Living

Wally Greeves • June 3, 2013

The increasingly familiar 37-minute drive from my home to the entrance of Raspberry Falls Golf & Hunt Club in Leesburg, Va., has become a spiritual cleanser for me.

About the time the last of the Dulles Technology corridor buildings and E-ZPass employees disappear into the rear view mirror, the Catoctin foothills at the base of the Blue Ridge appear from between mounds of highway-blasted rocks and start to lower my blood pressure. Meandering through historical Raspberry Plain to arrive at the Scottish-style links course, I see why course designer Gary Player says, “This site was made for a golf course” and “Like nothing you’ve experienced this side of the Atlantic.” When golfers find a place that regularly humiliates them, beats them up, frustrates them, flagrantly tests the outer limits of their patience–and they keep going there–well, they have either gotten married or found a home golf course. Raspberry Falls is my home course.

My performance on a golf hole is much easier to digest and I am able to focus on the next one better, if I can no longer see the prior hole or hear golfers playing it right next to me. The thankfully simple progression of Raspberry holes from one to the next reminds me of classically sequential board games from childhood where you don’t have to backtrack, repeat, skip three spaces or follow arrows to get to the next challenge. This distinction, allowable by a proper amount of real estate, leads me to consider each of the 18 holes at Raspberry as a separate experience with different character and personalities. I absolutely like every hole on the course, which is a rarity for me. The rising elevation on bunker-lined fairway #1 brings you to a pleasant plateau at the base of the tree line and then sends you hurtling through the valley and over a stream to reach glassy green #2. The stunning views from the 100-foot elevated tee box on hole #3 are my favorite on the course, and a lofty drive will allow time to watch your ball slowly disappear into the valley like a champagne cork shot off the side of a mountain.

Restored stone walls from the Civil War era on holes #3 and #9, and Scottish-style stacked pot sand traps with names like “Lee’s Bunker” and “Grant’s Tomb” on hole #11 are among the many pleasant score distractions, assuming you are not behind or in them. You may need the assistance of cliff-dwelling Indians to get your ball out of some of these extremely deep, Grand Canyon-like looking bunkers. Natural rock outcroppings ubiquitously litter the course. If you do not reach the green on #13 with your tee shot, you may find yourself breaking these rocks out of frustration or just to find your ball. A successful approach shot on #10 over water is a sigh of relief when beginning the back nine, and the par five #11 will exercise your fairway woods at almost 600 yards uphill. Many of the Raspberry Plain farming outbuildings still stand around the layout and give an extra rustic feeling to holes like the par three #15. The elevated tee box on #18 is nestled into the side of a hill, and the falls that make up the name of the course drip down into the ravine you will be shooting over. Ending the round requires successfully crossing the ravine again and also flying “Rogue’s Hollow,” a villainous little round-killing greenside bunker that has robbed me frequently.

According to my wife, the habit I have of establishing the perfect drip in the kitchen sink and individually cleaning each of my clubs while re-organizing my golf bag is annoying. I find it cathartically therapeutic in a Macbeth sort of way and a chance to review which clubs I am using. It was while engaging in this perfectly healthy and normal behavior recently that I discovered another reason that I like Raspberry Falls: it requires the use of every club in my bag, including the 60-degree wedge.

From being welcomed by Gilbert or another red vest wearing cart assistant to speaking with general manager Bob Swiger, I have never felt anything other than welcome at this golf club. The Raspberry experience doesn’t have to end with a round at Raspberry Falls either, because Raspberry Golf Management owns and operates local favorite courses Augustine, Bull Run and Old Hickory Golf Clubs as well. You can join as a full member of any of these. If you need a break from playing golf at them than you can get married on the grounds of any of the four courses, and I see this happening more and more. The Raspberry Academy operates out of all four and is a great place to take lessons or get fitted for clubs. I was first introduced to Raspberry after I hosted a real estate tournament there in 2000, and they are no less friendly or innovative now. Two groups recently brought their sales and lobbyist all-stars out for lessons tailored to driving and wedge shots, and all left with custom fitted drivers and wedges. The growing Raspberry Golf Trail, offering multiple-play discounts, includes 13 courses from southern Virginia to mid-Pennsylvania, including another local favorite of mine, Queenstown Harbor in Maryland. Recent deals with the Golf Channel are just another indicator of the growing presence of the Raspberry name.

