Living

Sallie Lewis • March 11, 2015

Designing idyllic country homes has become a cornerstone of architect John Rhett’s career. “Most of my clients have a place in the city where they do business and enjoy the urban life, but they need a place to recharge,” he said. “People want to relax in the country. People want to enjoy what they have, and they like to reconnect with nature.”

Rhett’s work is a testament to this communal appreciation for the rural landscape. The Connecticut native received an architecture degree at Rice University and did additional work at the University of New Mexico, where he studied solar architecture and sculpture. While there, Rhett spent time working for an adobe contracting company, where he learned firsthand about the efficiency of passive and active solar architecture, the importance of the sun’s orientation in respect to a home and, more generally, the value of sustainability in design.

Today, Rhett is based in Charlottesville, Virginia, with a satellite office in Charleston, South Carolina. The Rhett family has deep ties to the Holy City, going back to 1624.

“Charleston has great classical architecture and that appeals to me a lot,” he said. “The city has a beautiful culture of art and music, and Charlottesville has a similar energy.” In both places, Rhett has found a “culture of craft.” He enjoys employing local talent and using local materials when working on his projects. “It adds another layer of joy,” he said.

In all of Rhett’s work, both commercial and residential, he and his team actively work to solve the puzzles presented to them. They consider what a client envisions as well as the potential and energy a property has to offer, then propose creative solutions to balance those factors.

As a result, Rhett’s projects and his peaceful country homes are all different. They are a product of listening to his client’s vision and making it come alive through creative – and often technical – choices. According to Rhett, there are always things to be aware of: “where the sun is, where prevailing winds are coming from, how a house can use those to its advantage.”

A harmonious sense of proportion suffuses Rhett’s designs, yet it operates on a subliminal level. The owners of his country homes are able to relax and enjoy their surroundings because the designs aren’t discordant; rather, they are in balance. In addition, the property and the home complement one another.

Particularly with country residences, Rhett recognizes the opportunity for the surrounding landscape to influence the architecture, to tie together in a unique way so that the home is an extension of the land. It’s a philosophy of respecting the natural environment and incorporating architecture into it, bringing out the best of both.

Sustainable architecture and eco-friendly building is a large part of the industry today, and Rhett believes it is here to stay. “It’s addressing very important issues and I think it will grow more important over the years as resources get more and more scarce,” he said.

Though most of his homes are in Virginia, Rhett has had the opportunity to work elsewhere, from the aforementioned California to Portugal, and he takes pride in bringing those diverse experiences to every project. He has been influenced by many bright minds, including Thomas Jefferson; Carlisle Becker, a landscape professor of his at Rice; Antoni Gaudí, the acclaimed Catalan architect; Frank Lloyd Wright; and François Goffinet, a Belgian architect and garden designer for whom Rhett worked prior to starting his own firm in 1995.

Goffinet taught Rhett a great deal about master planning of properties and the symbiotic relationship between land and home.

While with him, Rhett worked on his first landscaping project, a multimillion-dollar job in Bel Air, California, during which he learned from some of England’s finest horticulturists. Since then, the landscape component has been further woven into his career.

As spring settles in after a winter that persisted into March, the countryside around D.C. will be further beautified by Rhett’s lasting work and harmonious, creative legacy.

Rhett Architects
1857 Rivanna Farm, Charlottesville, Virginia
434-249-4667
jmr@RhettArchitects.com

Stacy Notaras Murphy •

Dear Stacy,

*I am pretty frustrated about my living situation. My roommate’s boyfriend practically lives with us and pays no rent. He sleeps in late, so I have to be quiet when I get up in the morning. He doesn’t contribute to the household utilities and never does any chores – so even when I am doing my half, it feels like he is getting away with something. He’s not my boyfriend. No, he’s not a bad guy, but he’s NOT my boyfriend. I have held my tongue this long, I think, because I imagine that when I have a serious boyfriend, I would like for him to feel welcome in my home as well. But this is too much and I don’t know how to broach the subject with my roommate. We have a good situation, but this is getting more and more difficult every day. I know this isn’t a relationship issue, exactly, but I’m at the end of my rope.*

– Biting my Tongue

Dear Biting:

Ugh, what an uncomfortable situation. You sound like someone who has put up with a lot. It’s time to give some voice to your frustrations.

