Outer Banks, NC

July 19, 2011

Stretching down more than half of North Carolina’s coast, the Outer Banks offers a great deal of luxurious homes away from home, delicious eats, and activities best for anyone and everyone. Take a pick from the three major areas of this Mid-Atlantic beach getaway: Northern Beach, Hatteras Island, or Roanoke Island. Regardless of where you are—in the waters, along the shores, or farther inland, iconic destination is sure to satisfy all your summer beach fancies.

Where to Stay

If you’re looking for some real rest, don’t let your plans overlook a reservation at The Sanderling Resort & Spa in Northern Beach. You (and your pet) will sleep comfortably in the individually decorated inns, only to wake up to this beachside resort’s panoramic views of the ocean. Immediately after, step outside to enjoy a sun-shining day. Or, perhaps if you need a break from the sun, you will allow your body to self-indulge at the spa with treatments that use only the coastline’s best natural resources.

At the opposite end, The Castle B & B is another great villa located at Ocracoke Island (accessible by ferry only). These inns too, individually decorated with classic, antique pieces welcomes you for the coziest comfort. Enjoy the Castle’s setting enclosed by the quaint docks and serene waters.

What to Do

Besides fishing at Hatteras Islands Fishing Pier in Rodanthe or boating at Pirate’s Cove Marina in Manteo (Roanoke Islands), there are many other “things to do!” Nearby Pirate’s Cove Marina is the North Carolina Aquarium on Roanoke Island. It’s a great place for kids and families to learn and get a close-up of the Bank’s marine life.

If you’re an archetypal adventurist, take a dare at Jockey Ridge State Park’s tallest sand dunes in Nags Head (Northern Beach). You can sand-board or paraglide from the peaks of the sandy hills or take a self-guided hike in and out of the valleys. If the waters are what you’re looking for instead, try kayaking, windsurfing, or simply swimming with the current on the other side of the park.

For those looking for something less recreational, the “shop ‘til you drop” activity might be a better idea. Also located in Nags Had, Tanger Outlet has stores with designer brand names like Polo and Tommy Hilfiger.
Other Great Activities

Wild Horse Adventure Tours (Corolla, NC) – Take a guided tour on an open or closed-top vehicle or rent your own jeep and sightsee the wild horses of Corolla Beach.
Visit the Lighthouses (locations vary) – Each lighthouse has its own charm and history. The Cape Hatteras Lighthouse and Currituck Beach Lighthouse are open to climb, but the Ocracoke Lighthouse and the Bodie Island Lighthouse are not.

Where to Eat

Don’t let the name fool you, but Awful Arthur’s Oyster Bar is actually awfully delicious. Located in Kill Devil Hills for over 25 years, this stop is famous for their assortment of fresh seafood and thirst-quenching brews. Come out and enjoy the food and friendly community like one of the locals.

Make a second food stop at Tale of the Whale in Nags Head. This dining experience is promising with their principle, “To serve good food in ample portions with superior service in a comfortable setting.” Offering everything from cocktails, wines, and beer to clam chowder, pasta, and ribs, this restaurant offers an unforgettable experience for any individual, couple, or largely grouped families.

If you’re looking for a little more excitement and uniqueness, check out Mama Kwan’s. Not only does this grille feature a pallet of Hawaiian flavors and a medley of the island’s native aromas, but also live entertainment. Make sure to make it out here where a lunch and dinner experience is more than just a meal.
Other Great Restaurants:

The Pearl (Kill Devil Hills, NC) – An oceanfront, fine dining, French restaurant. If you want to avoid dining-in, call for a private chef.

Metropolis (Corolla, NC) – A tapas bar with a fusion of beverages; Offers a great ambiance especially for adults.
High Cotton (Kitty Hawk, NC) – A barbecue house faithful to Northeastern Carolina’s smoked flavors. [gallery ids="100227,106491,106489" nav="thumbs"]

Rehoboth Dining

July 13, 2011

For years, Rehoboth Beach has been a signature summer getaway for Washingtonians. From the beaches, to the boardwalk, to Funland, Rehoboth Beach offers tons of options for families visiting “The Nation’s Summer Capital.” More and more, Rehoboth is becoming known for its vast selection of restaurants. And we’re not just talking pizza or fried seafood.

The two-block stretch of Wilmington Avenue, adjacent to the beach, has exploded with new restaurants during the past year. Jenny Barger, of Rehoboth Beach Main Street, Inc. attributes the growth to a recovering economy. New restaurants, like Cypress and Tuscan Café, are in newly renovated spaces and are causing a stir in the neighborhood.

Bob Yesbek is a certified expert on restaurants in Rehoboth. On his website, RehobothFoodie.com, he reviews nearly every restaurant in the area. He gave us the scoop on what not miss on an eating pilgrimage to Rehoboth.