The fact that when I pull out of Raspberry Falls after a round of golf I feel like I just did something vastly important is not only funny but a testament to the designers, management and employees of the course. A round of golf here is exactly like a raspberry: an upscale, yet affordable, fruit that leaves a good taste in your mouth.

For more information, visit www.raspberryfalls.com Raspberry Falls, 41601 Raspberry Drive, Leesburg, Va. 20176 703-779-2555

Wandergolf will be a frequently appearing golf column in The Georgetowner that will be reporting on the golf interests of Washingtonians. If you have suggestions for columns or comments, please email them to wally@wandergolf.com
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Nico Dodd • May 9, 2013

On Saturday, May 11, the annual Georgetown Garden Tour, presented by the Georgetown Garden Club, will open a select number of private gardens to visitors and runs 10 a.m. until 5 p.m. On Saturday, tickets can be purchased at Christ Church, at 31st and O Streets, NW. The church will also host an afternoon tea from 2 p.m. until 4 p.m. at the church’s Keith Hall, included in the ticket price, as well as a garden boutique which will offer for sale a selection of topiaries, porcelain and gardening tools as well as products from Georgetown-based porcelain company Middle Kingdom and products imported from Haiti.
Gardens on the tour “show how something beautiful can be created in a small, urban space,” said Elizabeth Shriver, president of the Georgetown Garden Club. Included on this year’s tour is Dumbarton Oaks Park on R Street. In the past, funds raised from the tour were donated to Book Hill Park, Montrose Park, Volta Park and Trees For Georgetown, Shriver said.

For more information about the Georgetown Garden Tour, visit www.georgetowngardentour.com.

GARDENS ON THE 2013 TOUR

Gardens West of Wisconsin Avenue

3304 R Street

A sophisticated garden with style and a sense of humor. An enormous cup pours water into the pool, imaginative sculptures abound, delightful touches throughout.

1631 34th Street

A clever, two-level small garden packed with treats. A comma-shaped pool has a marvelous Japanese maple like an umbrella over it. A secluded lower level has a waist-deep dipping pool with seating.

1552 34th Street

A brick-paved square frames an exuberant fountain, two large urns are planted with mondo grass. Plantings include the pink climbing rose Cecile Bruner, vitex, red crape myrtles, a fig, and a golden chain tree.

3415 Volta Place

An inviting garden filled with lovely details: a pool, lace leaf maples, a hedge of weeping beeches, Chinese red garden sheds, antique pots, a greenhouse, bamboo, and the soothing nearby murmurings of little caged birds.

3327 P Street

Juxtaposition of rectangles outlined with narrow flagstone borders, Buddhas from Bali, mondo grass edging for planting beds, a water feature with fountains, a fire pit, gas lights.

3313 P Street

A sequence of four garden rooms wrap around three sides of the house: borders for active gardening, a lawn area, a place for outdoor meetings and a seating area around the pool.

Gardens East of Wisconsin Avenue

1401 34th Street

This small lushly planted garden is partially enclosed by an old carriage house. The free-form pond features water lilies and lotus. Ferns and hellebores abound, plus Harry Lauder’s walking stick. By Rogers & Co.

Off Lovers’ Lane, on R Street between 31st Street and Avon Place

The Dumbarton Oaks Park Conservancy offers its own special tour at midday of the “wild garden” that was once part of the Dumbarton Oaks Estate – all designed by Beatrix Farrand. Pastoral delights and insights into garden restoration abound.

Listings and descriptions provided by the Georgetown Garden Club. [gallery ids="101281,149484,149498,149477,149504,149469,149509,149463,149515,149491" nav="thumbs"]

Ari Post •

Virginia is Horse Country. Plain and simple. Equestrian culture is the lifeblood of the Middleburg and Loudoun County areas, where traditions of hunting, breeding and racing date back to the Revolution. Just as entertainment is the industry and culture of Hollywood, so it goes for horses and the Piedmont. Just walking through Middleburg, there is no mistaking the town’s deep-rooted affection for all things equine, as storefronts like the Red Fox Inn, Journeymen Saddlers, Middleburg Tack Exchange and the National Sporting Library and Museum line its main street.

