Stay Seaside Safe and Sound-side at Sanderling

January 16, 2015

Nestled between the Atlantic Ocean and the Currituck Sound, Sanderling Resort in Duck, N.C., presents its new multi-million dollar rebrand, spanning from ocean to sound. Since its opening in 1985, Sanderling Resort has had the comfortable feel of a family beach house, with all of the perks of a luxury getaway resort.

Sanderling revamped AAA Four Diamond Left Bank, now Kimball’s Kitchen, highlighting a decadent selection of steak and fresh seafood. Kimball’s Kitchen includes a raw bar with an oyster selection among steak and seafood dishes accompanied by the full hospitality of southern sides. Kimball’s Kitchen could be called Lawrence’s as chef de cuisine John Lawrence will now be gracing the kitchen.

The restored 1899 United States Lifesaving Station turned restaurant of the same name, “Lifesaving Station,” presents the renovated Lifesaving Station Deck as well as the new second floor No.5 bar, overlooking the sound.

The brand new Lobby Bar, serving the Lobby and Patio Deck, will play host to the perfect patio accessory, a fire pit.
The Sanderling Signature Cocktail “Keepers Watch” saves all from the heat of the season, available at the Livesaving Station and SandBar. With honey pecan infused Jim Beam, Bleinheim Ginger Ale, and a slash lemon and lemon wedge garnish, Sanderling goers are in for a sweet treat.

Sanderling’s pool facilities received an upgrade with six new South Wing rooms situated next to the new adults-only heated Tranquility pool, a perfect grown-up getaway. Nine rooms will provide immediate access to the new Resort Family pool. There is also a heated indoor pool at the spa for stormy beach days.

Speaking of the beach, those who stay at Sanderling have private beach access with beach valet for all of their seaside needs. New to this 2013 version of Sanderling, guests have no need to leave the property to partake in water activities including surfing, jet skiing, paddle boarding and more either on the Atlantic or the Currituck Sound.

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Carla’s Angels


It’s a drive and a time to get to Country Club Kennels and Training in Fauquier County, Virginia, a drive and a time filled—once you get off the interstates and main drags—with stretches of statuesque barns, sheds that are peeling some original paint, crosses and churches, markets, even a Baja Bistro, a tasty deli-style roadside restaurant serving generous portions of taco and enchilada dishes close to where you’re going. You can practically hear fragments of the Bill Danoff-penned, John Denver anthem “Country Roads.”

We’re far removed from Washington, D.C., its bike lanes and hundreds of restaurants and monuments and neighborhoods and eclectic and electric urban scene. We’re in the country—rolling hills, quiet, sky-filled, field-filled country where Carla Nammack lives and works and lives her twin creations, running her closely connected enterprises, the Country Club Kennels and the Chance Foundation which are at the center of her life.

It’s a life filled with dogs—her own dogs, currently a remarkable 13 in number, but also the dogs being boarded at the 44-acre farm and estate, being groomed, watched over, tended to, spoiled and exercised at the Kennels. There are also the rescue dogs getting tender care, training, socialization and medical attention so that they will more likely be adopted through the auspices of her great and loving charity effort, the Chance Foundation. The foundation is a no-kill rescue and adoption facility, nurtured by Nammack with a series of fund raising and charity events, donations from dog lovers who want to help and by a special place in her imagination and emphatic heart for the dogs that find their way to this place.

For Nammack, the line between her business and her foundation is thin. It’s almost a kind of perpetual motion machine that is bridged by nothing but serendipity and by the common denominator of the presence of dogs. The dogs—those coming here to be boarded for a kind of vacation of their own while their owners vacation—and those abandoned, often wounded and suffering dogs left behind and often saved from being euthanized have something in common. Both groups are loved—no other word for it—one by one and together by Nammack and her staff, in a human illustration of the famous unconditional love attributed to canines.

Nammack loves to talk about dogs—particular dogs like Nellie, or her own first dog which she got as a birthday present when she was nine, or dogs in general, and why they’re special. But you don’t know any of that when you turn into the driveway at Wind Haven Farm at 10739 Bristersburg Road in Catlett, Va. You see a long driveway, green fields, a shed, a lengthy area of vegetation and a tree- rich pond, an office, spotted by dog and animal sculptures here and there. “If it’s a dog, or a horse, I tend to buy it,” she tells you later.

