 15, and the “Getting Centered” dinner and silent auction to benefit the Senior Center of Charlottesville on Thursday. The weekend starts with the USHJA National Hunter Derby followed by dinner under the tent Friday night.

Saturday is always a special gathering for the entire community as the Jumper Classic is a beautiful evening that has become a Keswick tradition. Finally, Sunday’s Down Home Fish Fry on the porch will be a relaxing conclusion to a wonderful week. www.KeswickHuntClub.com

54TH ANNUAL HUNT COUNTRY STABLE TOUR

MAY 25 – 26

Trinity Episcopal Church will host its 54th Annual Hunt Country Stable Tour in and around Upperville on Memorial Day weekend, May 25 and 26. A self-guided, countywide tour of all things equestrian, farms, stables and training tracks throughout the county will open their doors for visitors to offer a rare glimpse into the life and industry of the world or horses. The Country Fair at Trinity Church, on the grounds of the church, will also feature horse-themed arts & crafts in conjunction with the event, serving ice cream, treats for dogs and cats and more.

“The Stable Tour is a unique opportunity for the farmers to finally get their barns painted and show them off and teach people about what goes on at each farm,” says Betsy Crenshaw, of Trinity Episcopal Church. “And visitors are not otherwise allowed on these farms—these are privately owned farms and businesses. But this weekend, guests can enjoy these beautiful facilities, pet horses and feed them carrots, and enjoy this beautiful exchange. It’s also a day in the country—a chance to ride on some dirt roads, get your car good and dirty, and see what makes our area tick—which is the horse.”

Among the tour highlights is the Middleburg Training Track, an early-bird special for true horse lovers. This stop is an opportunity to stand rail-side and see Thoroughbreds condition and train. “This is where horses all around Virginia are trained to be race horses,” says Crenshaw. “If they are born here, they learn to be racehorses here.”

Horses are sent here as yearlings to be broken and begin their preliminary training before proceeding onto national and international tracks. Horses are conditioned year-round and ship out on race day from the track to compete. Built in 1956 by Paul Mellon, the facility features a 7/8-mile track with a four-stall starting gate, eleven barns, a tack room, bunk rooms and a veterinarian’s office. The demonstration is Saturday morning only from 7 a.m. to 10 a.m. So, don’t be late.

On Saturday, May 25, The Piedmont Coaching Club will provide a demonstration, and on Sunday there will be an exhibit of traditional hunting attire. www.TrinityUpperville.org

UPPERVILLE COLT AND HORSE SHOW

JUNE 3 – 9

The Upperville Colt and Horse Show is the nation’s oldest horse show, dating back to 1853. Previous to the initiation of this national event, horses and stallions had been exhibited for prizes at country and state fairs, but it is widely accepted that the proper horse show we know today was introduced on the American sporting scene at Upperville. From the first year, there were so many entries and interest was so keen that a sponsoring club was immediately formed, and at the turn of the century, Upperville expanded its mission to become a five-day exhibition with a wide entry list of the finest equestrian talent in the world.

Featuring Hunting, Jumping and Breeding categories, our country’s oldest horse show features rider events from children’s competitions to Olympic and World Cup riders and horses. The event’s beautiful, grassy showgrounds, nestled in Loudoun’s rolling foothills, offers visi- tors a packed schedule of daily events steeped in the equestrian tradition, and involves over two thousand horse and rider combinations.

Around the world, horses are bred to jump, and at Upperville, many breeds are represented in the jumper competitions. The European horses, which are generally larger and heavier than most American breeds, are bred both in Europe and the United States specially to be used as sport horses, or riding horses. Grand prix level horses are the most talented jumpers in the show world a successful grand prix horse often has a price tag of $500,000 or more. Young prospects are usually broken to ride at two or three years of age and after training and experience over fences, make it to the jumper show rings. A horse could make it to the grand prix ring at the relatively early age of six or seven years, and continue to compete through its late teens.

The goal of many riders is of course to compete as a member of the United States Equestrian Team and ultimately the Olympics and there is no better place to test the waters than the Upperville Colt and Horse Show. www.Upperville.com

FRIDAY NIGHT POLO AT EDEN GLEN

Eden Glen is a small community just outside of Middleburg, known for its longstanding adoration of all things equestrian. Founded in 1787, the community is the year round center for fox hunting, steeplechase racing and polo on the East Coast. Surrounding the park is nothing but grazing land for horses, woods and rivers there is nothing to hear but the sweet songs of nature. A mile and a half from Eden Glen is one of the best riding facilities in the area, Fox Chase. This is the place to go for all riders, with events for children and adults of all ages, where guests are also welcome to board horses. Their most popular event by far is Friday night polo at Great Meadows, which gives spectators an opportunity to see the sport like never before.

Georgetowner •

**DEAR STACY:**

*My husband and I are at odds on how to talk to our 5-year-old son about my brother, who died when I was 12. I think he is too young to hear about death. We have another 2-year- old son and I am really worried our 5-year-old will start to wonder if his brother will die. My husband is very religious and is not willing to lie to our children for any reason. We are about to spend a vacation with my family who always say a prayer for my brother at dinner. My sib- lings love to talk about my brother, and usually I do too. I don?t want to fight with my husband. I am considering not going, but that can?t be a long term solution. Help!*

?Honesty the best policy?