The surrounding area is home to the longest standing equestrian traditions in the country, from annual sporting events to hunt clubs and breeding. For more than 150 years, horse enthusiasts from across the world gather in Upperville for the Upperville Colt and Horse Show, the oldest of its kind in the country, and one that has broken a lot of ground in its lifetime. Founded in 1840, the Piedmont Foxhounds in Virginia was the first foxhunting club in the United States. There even are records indicating that while the earliest politicians were settling matters of our government’s foundation, they once interrupted their proceedings to mount their horses and join the chase when a hunt coursed through.

Of course, there is the world famous Gold Cup steeplechase race at Great Meadows in The Plains, which just took place on May 4 to a crowd of some 50,000 attendants. The competition’s six hurdle and timber horse races as well as its Jack Russell Terrier races are anticipated equestrian events worldwide (they are well known testing grounds for future Olympic champions), and draw countless vendors, tents and tailgaters.

KESWICK HORSE SHOW

May 14 – 19

Around Charlottesville, south of Middleburg and Upperville, The 109th Annual Keswick Horse Show will be held again at the historic Keswick showgrounds from Tuesday, May 14 through 19, 2013. The events this year include the Eastminster Dog Show on Wednesday night, May 15, and the “Getting Centered” dinner and silent auction to benefit the Senior Center of Charlottesville on Thursday. The weekend starts with the USHJA National Hunter Derby followed by dinner under the tent Friday night.

Saturday is always a special gathering for the entire community as the Jumper Classic is a beautiful evening that has become a Keswick tradition. Finally, Sunday’s Down Home Fish Fry on the porch will be a relaxing conclusion to a wonderful week. www.KeswickHuntClub.com

54TH ANNUAL HUNT COUNTRY STABLE TOUR

MAY 25 – 26

Trinity Episcopal Church will host its 54th Annual Hunt Country Stable Tour in and around Upperville on Memorial Day weekend, May 25 and 26. A self-guided, countywide tour of all things equestrian, farms, stables and training tracks throughout the county will open their doors for visitors to offer a rare glimpse into the life and industry of the world or horses. The Country Fair at Trinity Church, on the grounds of the church, will also feature horse-themed arts & crafts in conjunction with the event, serving ice cream, treats for dogs and cats and more.

“The Stable Tour is a unique opportunity for the farmers to finally get their barns painted and show them off and teach people about what goes on at each farm,” says Betsy Crenshaw, of Trinity Episcopal Church. “And visitors are not otherwise allowed on these farms—these are privately owned farms and businesses. But this weekend, guests can enjoy these beautiful facilities, pet horses and feed them carrots, and enjoy this beautiful exchange. It’s also a day in the country—a chance to ride on some dirt roads, get your car good and dirty, and see what makes our area tick—which is the horse.”

Among the tour highlights is the Middleburg Training Track, an early-bird special for true horse lovers. This stop is an opportunity to stand rail-side and see Thoroughbreds condition and train. “This is where horses all around Virginia are trained to be race horses,” says Crenshaw. “If they are born here, they learn to be racehorses here.”

Horses are sent here as yearlings to be broken and begin their preliminary training before proceeding onto national and international tracks. Horses are conditioned year-round and ship out on race day from the track to compete. Built in 1956 by Paul Mellon, the facility features a 7/8-mile track with a four-stall starting gate, eleven barns, a tack room, bunk rooms and a veterinarian’s office. The demonstration is Saturday morning only from 7 a.m. to 10 a.m. So, don’t be late.

On Saturday, May 25, The Piedmont Coaching Club will provide a demonstration, and on Sunday there will be an exhibit of traditional hunting attire. www.TrinityUpperville.org

UPPERVILLE COLT AND HORSE SHOW

JUNE 3 – 9

The Upperville Colt and Horse Show is the nation’s oldest horse show, dating back to 1853. Previous to the initiation of this national event, horses and stallions had been exhibited for prizes at country and state fairs, but it is widely accepted that the proper horse show we know today was introduced on the American sporting scene at Upperville. From the first year, there were so many entries and interest was so keen that a sponsoring club was immediately formed, and at the turn of the century, Upperville expanded its mission to become a five-day exhibition with a wide entry list of the finest equestrian talent in the world.