We spot her coming accompanied by two dogs, a brown chocolate lab who comes to check us out with nose, sniff and friendly nudging, and another black dog. She walks at a brisk pace, smiles a greeting, accompanied by an outstretched hand, a petite, attractive blonde woman in a black top and white slacks. Nearby is one of her employees’ truck, with a placard that reads, “You would drink too, if you were a dog groomer.” Nearby, behind a large fenced enclosure, several dogs—recognizably big and small, a Beagle here, a Pomeranian, an eager Cocker—are barking out of curiosity and greeting.

After working in marketing for her father John’s business, she moved on to starting up the kennel in 1996, with the help and support of her dad. “How to describe him—a charismatic, hardworking, always supportive dad, a proud dog lover who taught me about the value of hard work, persevering, and reaching for my dreams.” Her mother is Aina Mergaard Nammack, an accomplished artist whose father was from Norway and mother from Spain. “She raised me to be responsible, independent, to care about others and to make wise choices in life. She is my role model,” she said.
It’s hardly quiet in the kennel’s office—dogs—especially Nellie, who’s due for adoption and, while she’s been here, has acquired quiet diva characteristics. “You cannot get by her without petting her,” she said. Nellie, a beautiful, graceful small grayish Miniature Schnauzer came to Nammack as a rescue with the kind of story that seems typical of Chance Foundation rescues: “Nellie was found lying on the side of the road…someone spotted her and took her to the nearest shelter. She was matted, covered in fleas and ticks, filthy, with an infected tumor on her back. …. After l2 days at the shelter, she was scheduled to be put down, but Carla and two of her employees, Jenna Seale and Madison Ross saw her and immediately agreed that she did not deserve to die at a shelter. They brought her to the kennel assuming she would be a hospice situation. After some antibiotics, a good grooming and one day as the office greeter, she made a complete 180-degree turn around.”

Nellie—scheduled for an operation to remove the growth on her back—has since been adopted by two women who had previously adopted two others dogs from the Chance Foundation.

More than a few times, rescued dogs get adopted by Carla herself. She has “13 dogs, at last count, not counting the ones who passed on,” she said.

There are other stories than Nellie’s—including that of Pom Pom, a small, energetic Pomeranian hit by a car with devastating effect. Pom Pom had part of his jaw removed by surgery, which had the salutatory effect of making him appear oddly cuter.

Her own first dog? “I got to pick for myself,” Nammack said. “There was this one dog, they were all puppies, and I just scooped him up right away.” He was a ninth birthday present, “part great dane, part mastiff, part boxer.” He got quite large. His name was Treve. It was the start of a love affair with Great Danes, who “are just big babies”. You can tell—there’s a painting of one of her Great Danes in the house, and he’s on the kennel’s business card. “Sampson,” she said. “Handsome Sampson, he was the most majestic boy on earth. He was my best friend and was perfect in every way.”
If it is true that, as some have claimed, that “all dogs go to heaven,” there are probably quite a few dogs who will think that heaven looks just like the Country Club Kennel grounds, the green, green grass—and pool, and pond and vast exercise yards and runs—of home.

Here’s what you see and get when a dog is brought for boarding here—extra-large kennel runs, exercise and play time six to seven times a day, all play closely supervised and only with the owner’s permission, supervision by a staff of 12 plus volunteers, a pool, a waterfall pool and the ponds. This is a place where dogs forget to think about their owners.

Nammack, an expert trainer herself—you can find her advice on various training and behavior issues on You Tube videos and her website at www.countryclubkennels.com—is straight forward about her love of dogs. “Dogs,” she said, “don’t want that much—food, a little attention, sleep, play—and they’re happy. And that’s the least you can do, because they give so much back.” And it goes without saying, the best, most valuable medium of exchange—when all is said and done—between humans and dogs is love.

