Between the Sheets

“It’s Not the Man in My Life, It’s the Life in My Man!”

Mae West was so right! It works for me, why can’t it work for him? In my going-on-seventy-years of life I’ve said a million times that I don’t feel my age, or rather, this is what add years can be like. I feel so fortunate to have found a man to spend my life with who feels and lives the same way.

My husband and I have been married for over seven years. And although we spend our weeks working in different cities, we spend almost every weekend together and once a month we’ll go away together for four or five days.

But the romance doesn’t stop there. It doesn’t matter if he’s flying to see me or if I’m flying to see him, he has surprised me with flowers all but one time when he had a work emergency and sent a limo to pick me up at the airport instead.

It goes without saying that the first night we spend together is “Date-Night” and I have never had to make a reservation. Sometimes I’ll make a special request if there’s something I’m really wanting to see or do, but most of the time I let him surprise me with a date idea, something he’s always been great at.

With any well planned date-night, things happen and situations change, but it’s important to go with the flow and focus on the objective: to spend time with your partner, to get to know them better, and to stay away from conflict-causing topics like the mortgage and the kids and what color to paint the bathroom.

Last week, for example, my husband flew in, made dinner reservations and ordered two movie tickets for our evening adventure. But having just got in from his flight, he was hungry, so we strolled down to Café Milano to have a mid-day light snack. We ordered up a light lunch and a bottle of wine, and proceeded to catch up on each other’s week.

Our one-hour trip to the café turned into a five-course six-hour date! It amazes me sometimes how, during the week when we’re just chatting on the phone about movers and renovation crews and travel plans, we communicate with each other like business people. But when we sit down next to one another and he puts his hand on my leg and looks into my eyes I’m reminded of how much I love that man.

…Think about what you can do put some life back into your life! Maybe you and your partner will start a weekly date-night; maybe you’ll indulge a fantasy together. Perhaps an impromptu couple’s vacation is in order. Talk to your partner and start kicking your love life back into high gear. Because your love life, just like the life of your body, needs to be kept healthy in order to survive.

Dr. Dorree Lynn, PhD, is a psychologist and life coach in Georgetown and author of Sex for Grownups: Dr. Dorree Reveals the Truths, Lies, and Must-Tries for Great Sex After 50. She is AARP’s Media “Sexpert” and has been featured on ABC, MSNBC, CNN, Fox News and VH1. Visit her website: DrDorreeLynn.com.