Featuring Hunting, Jumping and Breeding categories, our country’s oldest horse show features rider events from children’s competitions to Olympic and World Cup riders and horses. The event’s beautiful, grassy showgrounds, nestled in Loudoun’s rolling foothills, offers visi- tors a packed schedule of daily events steeped in the equestrian tradition, and involves over two thousand horse and rider combinations.

Around the world, horses are bred to jump, and at Upperville, many breeds are represented in the jumper competitions. The European horses, which are generally larger and heavier than most American breeds, are bred both in Europe and the United States specially to be used as sport horses, or riding horses. Grand prix level horses are the most talented jumpers in the show world a successful grand prix horse often has a price tag of $500,000 or more. Young prospects are usually broken to ride at two or three years of age and after training and experience over fences, make it to the jumper show rings. A horse could make it to the grand prix ring at the relatively early age of six or seven years, and continue to compete through its late teens.

The goal of many riders is of course to compete as a member of the United States Equestrian Team and ultimately the Olympics and there is no better place to test the waters than the Upperville Colt and Horse Show. www.Upperville.com

FRIDAY NIGHT POLO AT EDEN GLEN

Eden Glen is a small community just outside of Middleburg, known for its longstanding adoration of all things equestrian. Founded in 1787, the community is the year round center for fox hunting, steeplechase racing and polo on the East Coast. Surrounding the park is nothing but grazing land for horses, woods and rivers there is nothing to hear but the sweet songs of nature. A mile and a half from Eden Glen is one of the best riding facilities in the area, Fox Chase. This is the place to go for all riders, with events for children and adults of all ages, where guests are also welcome to board horses. Their most popular event by far is Friday night polo at Great Meadows, which gives spectators an opportunity to see the sport like never before.

Georgetowner •

**DEAR STACY:**

*My husband and I are at odds on how to talk to our 5-year-old son about my brother, who died when I was 12. I think he is too young to hear about death. We have another 2-year- old son and I am really worried our 5-year-old will start to wonder if his brother will die. My husband is very religious and is not willing to lie to our children for any reason. We are about to spend a vacation with my family who always say a prayer for my brother at dinner. My sib- lings love to talk about my brother, and usually I do too. I don?t want to fight with my husband. I am considering not going, but that can?t be a long term solution. Help!*

?Honesty the best policy?

**DEAR HONESTY,**

You?re right ? not going is not a great solution for this problem. But I fully empathize with your flight-so-as-not-to-fight response. Who wants to argue with Husband, especially when he holds the moral authority?

My personal opinion is that ?Thou Shalt Not Lie? is absolutely not a mandate for full disclosure to a preschooler. Is Husband explaining the Boston bombings in specific, political terms? Are graphic photos being used to answer the question of ?Where do babies come from?? What about his annual take-home pay, is #1 Son aware of that number? We have to be mindful of the age group we are working with and adjust our language accordingly.

My advice is that you go about your vacation and answer #1 Son?s question as matter- of-factly as possible (e.g. ?We say a prayer for Brian because he died a long time ago and we still love and remember him.?). You follow up with the point that you are available and open to talking to him about this whenever he wants to or needs to. Don?t be overly emotional or dramatic ? he will mirror your response ? and don?t put words in his mouth (a la ?Don?t worry, Little Brother is very healthy and is unlikely to die young??). Reassurance and unconditional love are all he needs from you.

Now to the real meat of your question ? the way that Husband used the giant ?religious/ moral values? trump card to halt a healthy debate about parenting. This has happened before, right? Unless you create a map for dealing with such disputes, you are going to be cowed and minimized for the foreseeable future. Calm, connected, and balanced conversation about this is the only way to craft a game plan for your individual family. Get started by taking a meeting with the clergy member of Husband?s choice ? I think you might be surprised at the discussion that develops.

Wally Greeves • April 25, 2013

The clicketty-clack of ?rubber tires hitting? highway cement ?separations is the only thing ?that I was really thinking? about when, after hurtling ?through a couple of still-?confusing, identical looking roadway roundabouts, ?the charming and mystical ?town of Pinehurst, North ?Carolina, appeared from? the clouds out of nowhere.?“Field of Dreams,” “Bagger ?Vance,” and the two golfers? (I mean hunters) that found ?Brigadoon came to mind. Far away-sounding French horns tapered off as we drove into the charming golf village that is busy readying itself for back-to-back men and women U.S. Opens in 2014. Non-chain bookshops, clothing boutiques and eateries line the streets of the small village business district, surrounded by stunning Carolina homes that busy local realtors rent for as much as $75,000 a week during the Open. On our visit, the Holly was our resort home away from home.
Christened in 1895, with dark oak passages and suck-you-in cute creaky hallways that cause women to grab you by the arm, the Holly was consummate in its décor down to its two restaurants that offer collar-only steak at night and mouth-melting banana strawberry smoothies in early a.m. pre-golf or spa attire.