First, a little educatiwon about frustrations. They are like yeast. If you don’t use them productively – for instance, as a motivator to make changes – those frustrations grow and grow, until they take up all the space in the room. Allowing your frustrations about Roommate’s egregious open-door policy to expand will definitely ruin the “good situation” you have been enjoying. It’s time to get your feelings on the table.

I really appreciate your analysis of your own motivation. It makes sense that if you are eminently cool about Not Your Boyfriend’s presence in your home, it stands to reason that when Future Boyfriend shows up, he will get the same treatment. In therapy, that’s what we call modeling behavior (the rest of the world calls it the Golden Rule).

But let’s follow that thought all the way through to the end. Without some ground rules, wouldn’t Roommate end up feeling like you in that situation? Why not model a healthy way of confronting the issue instead? This actually is a “relationship issue,” one that we can use as a practice swing so you can build up your self-advocacy skills.

*Stacy Notaras Murphy (www.stacymurphyLPC.com) is a licensed professional counselor and certified Imago Relationship therapist practicing in Georgetown. This column is meant for entertainment only and should not be considered a substitute for professional counseling. Send your confidential question to stacymurphyLPC@gmail.com.*

Linnea Kristiansson •

The 11th Annual Washington D.C. Travel & Adventure Show, a perfect event for travel lovers to get inspiration, information and interaction with other travelers, comes to town this weekend. The show is part of the largest series of consumer travel shows in the U.S. and takes place at the Walter E. Washington Convention Center on March 7 from 10:00 a.m. – 5:00 p.m. The event is also open from 10:30 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. on Sunday, March 8.

At the Washington D.C. Travel & Adventure Show, you’ll discover thousands of authentic travel experiences and speak directly to the travel experts who can get you there, give you the inside scoop, and save you money on exclusive travel deals.

The show will feature speeches from some of biggest names in the industry, including Rick Steves, Pauline Frommer and Travel Channel personality Samantha Brown, will be featured speakers at

Back by popular demand, the Destination Theater will feature location-specific seminars where travelers can draw inspiration and get information about the world’s most sought-after travel destinations like New Zealand and Alaska.

Attending Washington D.C. Travel & Adventure Show is like walking through a living guide book with thousands of world experts to talk to. You can spend countless days and hours searching the internet or thumbing through a book for this information or just make a trip to the Washington, D.C. Travel & Adventure Show/

For full event information about speakers, stage and seminar schedules, exhbitions, prizes, giveaways and more, visit travelshows.com/washingtondc.

Bon Voyage!

Sallie Lewis •

As winter’s wrath continues here in D.C., places like Palm Beach, Fla. – with its warm breezes, bright sunshine and lush greenery – have never looked better. For a last-minute escape, this idyllic, palm-filled destination is a good option. Flights to Palm Beach are as low as $400, and once you arrive you can rest assured that there will be no shortage of glamour and grandeur.

This week alone, the Honda Classic is at the PGA National Resort and Spa in Palm Beach Gardens and the 58th annual International Red Cross Ball, Feb. 28 at the Mar-a-Lago Club, will welcome ambassadors, dignitaries and philanthropic leaders from around the globe.

There is always something to do and someone to see in the Town of Palm Beach, not to mention glorious weather to be enjoyed. This roundup of ideas will help you plan a memorable getaway.

On arrival, drop your bags at one of the town’s premier hotels. The legendary and historic Breakers Hotel sprawls beautifully on the Atlantic oceanfront and features a classic Italian-Renaissance style with numerous pools, restaurants, a spa and countless other amenities. If you’re looking for more of a boutique property, try The Colony Hotel, which has been home to notable visitors for more than 60 years and just last summer completed an $18-million renovation. This cozy hotel, with its British Colonial architecture, doesn’t skimp on style. Guests enjoy pillow top mattresses, 350-thread-count Egyptian cotton sheets, European duvets, great food and entertainment. The Brazilian Court Hotel, with its lush courtyards, its delightful Café Boulud restaurant and its soothing Frédéric Fekkai Salon and Spa, is another option for undisputed luxury. For budget-friendly lodging, consider The Palm Beach Historic Inn.

