In Between the sheetsMarch 7, 2012
• March 7, 2012

Sometimes it seems like there?s nothing better than taking a trip with that special someone, spending the day seeing the sights, and finishing the night with some nice, no holds barred hotel sex. Often, our daily lives
get the best of us. We give our all at the office and then we give out by the time we get home. Sometimes we have to remove ourselves from the mundane day-to-day, get out of town for a bit, and just spend some quality time with someone we care about.

The benefits of hotel sex are numerous. Something about being in a new place, away from home and all the drudges of every day life, can have a positive impact on attitude, mental and physical health, and can improve the bond between partners. Taking a trip together also gives you an opportunity to work together? deciding on a destination, figuring out how to get there, coming to an agreement on what to do once you?re there and finally celebrating your love in a room that isn?t filled with piled up laundry and photos of your family watching
your every move.

Hotel sex also gives you an opportunity to switch your sexual style. It?s not every day that you can have sex on a hotel balcony overlooking the ocean, find a four poster hotel bed that you might consider being tied to or a fancy standup shower that allows you to fulfill a steamy fantasy, or simply a room in which you can be as loud as you want and not have to worry about facing the neighbors the next morning!

But sex isn?t the only reason to go on a short vacation. Don?t get me wrong, it?s a great reason?but not the only reason. The simple act of getting away together should be the purposeof your trip. For example, my husband and I both lead very busy professional lives. Even though our offices are next to one another, we
still often find it difficult to spend romantic time together. When work starts with 9 a.m. meetings and ends with 8 p.m. dinner functions, our ?us time? is few and far between. So we try to take a short trip at least twice a month?if not to have unadulterated intimacy than to just get out of town, see something new, and focus on one another without any distraction or interference. It reminds us why we love one another.

Day trips don?t have to be expensive. Hotels often have weekend and holiday specials. Also, check to see if your credit cards give you points that you can redeem for free hotel or airline tickets. There?s also the option of houseswapping with a friend, or simply staying at a friend?s house who might be out of town. You can even go camping. Ultimately, it?s the newness and the change of atmosphere that makes the difference!

*Dr. Dorree Lynn, PhD, is a psychologist and life coach in Georgetown and author of ?Sex for Grownups.? [www.DrDorreeLynn.com](http://www.drdorreelynn.com).*

Between the SheetsJanuary 12, 2012
• January 12, 2012

Greetings and welcome to 2012! I hope you have had a wonderful holiday and celebrated the New Year in your own unique savvy style. This is the 70th time I have ushered in a new year, though admittedly I can?t recall the earliest ones, and I can?t speak of the most fun ones.
At the start of this 2012, I have many wishes for all: the usual health, joy, fulfillment, prosperity and whatever your special family values might be. But this year, following on a year of so much upheaval and for many in economic pain, I especially wish for positive attitudes. As the saying goes, ?Don?t sweat the small stuff!? And, of course, reach out and remember to love. With or without sex, good relationships are best. Put effort into reaching out. We all need more connection.

Connections come in so many forms and can often be pleasantly unexpected. A young friend of mine attended a long-running holiday party in Florida hosted by two community icons … two artist-musician-hippy community icons. My friend related that he had finally discovered the secret to life. This excerpt is from an email he sent me the following day:

***The host was a musician who played several instruments, and his living room was set up to form a band stage. There were people seated along the wall and a makeshift VIP section on the upstairs walkway that looked down over the band. Six men, all pushing 60 or more, jammed out on guitars, drums, bass and piano, while one woman beat a set of conga drums. When the host, on electric guitar, broke into Stevie Ray Vaughan?s ?Pride and Joy? and started to sing the lyrics, ?Yeah, I love my baby … Heart and soul … Love like ours won?t never grow old … She?s my sweet little thang … She?s my pride and joy …? I looked up to see the hostess dancing her heart out, quickly followed by several other couples.***

***Dr. Dorree, I grew up with these people. I went to school with their daughter, and we?ve been friends all our lives. But when we were younger, we were convinced that our parents were crazy and that we, as a result of being raised by this village of hippy musicians and artists, were destined to be just as nuts. But there were three generations of people at that party, many of whom had been coming since the 1980?s, and every year it?s the elders who play the loudest, dance the hardest, and party the longest … there?s something uniquely amazing in their attitude toward life. Nothing slows them down. Here we thought they were crazy, but all along they?ve had the secret to true happiness.***

If my young friend can start to see a continuity of joy as evidenced by his elders, then we should all be able to learn a similar lesson. And he?s absolutely right: attitude is everything. Especially in a world where there are so many negative people and bad things happening every day, all around us, we can easily find ourselves miserable and unhappy. But attitude is something that requires a conscious, active effort — and, no, there is not an ?app? for that.

So I challenge all of my colleagues, friends, family and fans to just try. Think positively and remain open to new lessons in 2012. Maybe, just maybe, if we can learn to appreciate how others live, we can step out of our own judgments and just possibly make some small steps to understanding our rapidly changing world.

Between the Sheets
• July 26, 2011

“It’s Not the Man in My Life, It’s the Life in My Man!”

Mae West was so right! It works for me, why can’t it work for him? In my going-on-seventy-years of life I’ve said a million times that I don’t feel my age, or rather, this is what add years can be like. I feel so fortunate to have found a man to spend my life with who feels and lives the same way.

My husband and I have been married for over seven years. And although we spend our weeks working in different cities, we spend almost every weekend together and once a month we’ll go away together for four or five days.

But the romance doesn’t stop there. It doesn’t matter if he’s flying to see me or if I’m flying to see him, he has surprised me with flowers all but one time when he had a work emergency and sent a limo to pick me up at the airport instead.

It goes without saying that the first night we spend together is “Date-Night” and I have never had to make a reservation. Sometimes I’ll make a special request if there’s something I’m really wanting to see or do, but most of the time I let him surprise me with a date idea, something he’s always been great at.

With any well planned date-night, things happen and situations change, but it’s important to go with the flow and focus on the objective: to spend time with your partner, to get to know them better, and to stay away from conflict-causing topics like the mortgage and the kids and what color to paint the bathroom.

Last week, for example, my husband flew in, made dinner reservations and ordered two movie tickets for our evening adventure. But having just got in from his flight, he was hungry, so we strolled down to Café Milano to have a mid-day light snack. We ordered up a light lunch and a bottle of wine, and proceeded to catch up on each other’s week.

Our one-hour trip to the café turned into a five-course six-hour date! It amazes me sometimes how, during the week when we’re just chatting on the phone about movers and renovation crews and travel plans, we communicate with each other like business people. But when we sit down next to one another and he puts his hand on my leg and looks into my eyes I’m reminded of how much I love that man.

…Think about what you can do put some life back into your life! Maybe you and your partner will start a weekly date-night; maybe you’ll indulge a fantasy together. Perhaps an impromptu couple’s vacation is in order. Talk to your partner and start kicking your love life back into high gear. Because your love life, just like the life of your body, needs to be kept healthy in order to survive.

Dr. Dorree Lynn, PhD, is a psychologist and life coach in Georgetown and author of Sex for Grownups: Dr. Dorree Reveals the Truths, Lies, and Must-Tries for Great Sex After 50. She is AARP’s Media “Sexpert” and has been featured on ABC, MSNBC, CNN, Fox News and VH1. Visit her website: DrDorreeLynn.com.