Back Porch Café has been a mainstay in the area for nearly 40 years. Located in a turn of the century house at 59 Rehoboth Avenue, this eatery includes a bar and not one, but two outdoor decks on its back porch in addition to its dining room. Their menu leans towards French cuisine, and features a wide selection of local seafood as well as lamb, veal and guinea hen. Prix-Fixe menus are offered on Thursdays, and Sunday brunch is also popular.

“The brunch is really popular, has been for years,” says Marilyn Spitz, co-owner of the restaurant.

The most popular item on their brunch menu is the Eggs Benedict. “How somebody can just so consistently poach so many eggs, and have each of them come out so perfectly is amazing,” says Yesbek.

The restaurant has a number of different rooms, which creates a charming, cozy atmosphere. In recent years, The Back Porch Café has lent its walls to local artists’ work and its relaxed ambiance has kept families coming back for generations.

The Back Porch Café is very good for families or groups celebrating a special occasion. If you’re looking for a little more excitement, your next destination is only a few blocks away at the Blue Moon.

Located at 35 Rehoboth Avenue, Blue Moon is a Rehoboth Beach landmark. It’s known for its late night entertainment and serves breakfast, lunch, and dinner until 1 a.m. The menu includes a long list of steak and chops, as well as short ribs and rockfish. The atmosphere is a little more raucous, a bit louder overall, but the food is divine.

At night, the Blue Moon is a great launch pad for a night out. The restaurant’s dance floor gets hopping nightly, and there’s live entertainment six nights a week.

If you’ve come to Rehoboth for a romantic retreat, Eden may be the place for you.

Eden is highly recommended by Yesbek. “They tend to be a little bit more daring with their dishes than Blue Moon will tend to be. At Eden, you’ll get a little more unusual preparation, and a lot of people like it. The chefs there will take a few more risks in coming up with unusual combinations.” For the sophisticated palette, Eden offers a selection of artisanal cheeses and flatbreads.

Eden’s subdued atmosphere lends itself to more formal gatherings. Where the Back Porch can air on casual, and Blue Moon on the in-your-face, Eden is very quiet and romantic. If you are planning a romantic evening, Eden is definitely your best bet.

Henlopen City Oyster House opened last June in a beautiful location at 50 Wilmington Avenue. With floor to ceiling windows and a clean, chic interior, “The Oyster House” is a favorite among locals.

“Love the Henlopen City Oyster House,” says Amanda Ryan, Rehoboth realtor and native Delawarean. “Food is delicious, the staff is very friendly, and the owners did a great job with the ambiance. It is always packed so obviously they are doing something right.”
Co-owner Joe Baker says that the restaurant is popular for its beer nights. No surprise, given that they have nine beers on draught, and over 50 more on their menu. The restaurant also features eight different types of oysters.

According to Baker, the restaurant emphasizes using local oysters and food. “Our chef is a local farmer, so we use a lot of local farms. We like to keep the menu as fresh as we can.”

Obviously, there are many options to choose from, but not everybody can eat out every single night. For those entertaining or cooking at home in Rehoboth, Nourish Specialty Foods Market, Cafe & Catering offers gourmet foods and a great selection of artisanal cheese. Founders Deberah Sutter and Lois Pellegrino work to promote healthy eating and organic, local, sustainable agriculture. Their goal is to use organic or chemical-free local produce, meats and dairy products from small independent farms where possible.

There are so many restaurants in such a small area. People come from all around the Mid-Atlantic. Chefs must be distinctive to stand apart. Ryan puts it like this, “Restaurants see people from many of the hottest metro areas, Philly, DC, Baltimore, and we’re seeing more and more from New York and New Jersey. You never know who you could be cooking for!”

Events for Foodies in Rehoboth
June 26
Dining Out For Life At The Beach
Participating restaurants will donate 33 percent of your bill to AIDS Delaware.

October 2
Ninth Annual Celebrity Chefs Beach Brunch
Top area chefs gather for a foodie festival at the Rusty Rudder in Dewey Beach, DE. Proceeds Benefit Meals on Wheels.

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Health Blogs 101: Where to go for the Best Recipes and Advice


101 Cookbooks
101CookBooks.com

101 Cookbooks was created by Heidi Swanson in 2003, a San Francisco based photographer, cookbook author and designer, who shares recipes that intertwine with her life, travels and interests. Heidi was inspired to begin the blog when realized that although she owned over 100 cookbooks, she was always using the same recipes. So she decided it was time to stop buying and start cooking. Since then, 101 Cookbooks has won numerous awards, such as the 2006 and 2007 Food Blog of the Year and has been featured in newspapers such as the Boston Globe and New York Times. With a focus on natural, whole foods and ingredients, 101 Cookbooks has recipes for those with vegan or gluten-free diets as well as recipes for those who love desserts and chocolate. It even has recipes perfected for every season. Here is a great summer dish that puts a spin on classic Macaroni.