The Town of Palm Beach is a magnet for the lover of sports and the outdoors. Whether you’re playing golf or tennis at one of the many clubs, or spending the day shopping, the town will shine for you. The Palm Beach Par 3, on 39 acres between the Atlantic Ocean and the Intracoastal Waterway, is open to the public. It’s a popular and picturesque place to work on your golf game.

Worth Avenue is one of the nation’s greatest and most iconic shopping streets, its familiar archways boasting upscale retailers such as Ferragamo and Cartier. Tucked amidst these famed shops are quiet “vias” blossoming with flora, fauna and boutiques. Enjoy an afternoon of window-shopping and get lost in the maze of antiques dealers and art galleries.

Palm Beach is also home to many memorable restaurants, several the creations of true gastronomic visionaries. James Beard-nominated chef Clay Conley opened Buccan in 2011 along with partners and friends Sam Slattery and Oliver “Piper” Quinn. Today, it continues to be one of Palm Beach’s year-round hot spots, with its small plates, big flavors and great ambiance. For classic French cuisine and glamorous dining, head to Café L’Europe, a staple since 1980. For decadent Northern Italian food, stop at the consistently delicious Bice and sit on the back patio for an unforgettable al fresco dinner. Michael McCarty’s on Cocoanut Row is another gem, serving everything from soufflés to seafood since it opened in 2002. McCarty’s is renowned for its socializing prowess as well as for its food and drink. After dinner, it becomes a popular watering hole for late-night cocktails.

The Town of Palm Beach is beloved for its Old World charm and glamour, its quiet streets, its beautiful architecture and its ritzy scene. Escape the winter slush and retreat to Florida for a short respite. The warm winter sunshine, the soft clatter of palm fronds in the breeze and the fresh, salty smell of ocean air await you.

Josef Brandenburg •

When it’s 25 degrees below freezing, it’s hard to believe that Memorial Day Weekend (the unofficial first day of summer) is only 86 days away. Feeling and looking your best makes beach and pool time much more enjoyable. And being proactive about your fitness keeps you from being tempted to do something dangerous or unsustainable.

1. Use combination moves. These exercises are great for total body toning and revving up your metabolism, working nearly all the muscles in your body at once. The most effective combo moves combine an upper-body and a lower-body movement. Two examples are squat to row and split squat to overhead.

2. Drink half your body weight in ounces. This will help curb your appetite, allow for more workout intensity and improve your recovery. Often people confuse thirst for hunger. Proper hydration allows you to cool off more efficiently during exercise, which delays fatigue. Proper hydration also improves circulation, enhancing recovery and results.

3. Non-competing pairs. Structure your workouts for maximum time efficiency and effectiveness with non-competing pairs of exercises. Upper- and lower-body exercises make great pairs. An example of this are push-ups and deadlifts. The push-ups will tax your upper body, and while those muscles are recovering you can work your butt and thighs with the deadlift. This allows for local muscle recovery for maximum safety and intensity in minimal time.

4. Eat about three times per day. Fewer meals lead to a healthier metabolism and a better regulated appetite. Eating lots of small meals actually makes you hungrier and less satisfied with what you’ve eaten, even when the calories are the same.

5. Use power moves. Fast, explosive movements stimulate your metabolism in ways that slower exercise can’t. For most people starting out, this means throwing or slamming a medicine ball. These moves are easy to learn, very safe and require you to get your entire body involved to do them well.

A best-selling author and fitness expert with 16 years of experience, Josef Brandenburg owns The Body You Want club in Georgetown. Information about his 14-Day Personal Training Experience may be found at TheBodyYouWant.com.

Stacy Notaras Murphy •

Dear Stacy,

I have read online that being kind to one another is one of the hallmarks of a good marriage. I know that my husband and I fail at this more often than not, and it’s so discouraging. We have had a lot of ups and downs in our 15 years together. I think the transition to becoming parents was not as blissful as we both expected. While negative comments between us are not the norm, negative energy is, and I know we are not modeling good behavior for our kids. So if I know that kindness is so important, why is it so hard for me to be kind to him? I set my intentions to be nice, but it’s just hard to change things midstream. Any advice?