Nammack started the Chance Foundation in 2000 after a heart-rending meeting with a dog named Chance whose time left in life could have been measured in minutes or at best hours, but who was rescued and saved by her and in turn inspired her to do more. Dogs up for adoption, their stories and their life and times show up on the Kennel website—their faces, their journeys are both touching and joyful, and for dog lovers, a treat.
Nammack leads us on a journey with her dogs, from her office, where a pug and the Beagle Pringles eye you with hope, to the pool, where the brown lab and the expectant Cocker with the tennis ball always in his mouth leap exuberantly into the pool and time again.

Through the spacious house we go, where sometimes geese fly overhead, and the orange cat comes out for a look, and off they all head to the pond, Nammack moving ahead like a pied piper, the dogs behind, in front and beside her. Pom Pom—who avoided the pool’s depth—leaps into the pond like a breaststroke swimmer, time and time again, then rolls in the grass, showing none of the vanity of a Pomeranian.

It strikes you then watching them all—Nammack, the handlers, young women and the dogs—that this is a happy site and sight. With the dogs leaping in, shaking off water, Nammack’s slacks turning muddy brown (“I knew I shouldn’t have worn white today”) there is no affectation here at all, everything—dogs and human, Carla Nammack and her angels, the dogs—are all in the moment, Kennel and Chance together.

For more information, please visit Carla Nammack’s website at CountryClubKennels.com.
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Head to Virginia for New Year’s Eve


This New Year’s Eve, Virginia towns near and far offer a variety of festivities perfect for kicking off 2015. From wine pairings and Champagne toasts to New Year’s Day brunch, the possibilities are boundless. Here’s a short guide to help you make the most of the holiday.

Salamander Resort & Spa (500 North Pendleton St., Middleburg) will offer couples’ packages as well as options for individuals. The culinary Masterpiece Dinner will allow you to celebrate the New Year with seven delicious courses and perfectly paired wines. Dinner will be followed by live music, a balloon drop and a Champagne toast. Dinner will be served at 6 p.m. and 9 p.m. and tickets cost $200 per person.

If your plans don’t include dinner, but rather brunch, Harrimans at Salamander Resort & Spa is serving up a sweet and savory selection along with a Bloody Mary and Mimosa Bar. Brunch runs from 8 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. and costs $59 per adult and $25 per child age 12 and under.

Goodstone Inn & Restaurant (36205 Snake Hill Rd., Middleburg) is providing a four-course meal with wine pairings and a midnight champagne toast, with seating as early as 5:30 p.m. and as late as 9:45 p.m. Tickets cost $145 per person.
Laporta’s Restaurant (1600 Duke St., Alexandria wants you to ring in the New Year with their late night buffet and standing cocktail party, running from 11 p.m. to 2 a.m., with live jazz playing between 8 p.m. and 1 a.m. Early dinner seating will run from 4 p.m. until 6:30 p.m., with a three-course meal costing $45.99. A later dinner includes four courses and costs $69.99, by reservation only. Before the midnight Champagne toast, Laporta’s is offering two winter cocktails – the Winter Spice Sangria, which includes fresh-cut mixed fruit marinated in wine, brandy and spices served as a spritzer and the Moscow Mule, consisting of Stoli vodka, Canton ginger liqueur and Goslings ginger beer – and one “mocktail,” the non-alcoholic Blood Orange Lychee Water. For reservations or more information, call 703- 683-6313.

Bastille (1201 North Royal St., Alexandria) is the perfect cozy and intimate space to spend the hours leading up to the New Year.
Bastille will fête New Year’s Eve with its “Reveillon de la Saint Sylvestre” dinner. The first seating from 5 to 6:30pm is a three-course prix fixe for $79, exclusive of taxes and gratuities, with wine pairings upon request. After the market surprise amuse bouche, guests will enjoy menu highlights including butternut squash risotto and parmesan broth; braised lobster in a curried coconut emulsion; bacon-wrapped rabbit loin; and coconut cake with caramelized pumpkin butter and curry ice cream. Taking things to the next level with the second seating from 8 to 10 p.m., guests will enjoy a four-course prix fixe for $99, or $139 with wine pairings, exclusive of taxes and gratuities. After the market surprise amuse bouche, guests may choose from notable dishes including steak tartare; seared foie gras; sautéed Wild Turbot filet; and roasted spiced pineapple marmalade almond cake. This meal will certainly set the bar high for a year of health, wealth and merriment.