Boasting nine golf courses, the Donald Ross designed Pinehurst #2 is, by far, the most infamous and will host the Open in 2014. Teeing off at 8:40a.m. in 39-degree rain weather may make it hard for me to recognize the audience-flocked fairways come Open time, but I will know that’s where they are by watching the momentarily grief-stricken amazed looks on the faces of pro-golfers as they watch their balls roll off perfectly groomed, innocent-looking, turtle-backed greens. Showering after my humbling round, the thought occurred to me that I had more of a chance of standing at the back of the tub and successfully tossing a wet bar of soap onto the elevated bathtub corner than I did of hitting any kind of iron shot that the #2 greens would hold. Fortunate to play my round with a member of the 106-year-old, Pinehurst-based golfing fraternity, the Tin Whistles (think well-dressed, philanthropic Hell’s Angels of golf), I was treated to warm and funny stories in the history-laden clubhouse, complete with walls sporting action pictures of every who’s-who and who has been in the game of golf.

Creamy crab and sweet corn bisque with lightly toasted fritters floating in it, and the cheerful one-liner-offering staff at the resort’s anchor facility, Carolina Dining Room, helped me feel better about the damage #2 did to my permanent record and my golf-battered ego. Bellboys, shuttle drivers, caddies and other good time co- conspirators can play Pinehurst courses at their leisure with few restrictions, which says a lot to me about a golf resort. It serves as a reminder to me that whatever multi-starred and architecturally crisp resort you may wander into, it will be the people that dictate carefree afternoon naps or the cause of unsettling heartburn.

Encouraged by the staff at the clubhouse the next morning and heartily welcomed by the threesome and caddie I was paired with, my wife rode with us as we teed off at 8:27 a.m. on Pinehurst #4. The threesome we were golfing with was at Pinehurst celebrating one brother’s victorious bout with leukemia from the other brother’s marrow donation, and the son’s recovery from a double hip operation. This inspirational dynamic, our scratch-shooting caddie Bradley’s witty repartee, my wife’s presence and the sunny day all made up for the amount of time I spent in the course’s legendary Fazio-created 180 sand traps. This winter was a long one in Pinehurst, and I just missed seeing the blooming azaleas and dogwoods that #4 usually boasts at this time of year. Nevertheless, the appealing monochromatic-magic created by pine needle boughs every- where satiated my aesthetic appetite and made it easier to find wayward tee shots.

Manufacturing empathy and sensitivity for the non- golfer are wasted efforts at Pinehurst because of the number of other activities avail- able to engage in as well as the interesting historical nature of the resort. My wife is still showing off a pedicure she received from a choice of more than 50 treatments at the spa, and there are sinful amounts of money-spending opportunities that include clothes, tennis, food, real estate, antiques, alcohol, pottery and any item you ever thought of with the putter boy logo spawned the weekend long laughable request for “more putter butter, please.” Just the fact that you find yourself requesting extra butter is relaxation recognition. The front porch of the Carolina in the early evening is a loafer wearing, cigar-smoking, pre-dinner drink eruption of laughter experience dotted with expert bag pipe tunes, proffered by kilt-wearing musicians. In the early 1900s, Annie Oakley lived at Pinehurst for almost 10 years, gave shooting exhibitions at the Carolina and taught shooting to more than 125,000 persons. The Town of Southern Pines is five miles away, has a railroad track right through the middle of it, quaint cafes, antiques stores, many latte places, and little benches in the middle of town with non-stressed-looking people sitting at them and smiling at each other’s stories.