Macaroni Salad (serves enough for a crowd or potluck)
1 pound elbow macaroni
1/4 cup / 60 ml extra virgin olive oil
4 cups thinly sliced green onions {~3-4 bunches}
3 medium cloves garlic, chopped
fine grain sea salt
lots of freshly ground black pepper
zest and juice of one lemon
1/3 cup / 2 oz grated Parmesan
4 big handfuls arugula
1 large apple, diced

Cook the macaroni in a large pot of well-salted water per package instructions. Set aside at least 1/2 cup / 120ml pasta water. Then drain pasta and set aside.

In the meantime, heat the olive oil in a large skillet until hot. Add most of the green onions, all of the garlic, and a pinch of salt. Cook until the onions soften, and the garlic begins to take on some color, about 4 minutes. Remove from heat and let cool for a couple minutes.

Use a hand blender or food processor to puree the green onion mixture along with 3/4 teaspoon salt, 1/4 teaspoon black pepper, zest of the lemon, half the lemon juice, and the reserved pasta water. Puree and taste. The green onion flavor should be assertive. Stir in the Parmesan.

Combine the macaroni with the green onion sauce in a large bowl. Toss well. Add the arugula and most of the apple and toss again. Taste, and add more pepper, salt, or lemon juice if needed. Serve topped with the remaining apple and green onion.

Prep time: 10 min – Cook time: 10 min

A Weight Lifted
FitWoman.com/Blog

A Weight Lifted is the blog of Green Mountain at Fox Run, the country’s first and only residential weight loss program exclusively for women. Contributing bloggers include two registered dietitians (RDs), a psychologist, executive chef, sous chef and managing director of the program. The blog reflects their combined vision on what it takes to reach a healthy weight by a balance between nutrition and fitness. Putting an emphasis on letting go of unhealthy obsession and pressure attached to dieting, this blog offers not only healthy recipes, but advice for how to conquer negative feelings about weight. Here’s a recipe by Chef Lisa for the Green Mountain Brownie that is served at the healthy weight loss spa. Just goes to show, a little indulgence here and there can actually be healthy.

Green Mountain Brownie (serves 16)
1/2 cup unsalted butter
1/2 cup canola oil
3/4 cup cocoa powder
1 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1 pint sugar
4 large eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Prep a 9 inch square pan (or similar size) with non-stick spray. Metal pans allow for faster baking than glass does.

In a small pan, melt the butter over low heat. Remove from heat and carefully stir in canola oil and cocoa powder. Set aside and allow to cool.

In a bowl, combine the flour, salt, and baking powder. Set aside.

In the bowl of a mixer, using the paddle attachment, combine the sugar, eggs, and vanilla until creamy. Stop the machine, add a third of the flour mixture, then mix. Stop again, add half of the butter mixture, then mix. Stop again, add half the remaining flour mixture, then mix. Stop, add remaining butter, mix, then stop, add final flour addition, and mix until just barely combined. Pour into prepared pan and bake for 20-40 minutes, or until done enough for you.

Rebecca Thinks
RebeccaScritchfield.wordpress.com

Rebecca Scritchfield is a registered dietitian, credentialed nutrition therapy professional and American College of Sports Medicine certified Health and Fitness Specialist. She also teaches sport nutrition at George Washington University and has a D.C. based private practice for professional, aspiring and everyday athletes. Rebecca Thinks is where she shares her opinion on behavioral issues related to staying healthy and happy. The blog also shares her favorite recipes; my favorite was this one for a delicious, healthy fish taco.

Healthy and Light Fish Tacos Recipe (serves 8)
Mango Salsa
1 mango, chopped
1/2 jalapeno, seeded and diced
1/4 onion (red preffered, any onion OK)
Juice of 1 lime, zest of 1/2 lime

Mix ingredients in a bowl and refrigerate.

Zesty, Creamy Topping
1/2 cup plain lowfat yogurt, strained (Place a paper towel in a strainer and add the yogurt. This helps give the yogurt a thicker consistency like soft cheese. It needs about 2-3 hours in the refrigerator and you can skip this step if you don’t have the time)
1/2 tsp chili powder, taco seasoning, or fajita seasoning

Stir and refrigerate.

Fish
About 2-3 pounds white fish (we used tilapia)

Season with salt and pepper. Squeeze juice from 1/2 lime over fish. Broil or grill on low to medium heat for 6-8 minutes (don’t over do it or your fish will be tough).

Spicy Black Beans
One 14 oz. can of black beans, rinsed and drained, and placed in a saucepan
1/2 onion, diced and 2-4 cloves garlic, diced (sautee both in 1 tsp olive oil and add to bean)
1 tsp cumin and 1 tsp chili powder

Mix together and heat on low for about 8 minutes.