Manhattan Magic at the Rainbow Room and the Algonquin

December 17, 2014

The Rainbow Room: the Ultimate Room with a View

The dance floor rotates at a snail’s pace. A ringside crowd, dressed to the nines, longs for the Count Basie Orchestra to begin. The anticipation is palpable. Under a chandeliered 23-foot dome, vintage wine and Champagne flow as if it is New Year’s Eve, not an ordinary weekday night.

We are seated in the Rainbow Room, 65 floors above Rockefeller Center, surrounded by one of the few vistas in the world with the power to intoxicate: the magical Manhattan skyline. The only embellishments to an uninterrupted 30-mile view are “curtains” of glittering crystals in prism shapes, suspended like icicles above each floor-to-ceiling window. The streets of Gotham below us may have potholes, trashcans and petty crime, but up here, close to the clouds, it’s heavenly.

Pinch me. I must be dreaming.

When this high-altitude hot spot closed its doors several years ago, I mourned the loss as if an old friend had passed. In this hallowed space, I sipped

my first glass of Dom Perignon and celebrated many a birthday. When news of its reopening – and major facelift – promised an update to its original 1930s-era style, revisiting soared to the top of my bucket list.

One push of the lone elevator button and we feel like astronauts rocketing into space. After ascending, nonstop, to the “Top of the Rock,” we begin with martinis at Sixty Five, the snazzy new cocktail lounge with unobstructed views.

Eye candy is everywhere. Massive displays of orchids accent walls of Italian silver travertine. Textured bronze mosaic tiles shimmer. A marble-topped rosewood bar, smoky gray mirrors, leather chairs and mother-of-pearl tables scattered under a faceted metallic-leaf ceiling make it hard to focus on ordering a drink.

Even the nibbles that accompany cocktails push the envelope. Warmed olives marinated in olive oil are infused with an exotic blend of harissa (North African chili paste), fresh thyme, lemon zest, toasted cumin and caraway and coriander seeds. I could devour the entire bowlful, but I fear spoiling my dinner.

Led by executive chef Jonathan Wright, formerly of the two Michelin-starred Le Manoir aux Quat’Saisons in Oxford and The Setai in South Beach, the culinary team has created a prix fixe menu featuring American and international fare ($175 per person plus tax and tip, alcohol not included). Judging from the selection and creativity, he is also inspired by the views.

In between exquisite courses – beet salad with goat cheese and crumbled hazelnuts, wild black bass with calamari and chorizo and decadent molten chocolate cake for dessert – we head to the dance floor, centered on the original, meticulously restored “Compass Rose.”

I think about the boldface guests who’ve waltzed through this very room: Barbra Streisand, Al Pacino, Elizabeth Taylor and Michael Jackson for starters. Happily, the crowd isn’t limited to older folks seeking to recreate the past. Young couples who weren’t even born during the Rainbow Room’s heyday seem equally excited to be here.

Some things are exactly how you remember them. Others, like the Rainbow Room, are better. But attempting to describe this surreal experience is a futile task. Just go. The sky’s the limit.

The Algonquin Hotel: Oh, if these walls could talk…
One step inside the Algonquin’s lobby and I swear I can feel the vibes of those who have come before me. Nearly 100 years ago, Dorothy Parker and a group of 20-something writers for Vanity Fair, Vogue and The New Yorker gathered here for lunch at the famous Round Table.

The daily exchange of ideas and wit set the standard for literary style. In fact, the ritual became so famous that people dropped by just to watch the members of the Round Table eat.

The New Yorker magazine was essentially created here. Fittingly, all guests receive a complimentary copy.
Perhaps trying to channel the same spirit I’m picking up, an artsy crowd mingles in the lobby. The high ceiling and dark-paneled walls create the ambiance of a private club rather than of a big city hotel. Off in one corner, a young Dorothy Parker-ish woman in a fitted red suit and vintage cloche holds the attention of her entourage. Two men in black turtlenecks huddle together on a red leather sofa, manuscript in hand.

Velvet chairs and leather sofas grouped around an eclectic mix of tables encourage conversation. So does the hotel’s policy of round-the-clock complimentary coffee and tea. Peering into the dining room, I see that the hallowed Round Table is empty, perhaps awaiting a new set of aspiring writers.