Pinehurst #8 is a full seven minutes away from the main clubhouse by pleasant shuttle and lays out where the Pinehurst Gun Club once did. Even in all its regalia and splendor, with en- trance roads to Pinehurst nearby and abundant housing, the proximity of courses 1 through 5 can be overwhelming. Views of the adjacent fairways from the clubhouse showcase meticulously groomed areas of green expanse dot- ted with golfers swinging their clubs like bees beating their wings, expeditiously being herded toward green pollination by white-uniformed “bee-keeping” caddies. I had the first tee time of the day at #8 on Sunday, and I enjoyed all 420 acres of it. Paired up with the resort requisite cigar smoking, beer drinking, long-ball hitting, loud Texan and his equally enjoyable Coloradan brother-in-law, we made shots that would have made Annie Oakley proud. The Natural wet- lands combined with rolling hills through expansive pines and positively alone feel to this tract made it the favorite for me of the three courses I played in my weekend at Pinehurst.

Thanks to a certain colonel and his wife hailing from Pinehurst #7, we had a genuine Carolina barbecue open house to stop by after showering and checking out of the Holly. What a pleasurable way to end a great trip. I overheard the host say to my wife “Look at Wally, he is perfectly happy and doesn’t want to leave,” and at that moment he was right. I was truly lost in too much of a good thing.

For more information, visit Pinehurst.com. Pinehurst Resort, 80 Carolina Vista Drive, Pinehurst, N.C. 28374 — (855)-235-8507

Wandergolf will be a frequently appearing golf column in The Georgetowner that will be reporting on the golf interests of Washingtonians. If you have suggestions for columns or comments please email them to wally@wandergolf.com
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Georgetowner • April 24, 2013

**DEAR STACY:**
*Both my husband?s family and my own live in different states than we do. My family comes to visit us quite a few times throughout the year, which is wonderful. My husband?s family never comes to visit us. It seems to bother me more than him! I find it hard to believe his parents, especially his mother who has no other kids, never come and visit us. If not for us, then for our two small children, who barely know their own grandparents. I can?t fathom that they won?tcomeseeus?Iwouldbesohurtifmy family treated us that way! There?s no finan- cial or physical reason for them not to travel, and they?re very warm and friendly if we go see them. There?s no sort of family animosity. Should I be so bothered by the fact that they won?t make time for my husband or his family? Should I encourage my husband to confront them about it?
??Feeling Exiled*

**DEAR EXILED,**
I totally get this.
I know how hard it is to live far from family and feeling like we may only to see them (and, let?s be honest, enjoy their on-site support when raising kids) when we make the fairly compli- cated effort to export our family unit to theirs. Knowing the clich? that grandkids supposedly are catnip for grandparents, it is surprising that these grandparents don?t travel to see their own, especially since you know of no financial or physical reason preventing them from making the trip.
But the truth is, we just don?t have enough data. We don?t know why they won?t travel ? in fact, we don?t actually know that they won?t, just that they haven?t, so far. When we don?t have the facts, human brains tend to make up their own stories and then those stories take on a life of their own (e.g. They think we have a dirty house; they don?t like the food we prepare; they just don?t like us).
Unless I?m missing something, this prob- ably doesn?t need to be a confrontation at all ? although I?m sure it might feel like a charged topic on your end because you just haven?t been talking about it openly for so long. Help Husband take a deep breath and then launch a calm Q&A with Grandma or Grandpa about whether they?d like to come visit ?this sum- mer,? followed by the kind sentiment of, ?We?d really love to see you.? If they deflect or make an excuse, there is nothing wrong with asking about it. The end result you want is that they feel like they can be close to you ? that usually starts when people feel safe and comfortable communicating on that deeper level. Good luck!

*Stacy Notaras Murphy (www.stacymurphyLPC. com) is a licensed professional counselor and cer- tified Imago Relationship therapist, practicing in Georgetown. This column is meant for entertain- ment only and should not be considered a substitute for professional counseling. Send your confidential question to [stacy@georgetowner.com](mailto:stacy@georgetowner.com).*