**DEAR HONESTY,**

You?re right ? not going is not a great solution for this problem. But I fully empathize with your flight-so-as-not-to-fight response. Who wants to argue with Husband, especially when he holds the moral authority?

My personal opinion is that ?Thou Shalt Not Lie? is absolutely not a mandate for full disclosure to a preschooler. Is Husband explaining the Boston bombings in specific, political terms? Are graphic photos being used to answer the question of ?Where do babies come from?? What about his annual take-home pay, is #1 Son aware of that number? We have to be mindful of the age group we are working with and adjust our language accordingly.

My advice is that you go about your vacation and answer #1 Son?s question as matter- of-factly as possible (e.g. ?We say a prayer for Brian because he died a long time ago and we still love and remember him.?). You follow up with the point that you are available and open to talking to him about this whenever he wants to or needs to. Don?t be overly emotional or dramatic ? he will mirror your response ? and don?t put words in his mouth (a la ?Don?t worry, Little Brother is very healthy and is unlikely to die young??). Reassurance and unconditional love are all he needs from you.

Now to the real meat of your question ? the way that Husband used the giant ?religious/ moral values? trump card to halt a healthy debate about parenting. This has happened before, right? Unless you create a map for dealing with such disputes, you are going to be cowed and minimized for the foreseeable future. Calm, connected, and balanced conversation about this is the only way to craft a game plan for your individual family. Get started by taking a meeting with the clergy member of Husband?s choice ? I think you might be surprised at the discussion that develops.

Wally Greeves • April 25, 2013

The clicketty-clack of ?rubber tires hitting? highway cement ?separations is the only thing ?that I was really thinking? about when, after hurtling ?through a couple of still-?confusing, identical looking roadway roundabouts, ?the charming and mystical ?town of Pinehurst, North ?Carolina, appeared from? the clouds out of nowhere.?“Field of Dreams,” “Bagger ?Vance,” and the two golfers? (I mean hunters) that found ?Brigadoon came to mind. Far away-sounding French horns tapered off as we drove into the charming golf village that is busy readying itself for back-to-back men and women U.S. Opens in 2014. Non-chain bookshops, clothing boutiques and eateries line the streets of the small village business district, surrounded by stunning Carolina homes that busy local realtors rent for as much as $75,000 a week during the Open. On our visit, the Holly was our resort home away from home.
Christened in 1895, with dark oak passages and suck-you-in cute creaky hallways that cause women to grab you by the arm, the Holly was consummate in its décor down to its two restaurants that offer collar-only steak at night and mouth-melting banana strawberry smoothies in early a.m. pre-golf or spa attire.

Boasting nine golf courses, the Donald Ross designed Pinehurst #2 is, by far, the most infamous and will host the Open in 2014. Teeing off at 8:40a.m. in 39-degree rain weather may make it hard for me to recognize the audience-flocked fairways come Open time, but I will know that’s where they are by watching the momentarily grief-stricken amazed looks on the faces of pro-golfers as they watch their balls roll off perfectly groomed, innocent-looking, turtle-backed greens. Showering after my humbling round, the thought occurred to me that I had more of a chance of standing at the back of the tub and successfully tossing a wet bar of soap onto the elevated bathtub corner than I did of hitting any kind of iron shot that the #2 greens would hold. Fortunate to play my round with a member of the 106-year-old, Pinehurst-based golfing fraternity, the Tin Whistles (think well-dressed, philanthropic Hell’s Angels of golf), I was treated to warm and funny stories in the history-laden clubhouse, complete with walls sporting action pictures of every who’s-who and who has been in the game of golf.

Creamy crab and sweet corn bisque with lightly toasted fritters floating in it, and the cheerful one-liner-offering staff at the resort’s anchor facility, Carolina Dining Room, helped me feel better about the damage #2 did to my permanent record and my golf-battered ego. Bellboys, shuttle drivers, caddies and other good time co- conspirators can play Pinehurst courses at their leisure with few restrictions, which says a lot to me about a golf resort. It serves as a reminder to me that whatever multi-starred and architecturally crisp resort you may wander into, it will be the people that dictate carefree afternoon naps or the cause of unsettling heartburn.

Encouraged by the staff at the clubhouse the next morning and heartily welcomed by the threesome and caddie I was paired with, my wife rode with us as we teed off at 8:27 a.m. on Pinehurst #4. The threesome we were golfing with was at Pinehurst celebrating one brother’s victorious bout with leukemia from the other brother’s marrow donation, and the son’s recovery from a double hip operation. This inspirational dynamic, our scratch-shooting caddie Bradley’s witty repartee, my wife’s presence and the sunny day all made up for the amount of time I spent in the course’s legendary Fazio-created 180 sand traps. This winter was a long one in Pinehurst, and I just missed seeing the blooming azaleas and dogwoods that #4 usually boasts at this time of year. Nevertheless, the appealing monochromatic-magic created by pine needle boughs every- where satiated my aesthetic appetite and made it easier to find wayward tee shots.