You will also need…
Store bought tortillas (we used a low carb, high fiber tortilla with about 100 calories and 10g fiber per serving)
1 cup cabbage, shredded (green or purple – whatever looks good)

Making the Taco
Heat the tortilla in a toaster oven, microwave or dry pan for a few seconds until warm. (You’ve come this far, why not?) Place about 2-3 ounces of fish in the middle of the taco. Top with 2 tablespoons mango salsa, 2 tablespoons black beans, small handful of cabbage (cabbage is healthy and low calorie so use as much or as little to your liking), and 1 tablespoon of the creamy topping. [gallery ids="100230,106511,106504,106508" nav="thumbs"]

Sex Over Fifty

July 7, 2011

Sex Shop Shy?

I completely understand that some people just can’t bring themselves to visit sex shops. They can at times seem dirty, intimidating and confusing, even though they house some of the greatest resources and tools available for increasing sexual pleasure. Fortunately for all of us there are alternatives to the neighborhood sex-tool-shed.

Art Galleries and Museums
Typically we tend to think we’ve only recently become a mainstream sex-minded society, but take one stroll through some select classic Asian and Indian art exhibits and you’ll find that the real “free sex” revolution happened thousands of years ago. Thanks to talented painters and sculptors we have the opportunity of experiencing their sexual proclivities through the eyes of intelligent art connoisseurs. My all-time favorite is of course the Kama Sutra, the ancient Indian Hindu text that is an artistically illustrated handbook for great, pleasurable sex.

Pet Shops
Do you fancy the idea of a collar and leash for you or your partner? Why spend oodles of money on studded collars and other goodies at the sex shop when you can peruse the aisles of the local pet store? A secret-mission trip through the neighborhood pet store, either alone or with a partner, can be exhilarating and fun! There are tons of toys, restraints, and other goodies and the best part is that nobody will know who you’re really shopping for!

The Internet
Don’t be afraid to use the Internet to search for online sex tips and toys. Naturally, be weary of clicking on ads or pop-ups that might give you a virus (even safe-online sex is important!). If you’re concerned about privacy, most browsers have a “private” or “safe” browsing option that doesn’t save information on your computer. And when it comes to paying by credit card you’ll find convenient pre-paid credit cards on those in-store gift card walls at your local pharmacies and grocery stores.

Do It Yourself
If you want to get creative and do a few things at home, here are some great ideas for those that like to DIY or need a quick idea:
• Cut open an old pillow for some flirty feathers (turn off the ceiling fan first!)
• Skip fruit-flavored lotions and opt for some pureed fresh fruit instead (non-acidic only!)
• Whipped cream never fails (unless your partner is lactose intolerant)
• Ice cubes can make it hot (while keeping it cool)
• Old belts and scarves make great restraints (and whips)
• Even if you can’t wear 4 inch heels anymore, keep a pair for a bed fantasy…they can’t hurt you when you’re lying down!

Dr. Dorree Lynn, PhD, is a psychologist and life coach in Georgetown and author of Sex for Grownups: Dr. Dorree Reveals the Truths, Lies, and Must-Tries for Great Sex After 50. She is AARP’s Media “Sexpert” and has been featured on ABC, MSNBC, CNN, Fox News and VH1. Visit her website: DrDorreeLynn.com.

Annapolis

June 29, 2011

Although Annapolis may be best known for being the home of the U.S. Naval Academy, the serene, bayside town is also the perfect location for a quick and easy getaway from the hustle and bustle of D.C. No more than an hour’s drive away (around 32 miles), this charming town is a mere hop, skip and jump from the city. Unique shops, restaurants and bars line the main street and quiet B & B’s are within walking distance, making it easy to enjoy the downtown social scene before escaping into the cozy solitude of a old-fashioned inn.

Where to Stay

Chez Amis Bed & Breakfast is a quaint four-bedroom B&B that was once a corner grocery store and is located in the heart of historic Annapolis. Neighboring The U.S. Naval Academy, St. John’s College, the City Dock and State Capital, there is no need for a car when everything from the historic landmarks to the entertainment of Main Street is within walking distance.

There is also The Annapolis Inn, a historic landmark townhouse poised on prestigious Prince George Street right downtown.

Where to Eat

Best known for their customized all-you-can-eat crab feast package, Cantler’s Riverside Inn offers farm-grown sweet corn, spiced shrimp, French fries, coleslaw, beer, wine and of course… crabs. So stop by with your friends and family while sailing the Cheaspeake Bay or sightseeing in downtown Annapolis. With exceptional service, a bright, contemporary interior, and an extensive menu featuring buffets for kids and adults, Buddy’s Crabs and Ribs restaurant is the perfect stop for a relaxing fine dining experience.