We check out the Blue Bar off the lobby, so named because years ago John Barrymore convinced the owner that actors look best in blue light. Though the Blue Bar has moved within the hotel, and been refurbished many times, blue lighting still permeates the space. One step inside and I expect someone to yell: “Lights, camera, action!”

While the Algonquin may be the oldest operating hotel in New York City, rooms and suites have every 21st-century amenity, thanks to a top-to-bottom renovation in 2012 when it became part of Marriott’s Autograph Collection. Bright contemporary furnishings, plush terry robes, thick duvets and fancy 350-count sheets are de rigueur.

The perk I like best? Complimentary WiFi. (I hate to get nickel-and-dimed for that, don’t you?)

Friendliness and pride prevails. Bellmen and waiters are walking history books and love sharing an abundant collection of hotel trivia. We learn that Orson Welles honeymooned here, Lerner and Loewe wrote “My Fair Lady” in a suite, Sinclair Lewis and William Faulkner were regulars and iconic female stars such as Angela Lansbury made the Algonquin their New York home – it was the first hotel to accommodate women traveling solo.

The place has plenty of performing arts history, too. Harry Connick, Jr., Diana Krall and Michael Feinstein were discovered here.
In an era when hotels are homogenized, for the most part, thank heavens the Algonquin has maintained its unique personality. The morning we depart, we take note of a few hotel room doors. Each one has framed words of wisdom written by a Round Table member.

The Dorothy Parker quote on our door sums up our stay perfectly: “I suppose that is the thing about New York. It is always a little more than you had hoped for.”
AlgonquinHotel.com
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You Haven’t Skied Until You’ve Skied Vail

December 5, 2014

Home to some of the most legendary back bowls in the United States, Vail, Colo., is a must-visit for the skiing enthusiasts in your family. While the quiet town does not have quite the grandeur of Aspen, locals brag that it has the best actual skiing of any resort in the country.

Vail is the nation’s single largest resort, with nearly 5,300 acres of skiable terrain, 10,000-plus-foot-tall peaks and the most groomed slopes of any resort in the world. It is no wonder that those who know say, “you haven’t skied until you’ve skied Vail.”

When arriving in Vail, you will notice the distinct Germanic feel embraced by the town. Many of the buildings have a Bavarian, chalet-like feel and embody a warm and welcoming atmosphere. Though, as in Aspen, you will find five-star restaurants, clothing boutiques and over 100,000 square feet of spa services spread across Vail’s Lionshead and Vail Village, you will also encounter a community that truly puts skiing first. Vail is a place where Olympic champions are bred and trained.

Stamped with European sentiment, Vail is the closest you can get to the Alps. But there’s an added bonus: Colorado Champagne Powder. The fluffy goodness will provide an extra cushion as you charge down the mountain through trees, over steep rock faces and into the immense backside. Though it takes some time getting used to, it will surely subdue your fear of careening down icy faces.

Vail’s slopes are comparable in breadth to those at the leading alpine resorts in Germany, Switzerland, France and Italy without being above the tree line. The average snowfall of nearly 350 inches will not be blown away as quickly as on the bald faces of St. Moritz.

In early February 2015, Vail and its sister resort, Beaver Creek, will host the FIS Alpine World Ski Championships. This will be the third time the two have hosted the celebrated event, and only the fourth time it has been held in the United States. Held every two years, the event only plays second fiddle to the Olympics. Racers will compete in the downhill, alpine combined, giant slalom and slalom. Olympic gold medalists Mikaela Shiffrin and Lindsey Vonn, both Vail’s own, are slated to compete alongside 600 athletes from 70 nations.