Manufacturing empathy and sensitivity for the non- golfer are wasted efforts at Pinehurst because of the number of other activities avail- able to engage in as well as the interesting historical nature of the resort. My wife is still showing off a pedicure she received from a choice of more than 50 treatments at the spa, and there are sinful amounts of money-spending opportunities that include clothes, tennis, food, real estate, antiques, alcohol, pottery and any item you ever thought of with the putter boy logo spawned the weekend long laughable request for “more putter butter, please.” Just the fact that you find yourself requesting extra butter is relaxation recognition. The front porch of the Carolina in the early evening is a loafer wearing, cigar-smoking, pre-dinner drink eruption of laughter experience dotted with expert bag pipe tunes, proffered by kilt-wearing musicians. In the early 1900s, Annie Oakley lived at Pinehurst for almost 10 years, gave shooting exhibitions at the Carolina and taught shooting to more than 125,000 persons. The Town of Southern Pines is five miles away, has a railroad track right through the middle of it, quaint cafes, antiques stores, many latte places, and little benches in the middle of town with non-stressed-looking people sitting at them and smiling at each other’s stories.

Pinehurst #8 is a full seven minutes away from the main clubhouse by pleasant shuttle and lays out where the Pinehurst Gun Club once did. Even in all its regalia and splendor, with en- trance roads to Pinehurst nearby and abundant housing, the proximity of courses 1 through 5 can be overwhelming. Views of the adjacent fairways from the clubhouse showcase meticulously groomed areas of green expanse dot- ted with golfers swinging their clubs like bees beating their wings, expeditiously being herded toward green pollination by white-uniformed “bee-keeping” caddies. I had the first tee time of the day at #8 on Sunday, and I enjoyed all 420 acres of it. Paired up with the resort requisite cigar smoking, beer drinking, long-ball hitting, loud Texan and his equally enjoyable Coloradan brother-in-law, we made shots that would have made Annie Oakley proud. The Natural wet- lands combined with rolling hills through expansive pines and positively alone feel to this tract made it the favorite for me of the three courses I played in my weekend at Pinehurst.

Thanks to a certain colonel and his wife hailing from Pinehurst #7, we had a genuine Carolina barbecue open house to stop by after showering and checking out of the Holly. What a pleasurable way to end a great trip. I overheard the host say to my wife “Look at Wally, he is perfectly happy and doesn’t want to leave,” and at that moment he was right. I was truly lost in too much of a good thing.

For more information, visit Pinehurst.com. Pinehurst Resort, 80 Carolina Vista Drive, Pinehurst, N.C. 28374 — (855)-235-8507

Wandergolf will be a frequently appearing golf column in The Georgetowner that will be reporting on the golf interests of Washingtonians. If you have suggestions for columns or comments please email them to wally@wandergolf.com
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Georgetowner • April 24, 2013

**DEAR STACY:**
*Both my husband?s family and my own live in different states than we do. My family comes to visit us quite a few times throughout the year, which is wonderful. My husband?s family never comes to visit us. It seems to bother me more than him! I find it hard to believe his parents, especially his mother who has no other kids, never come and visit us. If not for us, then for our two small children, who barely know their own grandparents. I can?t fathom that they won?tcomeseeus?Iwouldbesohurtifmy family treated us that way! There?s no finan- cial or physical reason for them not to travel, and they?re very warm and friendly if we go see them. There?s no sort of family animosity. Should I be so bothered by the fact that they won?t make time for my husband or his family? Should I encourage my husband to confront them about it?
??Feeling Exiled*

**DEAR EXILED,**
I totally get this.
I know how hard it is to live far from family and feeling like we may only to see them (and, let?s be honest, enjoy their on-site support when raising kids) when we make the fairly compli- cated effort to export our family unit to theirs. Knowing the clich? that grandkids supposedly are catnip for grandparents, it is surprising that these grandparents don?t travel to see their own, especially since you know of no financial or physical reason preventing them from making the trip.
But the truth is, we just don?t have enough data. We don?t know why they won?t travel ? in fact, we don?t actually know that they won?t, just that they haven?t, so far. When we don?t have the facts, human brains tend to make up their own stories and then those stories take on a life of their own (e.g. They think we have a dirty house; they don?t like the food we prepare; they just don?t like us).
Unless I?m missing something, this prob- ably doesn?t need to be a confrontation at all ? although I?m sure it might feel like a charged topic on your end because you just haven?t been talking about it openly for so long. Help Husband take a deep breath and then launch a calm Q&A with Grandma or Grandpa about whether they?d like to come visit ?this sum- mer,? followed by the kind sentiment of, ?We?d really love to see you.? If they deflect or make an excuse, there is nothing wrong with asking about it. The end result you want is that they feel like they can be close to you ? that usually starts when people feel safe and comfortable communicating on that deeper level. Good luck!