– Trying to Be Kind

Dear Trying:

First, I want to applaud something you already know, and already stated: you are trying. Trying is 90 percent of the battle sometimes. Getting past the strong defenses built up by years of frustration and resentment, just so you can try to be kind because a piece of you wants a better relationship? That’s hard, hard work. So you are trying. And you should keep trying! But I have just one question.

Does Husband know you are trying?

What I mean is, are you talking about how hard it is for the two of you to be kind right now? Are you talking about your efforts to improve things? Is he reading the same stuff online that you are reading? Is improving your marriage actually on the table right now? If, instead, you are doing all of this covertly, hoping to improve things without ever coming clean about the impact of it all – well, I hate to be blunt here, but that’s not going to work. It’s like a crash diet: an extreme change in behavior without any of the support required to make it last. How about we come up with a real plan?

I suspect that your online research relates to John Gottman’s groundbreaking finding that stable, happy couples have an average of five positive interactions for every one negative interaction. Your attempts at kindness are an excellent way of boosting the plus column, but you need more. If you and Husband had a conversation about wanting to make things better in this way, he might be more tuned-in when you offer those kind words, and much more likely to reciprocate.

Stacy Notaras Murphy (www.stacymurphyLPC.com) is a licensed professional counselor and certified Imago Relationship therapist practicing in Georgetown. This column is meant for entertainment only and should not be considered a substitute for professional counseling. Send your confidential question to stacymurphyLPC@gmail.com.

Georgetowner •

Dear Stacy,

I am the person who wrote a month ago about my strained friendship with one of my best friends from my mid-20s. We are now both married with new babies, and I was hoping to get back to being close with her, but she never responded. You advised me to reach out one more time, just to know that I had tried absolutely everything I could. Well, I did. I was met with a response that seemed genuine, but, looking back, not exactly “deep.” She told me she was not angry at me, but was excited to be a new mom with me, and promised that we would spend more time together.

Before any of that could happen, I sent a message sharing news about my little one (serious medical scare, which after extensive testing turned out to be a less serious diagnosis). She replied instantly – which made me so happy – with encouragement. Then, about 30 seconds later, I received a new message from her, definitely not meant for me, conveying my news to someone else, along with a snarky comment about me no longer being able to grandstand about my child’s medical scare. I was shocked. I replied immediately that I was sad to read this, but that, at the very least, it confirmed what I had been thinking all along. She had been angry at me, had been unwilling to talk about it and was gossiping with others about it. Her response was minimal. My question to you is, what’s next? Is there anything I can do?

– Is This The End?

Dear End:

Wow. I don’t know if this is the end for this relationship, but I will say that if you think it’s time to end it, you’ve got my vote.
Who among us hasn’t sent an email or a text to the wrong recipient? We all know the shame of realizing that it’s not erasable, but rather a permanent part of the way the other person will view us. But most of us choose to make amends in that moment.

To be honest, to be truthful even though it hurts – at this point, we’re already hurt, so why not go further? – is the only option when something like this happens. But if Friend replied with a “minimal” response and doesn’t take real steps to apologize now, I think the writing is on the wall.

That writing, by the way, is that you have done all you can do. Sure, Friend clearly has something going on with her, but she’s not shared that info, so you can stop filling in the blanks that would make her mistreatment okay with you. When you saw that she had betrayed you to someone else, your immediate response was a matter-of-fact, “Well this makes sense now,” instead of a giant screed about her rudeness and lack of empathy. That reads to me like serious self-restraint. Keep it up, because you need to heal from this.

Sometimes we have done all we can do, and just need permission to let it go. Give yourself that permission (ahem, you don’t really need it from me). I understand that she meant something to you in the past, but this relationship doesn’t seem like it’s giving you anything valuable in the present tense.

Stacy Notaras Murphy (www.stacymurphyLPC.com) is a licensed professional counselor and certified Imago Relationship therapist practicing in Georgetown. This column is meant for entertainment only and should not be considered a substitute for professional counseling. Send your confidential question to stacymurphyLPC@gmail.com.