What to Do

Shopping is also a main attraction in Annapolis. Specializing in unique hand-woven rugs with outdoor or nautical patterns and themes, Claire Murray offers special keepsakes or gifts from your time spent in Annapolis. Easy Street Gallery was founded in 1979 by Marsha and Terry Moore. This American craft gallery is a family business that offers beautiful and vibrant glasswork, wall art, paperweights, pottery and more from over 300 established and emerging artists.

Indepedence Day Fireworks Cruise is coming up soon and offers a perfect way to spend the holiday on the Chesapeake Bay. The cruise runs July 4 from 7:30 to 9:30 p.m. Tickets are $45 for adults and $25 for children. Another unique Annapolis attraction is the Annapolis Carriage Ride where you can tour in style on a vintage carriage ride and learn about the town’s 300 years of history.

If you’re more of a hands-on person, you can learn how to sail at the Annapolis Sailing School where they provide a safe, enjoyable introduction to recreational sailing for the whole family.
But of course, this is Annapolis after all, and your trip wouldn’t be complete without touring the U.S. Naval Academy. Take a public or historical walking tour to experience life on the Yard.

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Lexington


Quaint shops, hotels and restaurants line the streets of downtown Lexington, which teems with local flavor and small-town charm.

Where to Stay

Many of the nearby hotels and inns offer good deals and are walking distance from the main drag, including the Hampton Inn Con Alto. For those looking to be right in the middle of everything, the Sheridan Livery Inn is located right on Main Street and offers quiet, spacious rooms for a reasonable price. Guests and non-guests can enjoy a nice lunch or dinner in the Livery’s restaurant, or head across the street to some of Lexington’s most popular restaurants.

Where to Eat

The menu at the Bistro on Main features creations made with local produce. One can enjoy pizza and pasta accompanied by atmospheric piano music at Tuscany, or for a more casual experience, hang out at Macado’s and choose from over 60 different sandwiches. A few blocks away, Blue Sky Bakery is another local lunch favorite for its sandwiches served on bread made fresh daily. The Red Hen is one of Lexington’s more upscale dining options serving dishes that are a bit pricier, but made with fresh, local ingredients. The menu at Brix also features local foods, but serves them tapas-style, perfect for small group dining whether inside the restaurant or out on the patio.

Visitors can also enjoy wine tasting and tours of the Rockbridge Vineyard and the Lexington Valley Vineyard.

What to Do

The shops downtown are a collective cache of local treasures, from the tchotchkes and home accents at Pumpkinseeds to paintings and jewelry created by residents of Lexington and the surrounding Rockbridge area sold in art shops throughout the city. If shopping isn’t your thing, take a horse-drawn ride with Lexington Carriage Company and learn more about local history. After dark, visitors can relive the past in the present on a candlelit ghost tour through the city in the company of Civil War heroes Robert E. Lee, Stonewall Jackson and Lee’s horse Traveller.

Just a short drive away from the downtown area, Hull’s Drive-In offers double features in the evenings for only $6, which you can enjoy from the comfort of your own car. Also on the outskirts are the Natural Bridge, an all-natural rock formation and caverns, or Foamhendge, a man-made foam replica of Stonehendge – something fun and quirky you don’t see everyday. The nearby Boxerwood Gardens and Chessie Trail are perfect for relaxing nature strolls after an exciting day of shopping and sightseeing.

If the timing is right, visit the Virginia Horse Center for horse shows, dining, shopping and other events hosted throughout the summer season. The Lime Kiln offers a unique theater experience and hosts concerts and local theater productions in its outdoor amphitheater.

The Blue Ridge outdoors offers beautiful scenery and fun hiking trails for the outdoorsy and the first-time adventurers alike, just minutes outside of historic downtown Lexington. Whether you climb the boulders of Devils Marbleyard or swimming in Panther Falls, you’ll get in a great day hike and perfect photo opportunities.
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Orange County, Virginia


A short two-hour drive southwest of D.C. lays the hidden treasure of Orange County, Va., waiting for weekenders to enjoy the quietness of the hills and the warmth of the sun. Noted for quaint bed and breakfasts and scenic, historic sites, Orange County is a great local escape.

Where to Stay

The Inn at Willow Grove in Orange, Va. greets visitors with great white columns, a cream-yellow exterior decorated with black shutters and lush gardens. Each room is unique in design, but incomparable in comfort. Personal butler services and five star dinning give the feeling of pure luxury, yet the elegant comfort allows visitors to relax just like they were at home.

A charming house with luxurious details and an atmosphere for romance, Chestnut Hill Bed & Breakfast is a great escape into Virginia’s beautiful countryside. With evening wine and cheese events and a library stacks tall with books, this B&B has the lavish amenities to take your weekend getaway to the next level.

Other Great Places to Stay

Keswick Hall Hotel: a grand and lavish hotel right in the heart of Monticello.
Clifton Inn: a charming southern place to relax and enjoy the countryside.
Inn at Westwood Farm: a historic inn rich with Civil War history and southern comfort.