*Stacy Notaras Murphy (www.stacymurphyLPC. com) is a licensed professional counselor and cer- tified Imago Relationship therapist, practicing in Georgetown. This column is meant for entertain- ment only and should not be considered a substitute for professional counseling. Send your confidential question to [stacy@georgetowner.com](mailto:stacy@georgetowner.com).*

Georgetowner • April 10, 2013

**DEAR STACY:**
*My wife and I are expecting our second child this summer. I work full time (usually a 12-hour day) and she works from home part- time and also takes care of our five-year-old daughter. This arrangement has worked pretty well so far, but I?m starting to realize that I never have any downtime. I take our daughter to school every morning and as soon as I walk through the door at night, my wife hands her off to me and basically disappears. I realize that she has a lot on her plate and I don?t pretend I have more to deal with than she does, balancing her job requirements and dealing with school volunteer and so on. At the same time, I haven?t had a moment to myself in the last six months ? not to work out, not to meet up with friends, nothing. Even on the weekends, I am always in charge of our daughter because my wife uses that time to catch up on work that?s piled up from the week, or we are having ? family time? with all of us together. It?s very hard to talk about this without her getting defensive, and I know how whiny I sound, but I?m really scared about what it?s going to look like when we bring home a new baby.
?Drowning Already*

**DEAR DROWNING,**
I?m never completely sure, but I do think I can hear the strain in your written voice, as you work very hard not to sound like a stereotypical Pouty Guy who just wants his alone time. Let me assure you at the outset, you are not in the wrong here. Not even one little bit.
This situation is horribly unbalanced and that?s only going to get worse when New Baby shows up. Wife probably does need that time with the door closed each night. She sounds completely overwhelmed. That can?t mean you take up all the slack every single day. You both need to carve out some time for exercise (physical, emotional, and spiritual), not to mention finding some time to spend together.
I can imagine that her defensiveness has been a good reason to avoid this topic. But please recognize that dodging an important conversation like this only breeds resentment, a.k.a. the most corrosive relationship-killing bacteria around. We all get defensive when we feel we?re being attacked. So keep things calm with a little validation of her position. Follow up with ?I-Statements? like ?I am feeling overwhelmed,? and ?I am hopeful there is a way for both of us to get to feel more rested and fulfilled.? You can always call a professional to help guide this conversation, but holding it inside is not doing you (or Wife or Daughter or New Baby) any favors.?

*Stacy Notaras Murphy (www.stacymurphyLPC. com) is a licensed professional counselor and certified Imago Relationship therapist, practicing in Georgetown. This column is meant for entertainment only and should not be considered a substitute for professional counseling. Send your confidential question to stacy@georgetowner.com.*

Sara Gilgore • March 28, 2013

We have all heard about the Eastern Shore. Area natives, especially, know it as a conglomeration of vacation destinations along the eastern side of the Chesapeake Bay. Tourist spots. Fishing villages. Colonial towns. Communities that thrive in the summer months but are deserted for the rest of the year. While there might be truth to some of these notions, there is infinitely more to say about the diverse areas of Maryland and Virginia that constitute this collective waterfront region.

The Eastern Shore is composed of distinct locales, which house residents and host visitors with their inimitable personalities. They are undoubtedly recognized for their summer appeal but should not be completely discounted leading up to the heat. Many of these towns are celebrated for their historical significance, tranquil quality and distinguishing identity – you should consider exploring some of them in the coming months.

Featured towns: Eastern Shore, Md.

CHESTERTOWN, KENT COUNTY, MD.
This colonial town on the Chester River entices travelers to experience its historic homes, shops, arts scene and restaurants. As part of Kent County, it is surrounded by the Chesapeake Bay’s estuaries and farmland, and holds annual events and holiday functions throughout the year.
Chestertown is also home base to the Schooner Sultana, “a replica of a Boston-built merchant vessel that served four years as the smallest schooner ever in the British Royal Navy,” according to its website. The ship is known as the “Schoolship of the Chesapeake,” as it offers educational programming through sailing tours.
The Chestertown website offers additional suggestions for visitors, including self-guided tours, museums, theaters, scenic views and recreational activities. There are more than 40 lodging options in the vicinity, though it is known for its bed and breakfasts. www.chestertown.com.

ST. MICHAELS, TALBOT COUNTY, MD.
You are likely familiar with St. Michaels, as its Bay presence has become less subtle over time, and it is now better known for its tourist draw. Its marina and boating opportunities contribute to its charm, but St. Michaels is equally beloved for its memorable attractions, dining, spas and special events.
The Chesapeake Bay Maritime Museum, the St. Michaels Winery, War of 1812 reenactments, the St. Michaels Fresh Farm Market, various cruise lines and fresh seafood meals are among the services that continue to bring visitors to the area. Vacation rentals and quaint hotels provide an array of lodging alternatives, and the website’s suggested itineraries aid with planning the ideal vacation. www.stmichaelsmd.org.

EASTON, TALBOT COUNTY, MD.
This seaside village invites people to discover its character year-round. In addition to crabbing, sailing, kayaking and canoeing, Easton is a relaxing town with outlets for exploration and enjoyment – despite the weather. Its buildings represent a fusion of Colonial and Victorian architecture, and the town is renowned for its displayed appreciation of art and music. The Avalon Theatre presents comedy, art shows, theatrical performances and assorted concerts that make it a staple venue for both vacationers and locals.
Antiquing in downtown Easton, stargazing in the countryside and watching wildlife are just some of the many activities highlighted on the website. Other components of a visit might involve walking tours, community coffee shops, public golf courses, annual festivals and Victorian bed and breakfasts. An events calendar, which consistently outlines a plethora of activities for tourists, can be found on the website. www.eastonmd.org

CAMBRIDGE, DORCHESTER COUNTY, MD.
Situated on the Choptank River is Cambridge: it was settled in 1684, and is now one of the Eastern Shore’s prime destinations. The historic downtown, centered around Cambridge’s Main Street, is more than “beautiful buildings” and “one-of-a-kind shops,” as the downtown touts itself. Rather, it has a powerful presence that stems from its rich history and is apparent to any visitor.
Quirky celebrations add another dimension to the pulse: “Zip Code Day,” “Taste of Cambridge Crab Cook-Off” and “Summer Send-Off: Blues, Brews & BBQ,” to name a few.
Cambridge is home to several noteworthy attractions – the Brannock Maritime Museum, the Richardson Maritime Museum and La Grange Plantation – and other galleries, boutiques and art districts. Great Marsh Park, Sailwinds Park and the Choptank River Fishing Pier are other area favorites. www.choosecambridge.com.