Georgetowner • April 10, 2013

**DEAR STACY:**
*My wife and I are expecting our second child this summer. I work full time (usually a 12-hour day) and she works from home part- time and also takes care of our five-year-old daughter. This arrangement has worked pretty well so far, but I?m starting to realize that I never have any downtime. I take our daughter to school every morning and as soon as I walk through the door at night, my wife hands her off to me and basically disappears. I realize that she has a lot on her plate and I don?t pretend I have more to deal with than she does, balancing her job requirements and dealing with school volunteer and so on. At the same time, I haven?t had a moment to myself in the last six months ? not to work out, not to meet up with friends, nothing. Even on the weekends, I am always in charge of our daughter because my wife uses that time to catch up on work that?s piled up from the week, or we are having ? family time? with all of us together. It?s very hard to talk about this without her getting defensive, and I know how whiny I sound, but I?m really scared about what it?s going to look like when we bring home a new baby.
?Drowning Already*

**DEAR DROWNING,**
I?m never completely sure, but I do think I can hear the strain in your written voice, as you work very hard not to sound like a stereotypical Pouty Guy who just wants his alone time. Let me assure you at the outset, you are not in the wrong here. Not even one little bit.
This situation is horribly unbalanced and that?s only going to get worse when New Baby shows up. Wife probably does need that time with the door closed each night. She sounds completely overwhelmed. That can?t mean you take up all the slack every single day. You both need to carve out some time for exercise (physical, emotional, and spiritual), not to mention finding some time to spend together.
I can imagine that her defensiveness has been a good reason to avoid this topic. But please recognize that dodging an important conversation like this only breeds resentment, a.k.a. the most corrosive relationship-killing bacteria around. We all get defensive when we feel we?re being attacked. So keep things calm with a little validation of her position. Follow up with ?I-Statements? like ?I am feeling overwhelmed,? and ?I am hopeful there is a way for both of us to get to feel more rested and fulfilled.? You can always call a professional to help guide this conversation, but holding it inside is not doing you (or Wife or Daughter or New Baby) any favors.?

*Stacy Notaras Murphy (www.stacymurphyLPC. com) is a licensed professional counselor and certified Imago Relationship therapist, practicing in Georgetown. This column is meant for entertainment only and should not be considered a substitute for professional counseling. Send your confidential question to stacy@georgetowner.com.*

Sara Gilgore • March 28, 2013

We have all heard about the Eastern Shore. Area natives, especially, know it as a conglomeration of vacation destinations along the eastern side of the Chesapeake Bay. Tourist spots. Fishing villages. Colonial towns. Communities that thrive in the summer months but are deserted for the rest of the year. While there might be truth to some of these notions, there is infinitely more to say about the diverse areas of Maryland and Virginia that constitute this collective waterfront region.

The Eastern Shore is composed of distinct locales, which house residents and host visitors with their inimitable personalities. They are undoubtedly recognized for their summer appeal but should not be completely discounted leading up to the heat. Many of these towns are celebrated for their historical significance, tranquil quality and distinguishing identity – you should consider exploring some of them in the coming months.

Featured towns: Eastern Shore, Md.

CHESTERTOWN, KENT COUNTY, MD.
This colonial town on the Chester River entices travelers to experience its historic homes, shops, arts scene and restaurants. As part of Kent County, it is surrounded by the Chesapeake Bay’s estuaries and farmland, and holds annual events and holiday functions throughout the year.
Chestertown is also home base to the Schooner Sultana, “a replica of a Boston-built merchant vessel that served four years as the smallest schooner ever in the British Royal Navy,” according to its website. The ship is known as the “Schoolship of the Chesapeake,” as it offers educational programming through sailing tours.
The Chestertown website offers additional suggestions for visitors, including self-guided tours, museums, theaters, scenic views and recreational activities. There are more than 40 lodging options in the vicinity, though it is known for its bed and breakfasts. www.chestertown.com.

ST. MICHAELS, TALBOT COUNTY, MD.
You are likely familiar with St. Michaels, as its Bay presence has become less subtle over time, and it is now better known for its tourist draw. Its marina and boating opportunities contribute to its charm, but St. Michaels is equally beloved for its memorable attractions, dining, spas and special events.
The Chesapeake Bay Maritime Museum, the St. Michaels Winery, War of 1812 reenactments, the St. Michaels Fresh Farm Market, various cruise lines and fresh seafood meals are among the services that continue to bring visitors to the area. Vacation rentals and quaint hotels provide an array of lodging alternatives, and the website’s suggested itineraries aid with planning the ideal vacation. www.stmichaelsmd.org.