Where to Eat

The menu at Silk Mill Grille prides itself on its American cuisine “featuring fine sandwiches, poultry, seafood, steaks, and spirits.” Black leather booths line walls decorated with odds and ends from the Virginia countryside, combining the luxury of the old south with the elegance of contemporary dining.

Bringing the French countryside to the Blue Ridge Mountains, Restaurant Pomme with Chef Gerard Gasparini serves the finest traditional French brunch, lunch and dinner. The warmly decorated dining room with traditional French accents ensures that the experience is full of French style and atmosphere.

Other Great Places to Dine

Marshall Farms Corner: a family fun deli made with farm-fresh ingredients.
Double D’s Ice Cream Parlor: a fun place to drop in for a sweet treat.

What to Do

The home of Former President James Madison, Montpelier Estate is a must-see location in Orange County, Va.. From outdoor cooking demonstrations and historic sites, to Civil War restorations,and museum exhibits, visitors can spend a full day learning about the history of Montpelier and the area.

Dating back to the beginning of the 19th century, Barboursville Vineyards entertains with excellence, highlighting their award-winning wine Octagon. Come enjoy the grapes in the vineyard, the food at the Palladio restaurant, or the calmness of the 1804 Inn.

Other Attractions in the Area

Castle Hill Cidery: opening in July 2011, a great alternative to wineries.
Lake Orange: for the outdoorsman, the lake offers family fun all day in the sun.
Civil War Trails: another great outdoor adventure full of history and sunshine.
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Murphy’s Love: Advice on Intimacy and Relationships

June 28, 2011

Dear Stacy:

I am a mother of two kids – 6 months and 2.5 years old. I stay home with the kids, always have wanted to be a SAHM, and for the most part, it’s very good all around. But I keep feeling jealous of my husband’s “freedom” when he goes to work, particularly when he’s sent off on a work-related trip. He says he misses us all, but I can’t believe he’s not at least a little bit happy to have a full-night’s sleep, getting to wake up when he wants to, seeing a new place, and planning his day around whatever he wants to do. I am happy to be home with my kids, but I miss the freedom of getting to take a trip or see a movie when I want to. He offers to take the kids some weekend afternoons, but when I return home I find complete chaos and it takes a good day or two for things to get back to normal. I’m snapping at him, doubting his sincerity when he tells me how much he misses us – I’m just reluctant to believe he’s not secretly happy with his end of the bargain.
–Feeling unequal in Northwest

Dear Unequal:

So what if he is “secretly happy with his end of the bargain?” Would that information actually change anything? From the tone of your letter, I can surmise that Husband might feel guilty about that particular perk of being the sole breadwinner. Can you ask yourself why he wouldn’t want to admit that part to you? Maybe because you might use it against him while ignoring what’s really going on here: the fact that your arrangement might not be 100 percent working for you right now.

We’ve all heard the adage that marriage isn’t fair all the time – neither is parenting, making a living or life in general. If this period of dissatisfaction is just a blip on the radar screen of an otherwise happy life, I urge you to let this go. If, on the other hand, you are struggling with some long-term challenges of balancing his work with yours, let’s take a closer look at that part.

It sounds like you might be feeling like a prisoner to your daily routine. That’s the unfortunate part of being a Good Mother – you know that a regularly-scheduled day makes for happier, healthier, and, blessedly, sleepier kiddos. Just because this cycle is good for them, doesn’t mean you won’t feel chafed from time to time – particularly when Husband is texting you from the latest Tony Award-winning corporate-sponsored Broadway musical. Or Austin’s Restaurant Week. Or (Lord help him if he does this) the beach.

I sympathize that there may be chaos when you return from an afternoon out, but am wondering what yardstick you’re using? Is Husband really letting them set up the sprinkler inside and shred the drapes, or is he just choosing to do things differently than you would? If it’s the latter, let’s take a deep breath and remember what you’re getting in return. The opportunity to be child-free for a few hours just might come at this cost. But if Husband truly lets the kids go wild, perhaps you need to talk about how this makes you feel when you get home. This is a person who keeps telling you how much he misses being part of the family when he’s away – maybe he’d been open to hearing what being a part of the family actually looks like to you.

Dear Stacy:

I am the mother of a 4-year-old. My husband and I are in negotiations about having a second child, but we’re both torn. We had the typical life-explosion that happens when DINKs [double income/no kids] decide to become parents, and have just recently hit our stride in terms of taking care of ourselves, our relationship, and being good parents to our adorable little one. I always thought I’d have more kids, but on some level it seems totally impractical. I’m just now feeling better about my career decisions, and another maternity leave feels like it might be devastating. Then again, when I see friends with new babies, I feel this aching inside. Do you make a life-changing decision based on aching inside? My husband seems to be just as on the fence as I am, so I guess we’re lucky that no one is feeling pressured either way. We just need some advice.
-Going for Two? in Glover Park

Dear Going for Two:

Ah, you’ve emerged from the Terrible (Terrifying? Troublesome? Treacherous?) Toddler Years and are now enjoying predictable sleep, fewer temper tantrums, and the typically wide-eyed wonder of the 4-year-old. Why on earth would you want to go back to measuring your life in 2 hour feeding increments? Why would you want to deal with more diapers?