Featured Towns: Eastern Shore, Va.

ACCOMAC, ACCOMACK COUNTY, VA.
As the County Seat of Accomack County, this small but significant town attracts people with its history and charm. It was originally established as the Town of Drummond in 1786 and, subsequently, Drummondtown. It did not receive its present name until 1893.
One of Accomac’s strongest tourist draws is perhaps its walking tour, during which people can gain understanding of the town’s evolution, through architectural changes in churches, cottages and houses. The Eastern Shore Public Library, Debtor’s Prison, Bloodworth Cottage and St. James Episcopal Church are among the notable points on the downtown tour. People live in the private residences, illustrating the community’s intimate nature and appreciation for historic preservation. www.co.accomack.va.us.

ONANCOCK, ACCOMACK COUNTY, VA.
Originally serving as a port town, Onancock aided transportation for steamboats between Baltimore, Md., and Norfolk, Va., with the Onancock Creek leading to the Bay. It is now one of the Eastern Shore’s more heavily populated towns, with more than 1,500 residents.
Onancock has substantial marine- and wild- life populations and water travel opportunities. Whether you bring your own boat, take a guided trip or just want to get a full taste of Onancock, the Town Wharf is a must-see. And, the Ferry to Tangier Island, a nearby fishing village, lets visitors venture beyond the town.
As a self-described “rural waterfront village,” Onancock’s visitor-friendly atmosphere and easily navigated downtown make it a desirable spot for tourists who enjoy biking and strolling. More information is listed on its website. www.onancock.com.

WACHAPREAGUE, ACCOMACK COUNTY, VA.
Wachapreague is an appropriately named seaside town – its website defines “Wachapreague” as “Little City by the Sea.” Bird watching and biking keep people coming throughout the year, as do the fishing and seafood.
The Hotel Wachapreague, the town’s first hotel and one of the largest on the Eastern Shore, was constructed in 1902 and remains open today. A marine railroad and commercial fishing are some of the many draws to this charming fishing community. (www.wachapreague.org)[http://www.wachapreague.org].

CAPE CHARLES, NORTHAMPTON COUNTY, VA.
Cape Charles has a history that dates back to the 1880s. Following its colonization, it was predominantly comprised of farmlands and wetlands, but as stated on its website, it developed into a railroad region when the Bay Coast Railroad was constructed. It is the largest town in Northampton County with 1,000 residents and under 3,000 acres of land.
The Historic District of Cape Charles displays a variety of architecture, including Colonial Revival, Neoclassical and Victorian style homes. Golf clubs, horseback riding stables, wildlife refuges, state parks – plus the water, beaches and fishing – make this town a great place to investigate. [www.capecharles.org](http://www.capecharles.org).
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Gwendolyn Shearman •

The days are getting longer. The weather will get warmer, and school will be out soon enough. It’s the time of year when parents are deciding how their child will spend their summer vacation. Instead of lounging around the house, take a look at some of the summer camps offered in the area. No matter what a child’s interest may be, from technology to theater, there is a camp for them. Be sure to sign up soon because sessions are filling up, some even offer discounts for early registration. Whether it’s a half-day or full day program, most camps are offering before and after care for an additional cost, check with specific camps for details.

Levine School Music and Art Day Camp
www.levineschool.org, (202) 686-8000
Where: Campuses in D.C. (2801 Upton St. NW), Strathmore in Bethesda, Md., and Arlington, Va.
When: Sessions from June 24-July 12 and July 15-August 2 with both half-day and full-day programs.
Rates: $1,170 full day tuition, $810 half-day tuition
This year’s theme for the popular summer program at Levine school of music is Water, Water Everywhere. Students, ages 3 1/2 to 12, will use the theme to actively learn music, dance, stories, games, and arts from various cultures, as well as get hands on exposure to classical instruments taught by Levine school faculty.

Georgetown University Summer Day Camp at Yates Field House
www.yates.georgetown.edu, (202) 687-2400
Where: Centered at Georgetown University at Yates Field House.
When: Six week long sessions, the first beginning June 24 and the last starting July 20
Rates: $280 for Yates members and $380 for nonmembers before May 1. Prices increase to $300 for members and $400 for nonmembers after May 1.
The comprehensive day-long camp, centered at Yates Field House and Kehoe Field, offers campers ages 6-10 activities including swimming at McCarthy Pool, team-based games, arts and crafts, talent shows and much more.