If you are looking to take your ski passion to the next level, and rub shoulders with the best in the business, keep Vail in mind. [gallery ids="118373,118364,118379" nav="thumbs"]

Murphy’s Love: Advice on Intimacy and Relationships

December 4, 2014

Dear Stacy:
My husband has a history of trauma. I won’t give specifics, but he had a rough childhood filled with all kinds of abuse. For the most part, this doesn’t affect him and our daily life, but I am starting to worry about how he disciplines our kids. He is really hard on them, especially our boys, when they do things that most boys do, like roughhousing and being aggressive about certain things. I want us to talk about our parenting and I know that we will have to talk about how his history is impacting our kids, but I worry about bringing it up. It’s not really something we’ve discussed very much and I don’t think he’s dealt with it much on his own. But when I see him get so angry with our kids, I worry that he might lose some control in the way he experienced as a kid. I don’t know what to do to prevent this.
–Worried and Watching

Dear Watching:

Thank you for writing this and giving me the chance to remind all of us (I’m talking to myself, here, too) that our childhoods absolutely do impact how we treat our own children. They do. Now, I’m not at all sure that’s what is happening in your home, but I want to reiterate that our childhoods impact how we parent.

I’m sorry that you are concerned about how Husband is disciplining your kids. That can be very frustrating, at the very least, and highly frightening, at the very worst. We have one defense against transmitting an abusive past into an abusive present: consciousness. When we become conscious of any negative messages we received in our childhoods (about what to expect from our relationships, about what to do when we feel angry, etc.), we are empowered to change the story with our own kids. Similarly, when we become aware of what worked in childhood – like when we felt most loved, or the ways we felt validated when we expressed ourselves – we are more inclined to value those things with our own kids.

So, going back to your situation, we know that Husband had a tough childhood. He may not be aware of how it influences the decisions he’s making about raising your kids, but I’ll guess he will be less defensive about looking at all of that if you gently approach him with a little curiosity about your own history (READ: this can’t be a lecture about how his Screwed-Up Childhood is harming your babies – seriously, that is not going to work). This needs to be a partnership process – and taking your turn first can make it easier for him to let down his guard.

Stacy Notaras Murphy (www.stacymurphyLPC.com) is a licensed professional counselor and certified Imago Relationship therapist practicing in Georgetown. This column is meant for entertainment only, and should not be considered a substitute for professional counseling. Send your confidential question to stacymurphyLPC@gmail.com.

Fall Weekend in Charlottesville

November 19, 2014

Charlottesville, Va., is a natural and cultural small-town treasure that is best enjoyed in the fall. The Charlottesville fall experience begins with the journey, a drive straight down Route 29. As you escape D.C.’s suburbs, 29 opens onto lush meadows, rolling farmland – now framed in fall colors – and, eventually, views of blue mountains.

Be sure to book a hotel near the historic downtown mall. The charming strip features a movie theater, an ice rink, countless trendy bars and restaurants and a large pavilion for free concerts. Maybe you’ll be lucky and cross paths with a big name like Bruce Springsteen, Passion Pit or Phoenix, all of whom have played the pavilion in recent years.

Best of all, Charlottesville’s downtown mall is open to pedestrian traffic only, making it a good destination for simply hanging out and enjoying the passing scene.

When you get to town, head for the University of Virginia. Take a self-guided tour and get lost in a maze of Thomas Jefferson’s wondrous neoclassical architecture, marked by white columns and red Virginia brick. With a Frisbee, you can make the most of the majestic Lawn, bordered by rustic dorm rooms constructed in the early 1800s. The rooms have fireplaces, but no restrooms or showers, so look out for students rushing back from the bathroom in the cold in their towels.

If you’re in Charlottesville on a Saturday this fall, check out the university’s prepsters in their coats and ties and their Lilly Pulitzer sundresses – which come out no matter the temperature – on Scott Stadium’s grass hill. UVA’s team has a so-so record this season, but the game is as much about people-watching as sport.

From there, you can take a quick drive up to Jefferson’s home, Monticello, a beautiful estate that overlooks the entire town, inspiring Charlottesville’s cult of the third president. The property offers lessons in history, mechanics, architecture and more, with a sumptuous mansion, slave quarters and exhibits featuring some of Jefferson’s self-made gadgets.

After learning about one of the country’s founding farmers, visitors can follow the Monticello Wine Trail, a string of vineyards and wineries that leads to the Blue Ridge Mountains. Taste some of the best reds and whites on the east coast with stops at Pippin Hill Farm and Winery, Blenheim Vineyards and even Trump Winery.

If you’re traveling to Charlottesville between Nov. 14 and 23, seek out the Cider Week specials, including cider cocktails at the Petit Pois restaurant, free tastings at the Market Street Wineshop and a workshop on making cider at home at Fifth Season Gardening. More information is available at www.ciderweekva.com.