Richard Selden • January 29, 2015

Born March 2, 1917, Desiderio Alberto Arnaz y de Acha III became the symbol of America’s love affair with Cuba, the country from which his wealthy and prominent family fled in 1934.

Ironically, the original TV run of “I Love Lucy,” in which Desi Arnaz played bandleader Ricky Ricardo, nearly coincided with the dictatorship of Fulgencio Batista, who led the revolt that sent Arnaz’s family – and many others – into exile in Miami.
During the Desilu decade of the 1950s, Cuba was the “Holiday Isle of the Tropics,” 90 miles from Key West. Havana was the Latin Las Vegas.

An earlier wave of Cuba tourism lasted from the 1920s through the early 1930s, the Prohibition years, when famous and infamous Americans went to Cuba to drink, gamble, golf, fish and perhaps sin. After a few visits, Ernest Hemingway bought his winter retreat, Finca Vigía, in 1940. It is now a museum, a mandatory stop along with his favorite Havana bars, La Floridita (for daiquiris) and La Bodeguita del Medio (for mojitos).

But since the 1959 revolution led by Fidel Castro – now aged 88 and ailing, having stepped down from Communist Party leadership in 2011 – Cuba became known as a police state rather than a vacation paradise. Along with others, the politically powerful Cuban exile community in the United States made sure that economic sanctions, including a travel embargo, remained in effect.

Then, on Dec. 17, President Obama announced a move to reestablish diplomatic relations with Cuba, following negotiations (with the assistance of Pope Francis) that led to the release of American Alan Gross, imprisoned since Dec. 2009, in exchange for three Cuban agents.

Unimpeded travel to Cuba from the U. S. will require Congressional approval. However, several regulatory changes will make things easier. For instance, U.S.-based credit and debit cards will now be accepted in Cuba, and U.S. travelers will be able to bring home up to $400 worth of Cuban goods.

The U.S. government will also issue what are called general licenses, for citizens who wish to travel for humanitarian reasons, to perform or compete and for other specific purposes. Currently, only special licenses, requiring an arduous application process, are available. Americans who travel to Cuba without a license or through a travel provider that is not licensed by the Department of the Treasury are breaking the law and risk substantial fines.

The regulatory amendments putting these changes into effect are supposed to be issued “in the coming weeks.” More information may be found online at treasury.gov/resource-center/sanctions/Programs/pages/cuba.aspx, where there is a link to sign up for Cuba Sanctions email updates.

In the meantime, the easiest, if expensive, legal option to visit Cuba is through a “people-to-people” group tour organized by an authorized travel provider, either open to the public or under the auspices of a university, a museum or another nonprofit.

The Cuban government has been investing in tourism since the 1990s, restoring sections of Old Havana and building resort hotels with foreign, but not American, partners. Capacity is limited, and most facilities have not been modernized.

By far the largest source of international visitors to Cuba – nearly a million per year – is Canada, whose citizens tend to go to Varadero, about 14 miles east of Havana, for inexpensive beach and nature vacations. While around 650,000 U.S. citizens visit annually, the vast majority are Cuban Americans with visas to visit family members.

Over the next few years, there will be a strong curiosity factor. Americans will seek to feel the aura of Capone, Hemingway and Sinatra, gawk at the vintage cars, visit unfamiliar beaches and see for themselves what the country and the people are like.

After a few years of opening to America, and, presumably, a surge when the ban is finally lifted, the place that Cuba will come to occupy in the panoply of Caribbean destinations is unknown.

But wouldn’t it be nice to toast Desi’s 100th birthday with rum and cigars in Santiago de Cuba, where both his father and grandfather were mayor?

Wally Greeves •

Famous for its salt production in the 1600s, now it’s the potcake-puppy culture, pirate shipwrecks, pink flamingos and Keith Richards that all thrive on the powdery white sands that make up the Turks and Caicos Island chain in the British West Indies.

The popular but uncrowded beach town of Providenciales, TCI’s largest city, where I stayed in December at the Ocean Club Resort, seemed to have the perfect ratio of condos, resorts, restaurants, and shopping venues, with just the right amount of nothing thrown in. Nobody tried to sell me anything on the beach once.