Sidwell Friends School Summer Camps
classic.sidwell.edu/summer, (202) 537-8133
Where: D.C. Campus (3825 Wisconsin Ave. NW) and Bethesda Campus.
When: Week and two week long sessions are offered in full-day and half day increments. Beginning June 10, with the last session beginning August 5.
Rates: Prices vary depending on camp.
Sidwell Friends School offers an array of camps for children ages 3 1/2 years old to 12th grade. Camps vary from academic enrichment, specific sports, cultural exploration, adventure camp, and workshop-based programs. Specialty camps include Lego engineering, handwork, and machine sewing camps. No matter a child’s interest, Sidwell Friends School has a program to meet every child’s needs.

Tudor Place Summer History Camp
www.tudorplace.org/camp.html, (202) 965-0400
Where: Tudor Place (1644 31st Street NW) and Dumbarton House (2715 Q Street NW)
When: Week-long sessions begin July 22, with the last session starting August 12.
Rates: $175 per session for members, $190 for non-members.
For the young ones, ages 4-10, Tudor Place offers a half day camp (9 a.m. – noon) that throws campers head on into the history of Tudor Place and Dumbarton House. Campers walk in the footsteps of past Georgetowners by going on scavenger hunts through the historic houses, explore crafts of the past, dress in period costumes, and conduct archaeological digs.

Camp Shakespeare
www.shakespearetheatre.org, (202) 547-5688
Where: STC Rehearsal Studio, 516 & 507 8th Street SE, camps also offered in Silver Spring, Md. and McLean, Va.
When: Two-week intensives June 17-August 10 and three week advanced camp July 1-July 20.
Rates: $725 for two-week intensive, $1,100 for three-week advanced camp.
A full day (10 a.m. – 5 p.m.) camp separated into three age groups, campers age 9-18 develop talents, build confidence, and deepen their understanding of the work of William Shakespeare. Students study classic acting techniques, stage combat, voice and movement techniques, and improvisation. Campers put on productions and performances on Saturday mornings.

Anna Banana Arts & Crafts
www.annabananaartsandcrafts.com,
(202) 248-0661
Where: Anna Banana Arts & Crafts studio, 3270 S Street, NW Washington, D.C. 20007
When: Monday – Friday 9 a.m. – 12:30 p.m.
Rates: $300 per week
Campers will explore the bounty of art and nature in the studio and on our daily excursion to lovely and close-by Montrose Park for a snack, en plein air painting and play time. In the studio, children age 4-8 will explore materials such as clay, paint, pastel and others. Medium include photography, sculpture, painting and print making. We will use the nature around us to inspire art and craft projects. Campers will enjoy the light-filled and relaxed studio atmosphere where we listen to music while creating masterpieces. Campers bring their own bag lunch and a snack.

Beauvoir Summer
summer.beauvoirschool.org,
Where: 3500 Woodley Road, NW Washinton, DC 20016 , 202-537-6485
When: 8:30 a.m. – 3 p.m. weekdays
Rates: Rates vary depending on age.
Beauvoir understands the role that play—specifically outdoor play—has in early childhood education, and just how important that role is. This year, the camp introduces, Beauvoir Outdoors, a unique outdoor play space with lots of educational value. While all of our camps will take advantage of the Beauvoir Outdoors as the wonderful play space it is, two camps were designed specifically to expose campers to the many challenges and opportunities that await them outside that door. These camps are Nature Navigators (for 4–6 year olds) and Outdoor Adventures (for 7–10 year olds). ? [gallery ids="101212,144974,144970" nav="thumbs"]

Georgetowner •

Dear Stacy:

I think I said something wrong and now my friend?s therapist is mad at me. Long story short, my friend is trying to get pregnant and has had her second IVF failure. I have three kids and we are trying for No. 4. Over lunch the other week I tried to explain that I completely understand her longing for that first baby, because I feel the same way in my longing for this one. Looking back, I think she kind of shut down the conversation at that point. Well, fast-forward to this week when I confront her about not returning my calls and texts, she tells me she is ?setting a boundary? because her therapist said she should. I don?t get this at all. Why would her therapist try to cut her off from her support system? What can I do to get back into her good graces?
?Wants to Fix It

Dear Fix It,
Give me a second while I get my gaping mouth to close.

Dear, dear, dear one. Her therapist is not ?mad? at you ? or at least, that?s not why she told Friend to set a boundary. The therapist may have advised Friend to set boundaries so that she is not triggered by people who suffer from tone deafness ? and my dear, that?s you.

I can imagine that you were completely genuine in your suggestion that one person wishing for a first child has much in common with another person wishing for a fourth. In fact, I am sure you meant it in the very best way possible, as a way of bonding the two of you together in this life experience, but you aren?t on the same page ? not by a longshot. Let?s both imagine Friend?s deep grief and utter shock that a mother-of-three might liken her circumstances to one actively struggling to become a mother-of-any. I do not mean to minimize your pain (not even in the slightest), this is just an apples to oranges situation ? strike that ? it?s an apples to a single, solitary orange situation.

Let?s shift this for a moment and focus on the very normal, yet often misguided way we humans often try to crowd into another person?s experience as a way of building intimacy. Sometimes, that backfires and people get deeply, devastatingly hurt. You can be a good friend without assuming you are both riding the same emotional roller coaster (in case I didn?t make my point before ? you are on two totally different roller coasters). My advice is simple ? learn from this misstep. Apologize from a safe distance on the other side of the boundary she has set (READ: via a phone call or voicemail), and then continue to respect the boundary. You can be a gentle, loving presence on the other side while you wait for her.

