Part II: Is This How the First Term Ends, Mr. President?

So, now what do we do for fun?

It’s been almost a month since the election that gave President Barack Obama another four years and snuffed out Rep. Allen West, R-Fla.

To be fair, neither Mitt Romney nor Rep. West went out without a fight. Unfortunately, the fights occurred AFTER the election. West got a recount and to the wonderment of him and his, he still lost. While Romney’s support- ers clung to the early call on Ohio longer than necessary, their candidate did manage to con- cede, tweaking his victory speech a little. The rest is not much history—Romney reminded those of us who had not voted for him why we didn’t as he blamed the takers, unnamed but sinister forces in the Republican Party and other sundry people and things not named Mitt Romney for his defeat. The Republicans then commenced to throw Romney under the bus into a manhole marked political oblivion.

So, what’s making the president’s iPhone ring these day?

President Obama: “Hello?”

“Mr. President, this is John.”

“John . . . John, John, John. Oh, hello, senator. What can I do for you?”

“No, Mr. President. Congratulations, by the way, on winning the election. It’s John Boehner, the Speaker of the House.”

“I knew it was you. I’m just pulling your leg. Have you given any thought to raising taxes on the rich as I mentioned?”

It’s been almost a month since the of us wants to go over the cliff. Everybody election that gave President Barack hates that phrase. It’s like being thrown under the bus. It’s going to hurt everybody. Except the rich, of course, who can afford it. I realize that. That’s why we’re going to fiddle with the tax code, and, assuming everybody doesn’t find new ways not to pay taxes, why it will literally save billions. Honest. Of course, if they do find new ways it will be more like hundreds.”

“Fiddle all you want. We need tax reform, I agree. But we need to get the people that make the most to pay a little more. It’s good for the country. And, if we can come together on entitlements, why this could be the start of something good and lasting. Why, if we can fix this thing together, Mitch . . . I mean John . . . why this could be the start of a beautiful friendship. I’d be Bogey and you’d be Claude Rains in ‘Casablanca.’ ”

“Why can’t I be Bogey?”

“Because Bogey doesn’t cry . . . ever.” “Oh, well Mr. President, about that Susan Rice thing. I . . .”

“Can’t talk now. I’m going out to find me some middle class folks who are struggling and maybe have a beer with them. See you John.

Ring.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Mr. President, this is John.” “What, again. Come on, Mr. Speaker, I told you that I . . .”

“It’s Senator John McCain, sir.”

“Oh. Well, what can I do for you?”

“I don’t know about that Susan Rice. We are very disturbed after talking to her. I don’t think I can vote for her. I just don’t know.”

“What don’t you know?”

“What happened in Benghazi, Libya. Who she is . . . the store hours for Walmart.”

“Well, if you don’t know, who does? By the way, that was sweet, the way you guys are starting to stand up to good old Grover. I mean no disrespect, but it’s about time. Who is that guy, anyway? Didn’t he used to write for the Georgetowner? Is there a bus in his future?”

“But . . . Mr. President.”

“Catch you later, John. Loved you in “Argo.”

Ring.

“Hello.”

“Grover Norquist here. What have you What have you done to these people? Lindsay, McCain, Corker– they don’t want to keep the no-tax pledge?”

“Is your name John?

Click.

Ring.

“Mr. President. My name is Gary. I write for a living. I think that qualifies me as a strug- gling member of the middle class. Wanna buy me a beer?”

“John? Is this John?’

Click.