The original Turks and Caicos Islanders lived in peace for 700 years until the European arrival in the early 16th century eradicated the population through the introduction of disease and slave recruitment. After a vacant period of 150 years, the salt industry, and later cotton, demanded the use of slaves who, after being emancipated in 1834, really formed the basis of the population there today. Americans form the majority of tourism now, and many snowbirds from Canada and the East Coast spend substantial parts of the year or retire here. Tourism, offshore banking and fishing account for most of this British Overseas Territory’s industry.

Thanks largely to an extremely comprehensive talk and music demonstration at Ocean Club West by Turks and Caicos Islands Culture Director David Bowen, I felt like I understood for the first time some of the challenges associated with historically interrupted areas like TCI, when it comes to recognizing, defining and promoting its own culture. Bowen demonstrated “Ripsaw” music, indigenous to TCI, which is made from scraping a bent saw with a knife or screwdriver. He has personally collected poetry and stories from the Islands’ elders and can recite them at will, which was mesmerizing. I valued this immensely and believe it is this type of undertaking by native locals that will distinguish and elevate the travel experience in a part of the world that seems in danger of becoming too homogenized.

The night of my arrival I had an almond-crusted fried grouper with coconut sauce right on the beach at the resort that was phenomenal. A dinner at the resort’s signature restaurant Opus was also a culinary bull’s eye, where I gleefully inhaled the crudo fish tasting and coconut curried conch.

Since Ocean Club has two locations a mile apart on Grace Bay, both of whose amenities were available to guests, I had an extremely pleasant dinner at the Seaside Café West location as well. The resort was three for three in the kitchen department. The two-location set-up works well. The east spot was nice and quiet, while the west one was closer to downtown shops and good for my ADHD loud fixes.

Off-campus dining favorites included Da Conch Shack, an open-air compound devoted to showcasing the conch from the water to the table in every way possible, and the weekly Wednesday night Island fish fry. With at least 20 restaurants there hawking their chewables, I spent a small fortune wolfing down grilled spiny lobster, varieties of jerked chicken and pork, enough plantains to fill a Fiat, and some little red pepper things that were great. If you suddenly find yourself needing a hand-painted tin gecko of any size or a chiseled coconut face, this is the venue where your tchotchke thirst can be quenched. A TCI-style Junkanoo featuring “The Conch Man” was fun, while attempts at an open-mike type format served as a reminder why you went on vacation in the first place. The three dentists I golfed with swore that Coco Bistro was a landmark eating establishment not to be missed, but I did.

The Provo Golf club was an expensively watered oasis on the limestone island, and I ended up playing two rounds of golf here during my short stay. A first for me was a golf course that had pink flamingos on it that were there by choice. Conversations with club pro Dave Douglas were representative of the interactions I had with almost all activities management in Providenciales: friendly and story-abound, affirming of the small island’s obvious network of friendships. While it may be the only game in town, it was clear from talking to other golfers that it was a focal point activity for many of the repeat travelers and condo owners on the Island. A second first was the introduction of Moringa to me by Douglas. Moringa is the newest protein leaf on the rise that he swears will soon be in every North American supermarket. He and his sons have planted them on the course. I can’t tell if my glass of Moringa Tea helped me hit the ball any farther than usual, but it tasted good.

Jumping at the chance to go saltwater fly-fishing with the resort’s game-fishing partner Silver Deep, I was channeling Hemingway, while whipping line back and forth from the skiff’s bow, but the elusive bonefish remained elusive and I had to settle for a small barracuda in its place. Shark sightings in crystal clear water and the countless bird species abound were amazing. An afternoon sailboat excursion was beautiful and the snorkeling colorful. I spent a relaxing evening touring the mangrove flats with a knowledgeable tour guide who showed me how to pick up jellyfish at rest and told good glow worm stories. I had a locally hand-rolled cigar each evening on the porch, while I listened to the warm winds blow through the palm trees. I had a really good time.

More information about this resort can be found at www.oceanclubresorts.com. Maps and facts about the Turks and Caicos Islands can be found at www.gov.tc.
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