Stacy Notaras Murphy (www.stacymurphyLPC.com) is a licensed professional counselor and certified Imago Relationship therapist, practicing in Georgetown. This column is meant for entertainment only and should not be considered a substitute for professional counseling. Send your confidential question to stacy@georgetowner.com.

Ari Post • March 13, 2013

John Rhett moved from Houston, Texas, to Charlottesville, Va., in 1981. He had a double degree in architecture and fine arts from Rice University and, having worked in the world of corporate architecture, was searching for a back-to-basics approach to his life and work. Fate, however, was playing a larger role in his relocation to Charlottesville than he could ever have realized.

Rhett had already studied solar architecture in New Mexico in the 1970s, and had constructed some major projects with the surrounding Pueblo community. These projects combined elements of contemporary architectural innovation with ancient cultural building techniques, creating sustainable adobe structures that became a part of the land they were built upon. Shortly after moving to Charlottesville, Rhett started working for one of the city’s only modern architectural firms. Creating modern structures amidst Charlottesville’s lush forests and rolling, fertile landscapes, he found a synthesis between nature and structure that suited his contemporary architectural ideals and deep-rooted pursuits. It was here that Rhett saw a foundation for what would become his life’s work.

He began working for the renowned garden designer François Goffinet, who taught him a multidisciplinary approach of incorporating architecture into natural environments. “Goffinet would work with a team of architects, botanists, carpenters, and even historians of garden design,” says Rhett. “And his projects—parks, gardens, houses and corporate campuses—have such a harmony that resulted from this orchestration of disciplines. His spaces are like musical compositions of physical structures.”
Rhett began working on projects around the world, from Portugal, Oxfordshire, Bel Air and Carmel, to the San Juan Islands just north of Seattle. Each structure, he came to understand, was inextricably linked to its surrounding environment.

“It occurred to me,” he says, “that whether you are building adobe pueblos or Georgian mansions, the incorporation of the surrounding landscape and harmony with the character of the environment are core values that I had been unconsciously pursuing since day one.”

Meanwhile, Rhett had fallen in love with the character and environment of Charlottesville. “Between the history, the beauty, the innovation, and the shear lifestyle, there was something timeless about this place that drew me in and didn’t let me go. I think Thomas Jefferson got it right when he chose Charlottesville as the place to build his home at legacies.”

Jefferson became a strong influence on Rhett and his work, for Jefferson shared with him a fierce love for the land as well as notions on the historical responsibilities of architecture. Upon writing to the politician George Gilmer in 1787, Jefferson remarked: “I am as happy no where else and in no other society, and all my wishes end, where I hope my days will end, at Monticello.”

Rhett brings this philosophy into his work, designing and building country houses that are part of the land they are built upon, and drawing upon its surroundings to shape the gardens and parks he creates to suit them. “I’ve always loved natural surroundings. So, landscape design is a perfect and natural companion to the architecture.”

Building homes also allows Rhett to work with individuals to help others realize their dreams. Much of the satisfaction, he explains, comes from turning a shared vision into a reality. “I want to give my clients the tools to create the home they can only imagine, to take something from theory into reality. In the process, we both discover things. I had one client who at first did not have any confidence in her choices. And while we worked together, she had a real growth experience designing her house, and became rightfully confident in her own decisions. It turned out beautifully.”

Rhett Architects has been operating since 1995, and Rhett’s firm has managed more than 300 projects, focused primarily on residential and landscape work in the Piedmont region. “I design homes and landscapes,” says Rhett, “but I spent quite a while working in construction management, and I enjoy working with the entire project team, from contractors to clients, to bring projects to fruition.”

Among his more public works, Rhett has remodeled several areas inside University of Virginia’s School of Law, and restored Staunton, Va.’s oldest public schoolhouse.

As diverse and unique as his projects are, there is at least one common thread that strings Rhett’s work together. “I like to make places that are alive, that vibrate,” he says. “I use all the tools possible, from proportions, to color and light, to make any space I design the most balanced and beautiful it can be.”

A Conversation With John Rhett

From the genius of Thomas Jefferson and sustainable energy, to Finnish modernism and ranching in Jackson Hole, Wyo., the Georgetowner sat down with architect John Rhett to discuss his influences, inspirations, and what makes a house worth living in.

Georgetowner: How did you get into the field of landscape-influenced and countryside residential architecture?

John Rhett: I’ve always loved landscapes, and it became clear that this was a perfect area for me to be working in architecturally. A country house is part of a landscape, confluent with the surrounding gardens, vistas, and topography. Those are the ideas that interested me from the beginning. I was lucky enough to take a landscape architecture course with Carlisle Becker when I was at Rice University. He really emphasized looking at landscape from a critical point of view, which opened the doors to many concepts embodied in nature.

Architecture is one of those fields where you have to know a lot about a lot of different things, technically, philosophically, historically and artistically. It demands a lot, and I’ve always loved that. It seems natural that landscapes and environmental awareness play an equally integral part in the process. Nature is a good place for an architect to be.

GT: What is it like working with a client and bringing them into your design process?

JR: I always start with the client. That’s why I have so many different styles of projects in my portfolio. I don’t design the same house over and over again. I want to learn what the client wants and find the best thing for them. The process really begins with asking and listening.