Get down to Charlottesville before winter’s chill takes hold. For only a two-hour trip, there is much to behold in this charming and historic university town.

Quicken Loans at Robert Trent Jones


Certainly no stranger to hosting major events, having welcomed four President’s Cups, Robert Trent Jones Golf Club in Gainesville, Va., is busy readying itself for the Quicken Loans PGA event for summer 2015.

In a very close vote, as many members object to the lack of access to the course around tournament time, Congressional Country Club has decided to host the event in upcoming even years only. TPC Potomac at Avenel Farm will host in 2017. The PGA event was formerly known as the AT&T National and continues to benefit the Tiger Woods Foundation.

Having never even been to RTJ (Robert Trent Jones), I saw the tournament’s move as a great opportunity to learn more about the club. After a phone inquiry about the tournament, I was pleasantly surprised by an invitation to join the board member liaison for the event in a round of golf, along with the head professional and another long-time member. I cannot remember a recent visit to a golf club that I have enjoyed more.

On entering the club, the first thing I noticed was the mammoth glacier-white pile of sand being used to freshen up the traps for the tournament. Flags on lampposts announcing the dates came next. Expecting a beehive of activity inside the clubhouse, the wall of timeless serenity that greeted me was grabbingly comfortable. While the clubhouse furnishings, finishes, dining areas, bar, locker room and pro-shop were all architecturally immaculate, each of these areas reeked of usability.

Even with some construction happening on certain holes of the course, the round was absolutely picturesque, showcasing the October colors that Virginia is famous for, and I appreciated walking the course. The trap placements up the right side of the fairway on the first hole, a dog leg right par 4, were of a classical risk-reward design that are trademarks of Robert Trent Jones-designed courses. While water does not come directly into play on that many holes, the presence of Lake Manassas that can be felt on almost all of them gives off a non-threatening, almost meditative vibe.

The string of holes visible along the lake from the ninth green was an impressive view, and reminded me of the famous sequential holes at Teeth of the Dog in the Dominican Republic. The 11th hole par three over water could be considered a signature hole and was a favorite for me. The peninsula that made up the par 4 hole #13 was also a big favorite for me, with the changing colors of the trees highlighted against the lake on the walk down the fairway. I could have taken a nap in that fairway. There were not any bad songs on this album.

The quality of the course and the lack of design gimmickry left me with a clear feeling for where my game needed work, which is what a great course should do. The ending holes were a pair of par fours that delivered us to a stately and inviting view of the clubhouse, which is where we headed. The bar area has that perfect dark wood, comfortable chair, low table feeling that is a great place to digest a round of golf and tell stories.

There are no social memberships at RTJ, no pool and no tennis courts. It is all about the game of golf. A round here is designed to be something special for members and guests. In fact, a requirement of membership is that it be secondary to another golf club membership, ensuring that it stays a special treat.

This was the first time I really think I got a good understanding of what the negotiations between the PGA and a golf club are like when designing an event. Thanks go to board members Bill Craig and Mike Prentiss and to head professional Cary Sciorra for taking the time to explain the changes going on. Altering tee boxes, lengthening holes and updating sand trap designs are measures undertaken to ensure a fair fight. Like a boxing match, the exciting events are the bouts that go the distance. Nobody wants to watch pro golfers shooting fish in a barrel, and nobody truly wants to watch them hate their jobs either. The negotiators for the courses and the PGA are who make sure this doesn’t happen, and I will have a new appreciation for them moving forward.

I don’t think the PGA could have found a better venue to host its Quicken Loans event. While the next few years are spoken for, it would be nice to see the event eventually return to RTJ as a permanent fixture. What a welcome relief it is to watch a world-class golf club express humility in its approach to hosting an event and all the excitement about the game that it creates.

Wally Greeves is the golf columnist for the Georgetowner and is a member of the Golf Writers Association of America and can be reached at Wally@wandergolf.com.

Murphy’s Love: When Did We Get So Boring?