EASTON, TALBOT COUNTY, MD.
This seaside village invites people to discover its character year-round. In addition to crabbing, sailing, kayaking and canoeing, Easton is a relaxing town with outlets for exploration and enjoyment – despite the weather. Its buildings represent a fusion of Colonial and Victorian architecture, and the town is renowned for its displayed appreciation of art and music. The Avalon Theatre presents comedy, art shows, theatrical performances and assorted concerts that make it a staple venue for both vacationers and locals.
Antiquing in downtown Easton, stargazing in the countryside and watching wildlife are just some of the many activities highlighted on the website. Other components of a visit might involve walking tours, community coffee shops, public golf courses, annual festivals and Victorian bed and breakfasts. An events calendar, which consistently outlines a plethora of activities for tourists, can be found on the website. www.eastonmd.org

CAMBRIDGE, DORCHESTER COUNTY, MD.
Situated on the Choptank River is Cambridge: it was settled in 1684, and is now one of the Eastern Shore’s prime destinations. The historic downtown, centered around Cambridge’s Main Street, is more than “beautiful buildings” and “one-of-a-kind shops,” as the downtown touts itself. Rather, it has a powerful presence that stems from its rich history and is apparent to any visitor.
Quirky celebrations add another dimension to the pulse: “Zip Code Day,” “Taste of Cambridge Crab Cook-Off” and “Summer Send-Off: Blues, Brews & BBQ,” to name a few.
Cambridge is home to several noteworthy attractions – the Brannock Maritime Museum, the Richardson Maritime Museum and La Grange Plantation – and other galleries, boutiques and art districts. Great Marsh Park, Sailwinds Park and the Choptank River Fishing Pier are other area favorites. www.choosecambridge.com.

Featured Towns: Eastern Shore, Va.

ACCOMAC, ACCOMACK COUNTY, VA.
As the County Seat of Accomack County, this small but significant town attracts people with its history and charm. It was originally established as the Town of Drummond in 1786 and, subsequently, Drummondtown. It did not receive its present name until 1893.
One of Accomac’s strongest tourist draws is perhaps its walking tour, during which people can gain understanding of the town’s evolution, through architectural changes in churches, cottages and houses. The Eastern Shore Public Library, Debtor’s Prison, Bloodworth Cottage and St. James Episcopal Church are among the notable points on the downtown tour. People live in the private residences, illustrating the community’s intimate nature and appreciation for historic preservation. www.co.accomack.va.us.

ONANCOCK, ACCOMACK COUNTY, VA.
Originally serving as a port town, Onancock aided transportation for steamboats between Baltimore, Md., and Norfolk, Va., with the Onancock Creek leading to the Bay. It is now one of the Eastern Shore’s more heavily populated towns, with more than 1,500 residents.
Onancock has substantial marine- and wild- life populations and water travel opportunities. Whether you bring your own boat, take a guided trip or just want to get a full taste of Onancock, the Town Wharf is a must-see. And, the Ferry to Tangier Island, a nearby fishing village, lets visitors venture beyond the town.
As a self-described “rural waterfront village,” Onancock’s visitor-friendly atmosphere and easily navigated downtown make it a desirable spot for tourists who enjoy biking and strolling. More information is listed on its website. www.onancock.com.

WACHAPREAGUE, ACCOMACK COUNTY, VA.
Wachapreague is an appropriately named seaside town – its website defines “Wachapreague” as “Little City by the Sea.” Bird watching and biking keep people coming throughout the year, as do the fishing and seafood.
The Hotel Wachapreague, the town’s first hotel and one of the largest on the Eastern Shore, was constructed in 1902 and remains open today. A marine railroad and commercial fishing are some of the many draws to this charming fishing community. (www.wachapreague.org)[http://www.wachapreague.org].

CAPE CHARLES, NORTHAMPTON COUNTY, VA.
Cape Charles has a history that dates back to the 1880s. Following its colonization, it was predominantly comprised of farmlands and wetlands, but as stated on its website, it developed into a railroad region when the Bay Coast Railroad was constructed. It is the largest town in Northampton County with 1,000 residents and under 3,000 acres of land.
The Historic District of Cape Charles displays a variety of architecture, including Colonial Revival, Neoclassical and Victorian style homes. Golf clubs, horseback riding stables, wildlife refuges, state parks – plus the water, beaches and fishing – make this town a great place to investigate. [www.capecharles.org](http://www.capecharles.org).
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