When the client and I visit the property before the house is built, we are foremost looking for a site for the house. I like to think that there are different forces out there, and when you walk around a piece of property, you’ll find a special spot, like a tuning fork, and everything starts to syncronize. You find that on most properties there is a perfect spot. Sometimes it is a certain view it offers, but even something as simple and elegant as an old tree can influence where you put a house.

It’s often tied into where the clients come from—some family history about what they love in houses. Some people might want a glass house spanning across a river, others want one on top of a hill. So I balance it out with each property. It is a conversation with clients, the landscape, and ideas of architecture we all have, and it gets shifted around until it all feels right.
I want to work for clients to design their house. I don’t want them to come to me to get a house that they’ve seen somewhere else. I want someone interested in building their house in a particular place, and I’ll help them with it. When you take on a client, you’re really taking on a relationship. But that’s how the best houses get done. To make magic there has got to be a spark between all parties. I want to help people realize their own vision for their home.

GT: That must yield some unique results.

JR: Absolutely. I have one client who is renovating an old barn to be quite modern; it has all these beautiful horizontal lines, an open floor plan and beautiful materials. Another client is building a federal style home near the University of Virginia campus—very traditional, beautiful moldings—the proportion of the rooms is important to him. I’ve got it both ways, which is a wonderful thing. But what my clients all really appreciate is an attention to materials and the way that they are put together. Even with different styles of architecture, when things are done correctly and put together beautifully, that success.

GT: Do you seen any trends in what clients today looking for in country homes?

JR: I think that trends these days are toward a sustainable philosophy about how to live on the land. A lot of people are more interested in energy efficient, solar design, and connecting to a relaxed way of life. They want meadows and low maintenance, native plantings around them, which is really interesting.

GT: Charlottesville is a great place for this type of lifestyle.

JR: It’s the best. It is either a small city or a large town—it can’t seem to make up its mind, and it’s all the better for it. There have always been interesting people and interesting projects here. In Charlottesville, you can have this nice country life, surrounded by gardens and wildlife, and then go into town and see a show. The richness of the land is such a draw—Thomas Jefferson recognized it 200 years ago, when he described it as the Eden of America.

GT: Has Thomas Jefferson had an influence on you since you came to Charlottesville?

JR: Jefferson has had a huge influence on me. He believed that architecture embodies the whole of creation. When he was proportioning columns, he would take his calculations to the fourth decimal point, which says to me that he believed proportions are sacred—if it is off by one thousandth, then it is wrong. That sort of rigor of thought and belief in architecture sustains me, even when I’m sitting there working with a developer to maximize his parking spaces.
If you think about Monticello, his estate here in Charlottesville, on one side is a man-made garden, and on the other side is a house that thrusts out into a landscape of raw nature. Jefferson made art out of the ordinary. Somebody thinking along those lines is a kindred spirit.

GT: Who else has influenced your architectural work?

JR: The list is long. Alvar Aalto was a Finnish modernist who created a modern architecture that connects to nature. Frank Lloyd Wright, I loved his attitude towards the land, how architecture needs to build out of it. He had a great sense of proportion that I often turn back to. But the real reason I got into architecture was my uncle, who was a building designer in Jackson Hole, Wyo., when I was growing up. I thought, Wow! I’ll become an architect and live on a ranch in Jackson Hole!
It didn’t quite work out that way, but I’m not complaining.
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Georgetowner • March 12, 2013

*Dear Stacy:*
*I am really worried about my younger sister. She seems to move from relationship to relationship (more specifically, from guy to guy), with no end in sight. She once told me that she thought settling down like our parents would be a ?death sentence.? But now, she?s about to turn 30. All of her friends are getting married and she says it?s getting lonely and that she?s depressed. But yet she takes no real steps toward being partnered in any way. What can I do to convince her that finding a partner is not like serving time in jail? I?m worried she?ll never have the joy of finding somebody to live with and build a life with.*

*?Worried Big Sis*

**Dear Big Sis,**
**I have great/excellent/amazing/inspiring news for you. This is not your problem. The fact is, I?m not entirely sure it?s a problem at all, but regardless, you?re totally off the hook on this one. Take this advice for what it is: a clinical professional begging you to get off her back.**

**Please be realistic here. If all of her friends are choosing to get married, it?s likely that Little Sis truly comprehends that there is some value in following suit. Her statements about jail sentences are a defense and, frankly, some of us need our defenses when all of our friends are suddenly partnered and we?re left feeling like we?ve done something wrong.**

**I do trust that your worry comes from a good place ? the best place ? I honestly do. But please tread lightly here. No matter how much empathy and goodwill you have in your heart, it?s very hard to make unsolicited advice not come across as anything other than criticism. If she?s directly asking for advice, and saying she is lonely and depressed, then help her. This could mean helping her think through her relationships, helping her feel better about herself, or helping her find someone else to talk to ? in no way does this mean that you ?convince? her of anything. Taking that route will only make her feel like you don?t understand her (even though that actually may be true), which is going to make her feel even lonelier than she felt before.**

***Stacy Notaras Murphy (www.stacymurphyLPC.com) is a licensed professional counselor and certified Imago Relationship therapist, practicing in Georgetown. This column is meant for entertainment only and should not be considered a substitute for professional counseling. Send your confidential question to [stacy@georgetowner.com](mailto:stacy@georgetowner.com).***