Dear Stacy:

*I am in my early 40s and have several friends from college who still live in the area. We get together every few months to have brunch or happy hour, and recently I have noticed that I am irritated by them and not interested in hearing more about their personal lives. I know how this sounds ­– I am being petty and rude – but I don’t understand why we have to go out and talk about the same things over and over again (e.g., kids, vacations, home improvements). Seriously, they go on and on about the most domestic, conventional issues. When did we get so boring? Why can’t we talk about our goals and dreams, like we used to in college? I try to float new conversation topics, but they fall like lead balloons. Is this what inevitably happens when you get old?*

– Bored by my Buddies

Dear Bored,

You sound like a lot of fun at brunch.

While I don’t necessarily think that aging inevitably translates into boring your friends with talk about gutter projects and piano recital reviews, sometimes that is what is going on in your life and you talk it through with your friends. The problem here, I think, is that you aren’t actually friends with these people anymore.
We do grow up after college and often that means we also grow apart. Though I don’t think this means you have to cancel all future get-togethers with College Crowd, you might do well to set your expectations a little lower. Take yourself back to those late-night discussions with your dorm-mates. You were talking about the issues of “that day” – including goals and dreams –because that’s what was on your plate back then. Today, the plate is crowded with other topics because that’s real life in your 40s.
Those people were your college compatriots mostly due to the circumstance of being assigned to the same dorm floor, class list or extracurricular team. As adults we get to choose our friends and – while it’s been documented that making new friends post-college is a challenging business – that means we can seek out people who have similar interests. So when you’re at the next goals and dreams meet-up, set a few brunch dates with similarly minded folks. And keep the old friends on the calendar as well. You might appreciate being a member of both groups, once you see what that feels like.

Stacy Notaras Murphy (www.stacymurphyLPC.com) is a licensed professional counselor and certified Imago Relationship therapist practicing in Georgetown. This column is meant for entertainment only and should not be considered a substitute for professional counseling. Send your confidential question to stacymurphyLPC@gmail.com.

Murphy’s Love: Engagement Pressure

November 6, 2014

Dear Stacy:
My girlfriend and I have been dating since college and living together for a few years. She wants to get married. I think she’s feeling pressure from friends who are getting engaged and starting families. I don’t necessarily not want to get married, I’m just not feeling the need to do it right now. She is trying not to pressure me, but it worries her (she wants to have kids, she is worried about her age) and that affects our relationship. Should I just do it even if I’m not ready?

–No Rush

Dear No Rush:

I really love your choice of words here, as I think you know I’m not about to say anyone should go ahead and get married, even if they’re “not ready.” But a realistic follow-up question from me would have to be, do you know why you’re not ready now? Is this something you’re working on in any way, shape or form? Or are you just sitting on the sidelines, watching Girlfriend serve her time as a bridesmaid and baby-shower hostess, and waiting for her anxiety to launch her off into the stratosphere so you don’t have to ask yourself any hard questions?

This is a very tricky situation for Girlfriend. She has spent (what sounds like) years in a relationship with you, reaching the (seemingly universal) stage where friends far and wide start making the big commitments to one another – moving in, getting engaged, having kids. She knows that she wants more than cohabitation, and she’s told you that. Now she has to walk the narrow line of waiting for you to make up your mind, while also not appearing anxious or needy in any way. But shouldn’t this kind of major life decision invite some kind of anxiety? Aren’t the big choices the kind that require conversation and communication? Why is this just your decision to make?

Yes, you say she wants to get married, and I am going to amend that sentence to say she knows she wants to get married to you. It’s your turn to decide if you want to get married to her. Do it soon. If you have a reason that is preventing your decision-making – one that is not about her and outside of her control, like a family history of divorce, or a fear of the Chicken Dance – get thee to a therapist and figure it out. If the reason is about her then, also, do not delay. Put your cards on the table because you are not helping her get what she wants if you know what you don’t want and you don’t tell her about it. That’s not fair. You say her worrying impacts your relationship – the answer isn’t for you to rush into something you don’t really want. The answer is for you to really do some self-exploration and figure out what you do want.

Stacy Notaras Murphy (www.stacymurphyLPC.com) is a licensed professional counselor and certified Imago Relationship therapist practicing in Georgetown. This column is meant for entertainment only, and should not be considered a substitute for professional counseling. Send your confidential question to stacymurphyLPC@gmail.com.