Well, because you always thought you would have more children. And because you love babies. And because you know so much more now and think you might be able to actually enjoy the infant period this time around. I’ve heard these arguments numerous times in my office…and in my own home…so I completely understand. Many of us wrestled for years with the initial question, “when is it time to have a baby?” only to be caught off guard by the logical follow-up: “Should I have another?”

It’s great that you and Husband are both on the same, albeit confused, page. I’d recommend that you look back to your decision to have Baby #1. What was that experience like? Were there lightning bolts and sirens urging you onward (unusual)? Were you feeling unsure, even as you were trying to get pregnant (normal)? Did you have “yes” days and “no” days? I’ve encouraged clients to take some of the pressure off by taking their daily temperature: “Do I want to have another baby today? Yes or No.” Mark your calendar with the results and then set the discussion aside. Give yourself a few months and then take a look at the data. If you have more Ns or Ys and you still feel disappointed, your gut in that moment might reveal what you really want. There are many other ways to come to a conclusion about this, but as in all big choices, overthinking rarely gets us where we want to be.

BOX:
Stacy Notaras Murphy is a licensed professional counselor and certified Imago Relationship therapist practicing in Georgetown. Her website is TherapyGeorgetown.com. This column is meant for entertainment only, and should not be considered a substitute for professional counseling. Please send your relationship questions to stacy@georgetowner.com.

Be the Player at the Polo Match

June 20, 2011

With the summer season here, what better way to embrace the D.C. social scene than by attending a polo event? Never been? Well here is a quick how-to guide on breaking into the polo scene and becoming a polo-ite with ease and class.

Origins and Rules of Polo

Polo originated in Northern Persia around 600 BCE, but became the game we know today in Northern India in the 19th century. The word polo comes from the Indian word “pulu” which is the name of the wood from which the ball was made. Polo can be played either on a large grass field or in an enclosed area. A full game consists of six chukkas, or seven and a half minute long periods of play. Players score goals, located at opposite ends of the field, and after each goal, teams switch sides. The four players per team are designated by their jersey numbers. Player number one is offense and player two covers both offense and defense. Jersey number three is saved for the best player: the quarterback and the playmaker. Player four defends by keeping the ball up field with long, accurate hits. There are three-minute breaks between each chukka, and a five-minute halftime for divot stomping.

Stomping Divots

The best part about being a spectator at a polo match is that you get to participate and socialize with the players. During halftime, spectators get to stomp the chipped away pieces of turf back into the field. Players frequently join their spectators for divot stomping, taking time to entertain and mingle.

Polo Fashion

Summer fashion will follow you to the polo field. Base your outfit on a whimsical romantic flirting with a preppy style, and lots and lots of white. White linen shorts, white structured blazers, white crop dresses, white ruffle blouses… White is in! Show off your summer legs with some gold wedges; heels will only sink into the turf and wedges will keep you walking above the ground. To compliment the white, accessorize with leather and gold. Knee high riding style boots are always a classic, and gold statement jewelry will sparkle in the sun. To keep the sun out of your eyes and on the polo ponies, hats are a must; fedoras and dramatic floppy hats will get the job done. If you need some color in your fashion life, mix in a preppy color piece like a navy polo or a pastel pleated skirt. A great pair of sunglasses that compliment your face will complete your outfit.

Happy Polo Hour

Many polo-ites never leave their seat without their champagne flute, but there are more than just bubbles to tickle your nose on the sidelines. Mimosas and Bellini’s are a classic cocktail and a tasty alternative. Watermelon mojitos are breaking out in the summer happy hour scene as the new ‘it drink’: something fresh to keep you cool. However, nothing tops the Polo Cocktail: one ounce gin, one tablespoon of lemon juice, and one teaspoon of orange juice. This drink sends the message that you are a serious divot-stomping polo-it.

Players and Ponies

For the time in between the chukkas, chat about the important part of polo: the ponies and the players. Nicholas ‘Nic’ Roldan, grew up in the life of polo. His father played for the Sultan of Brunei in Southeast Asia. Nic is currently the captain of Prince Harry’s charity polo team Sentebale, and a model for Wihelmina Modeling Agency. According to the World Polo Tour Player Rankings, the current leading polo player is Juan Martin Nero from Argentina. His 2011 highlights include a U.S. Open Championship and Finalist at the USPA Gold Cup. Of course there is the beautiful Nacho Figueras, model and top ranked polo player. He plays on the Black Watch Polo Team and frequently models for Ralph Lauren’s Black Label. 2010’s American Polo Horse Associations top ranking pony was Dolfina Noruega, with winning performances in the U.S. Open, Pacific Coast Open and many other shows.

D.C. Polo

Great Meadows Polo Club is only an hour away and offers the perfect atmosphere for the up-and-coming polo-ite. Every Saturday night, weather pending, Great Meadows presents Twilight Polo, open to spectators to wine, dine, and enjoy an evening of polo. They also host weekly summer events such as Girls Night Out and Latin Dance Night. From lists of events to social memberships and even polo lessons, Capitol Polo Club is a great place to start on the polo scene. Located about an hour away from Georgetown, Capitol Polo sports games that members and public can attend.

Great Meadows Polo Club: The Plains, VA, GreatMeadowPoloClub.com

Capitol Polo Club: Poolsville, MD, CapitolPolo.com

Polo Events

These are some upcoming events in the D.C. area to start your polo summer off. Contact the Polo Club for more information about each event.

Great Meadows Polo Club

– Twilight Polo: Every Saturday Night

– Capital Hospice Cup/College Night: June 18

– Disco Fever: June 25

– Military Appreciation Night: July 2

– Girls Night Out: July 9

– Hawaiian Beach Night: July 16

Capitol Polo Club

– Commus Sky Polo Tournament: June 18-19

– 4 Goal Club Tournament: June 25-26

– BBQ & Fireworks: July 4

– Eastern Circuit Constitutional Cup: July 9-10

– USPA 2 Goal Master Cup: July 16-17

SRH
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The Upperville Horse Show

June 16, 2011

When Colonel Richard Henry Dulany organized the first Upperville Show in 1853, the program listed two classes: one for colts, the other for fillies. 158 years later, the Upperville Colt and Horse Show spans seven days and includes over two thousand horse and rider combinations, 28 awards and eight competitive events.

This year’s event kicks off on Monday, June 6, “Under The Oaks,” 40 miles west of Washington D.C. Since 1853, Grafton Farms has been the site of the oldest horse show in the United States.

How it all Began

Colonel Dulany had the idea to begin the first Upperville Horse Show after coming across an abandoned and struggling colt during the winter of 1853. Determined to encourage surrounding breeders to take better care of young fouls and breed better stock, Dulany hosted the first Upperville Horse Show in June of that year. The show garnered so many entries and interest that a sponsorship club was started with Colonel Dulany as the president. The Upperville Union Club published their first account of the Upperville Horse show in 1857 in The Southern Planter.

By 1902, the organization was renamed the Upperville Colt and Horse Club and sponsored a two-day show in June of that year, expanding to include more classes, entries and events. In the years that followed, the Upperville Horse Show expanded over five days and included entries and riders from all over the country.

Since then, the Virginia Horse Shows Association has voted Upperville the Horse Show of the Year, and its been designated as a World Championship Hunter Rider Show and selected as the National Show Hunter Hall of Fame’s Horse Show of the Year.

Into The Present

Whether you are an equestrian, breeder, exhibitor or spectator, this event showcases the best of the best, as they compete for highly-coveted titles and awards. The competition is fierce, with over two thousand riders and horses ranging from children on ponies to Olympic and World Cup riders and horses.

Riders and horses are either scored or judged depending on the event. In a jumper competition, the main objective is to get the horse to jump over the jump without knocking it down, without concern for form or style while jumping. Grand prix show jumping, the highest level of show jumping, has become a popular and important spectator sport in the United States. Show jumping is also one of the few sports where men and women compete on equal levels, and range in age from 16 to 60.

Horses in the hunter class are judged not only on their ability to get to the other side of the jump, but also on their ease and grace while completing the various obstacles, such as a farmer’s fence, gates, stone walls and posts. The main objective is for both the horse and rider to navigate all the obstacles willingly and effortlessly.

Don’t Miss These Highlights!

Here, we share our favorite events, which we anxiously await each year. Publisher Sonya Bernhardt anticipates the Ladies Sidesaddle Hunter Under Saddle event, which displays women donning old-fashioned Victorian garb as they elegantly perch sidesaddle on their beautifully-bred horses. One of the most formal classes in the event, these women are the epitome of class and grace that represents the Victorian Era. It takes place on Saturday, June 11.

Evelyn Keyes, head of the In Country section, loves watching the Family Classes and the popular Piedmont Foxhounds invitational hack for the “silver foxes” of showing. The event is held “under the oaks” on Saturday, June 11, in the main ring in front of the grand stand.

Daily admission to the show is $10.00 per person. Children under 12 are admitted free when accompanied by an adult. Gates open at 8 a.m. daily.

For special arrangements, entertainment, reserved parking, or box seat information, please call 540 687-5740 or, during the show, 540-592-3858

For a complete schedule of the seven-day show visit Upperville.com.