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Murphy’s Love: Advice on Intimacy and Relationships
May 31, 2011
•Dear Stacy,
Read your column last issue about the woman whose husband was addicted to video games [May 4], and as a former WoW (World of Warcraft) widow I wanted to chime in. Many people play not specifically because they are addicted, but because they are depressed. My husband played when he was the most in the dumps because in these games you get to accomplish things, be big and strong and feel in control. All things he didn’t get to feel in real life. I know that many recovering gamers admit they did it because they were depressed.
-No Longer WoWed
Dear Stacy
[In reference to the May 4 article] I won’t call it cheating so much, but more of a giant failure or breakdown in communication. He may use games as an escape to avoid the potential confrontation of dealing with the breakdown of communication with his wife. Sometimes guys don’t want to share every detail of their day. To some, if work is stressful or they’ve had a bad day, just saying “I’m stressed” is enough. He is not looking for a fix. When communication in a marriage breaks down, it can be easy for one partner to avoid the breakdown by saying the other one is grumpy or distracted. Meanwhile, the other uses video games to avoid the pre-sleep chitchat. To me, no one is guilty of cheating, but both are guilty of avoiding the real issue: a breakdown of communication. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing healthy about playing video games all night, but this appears to be more of an issue of avoidance than addiction.
-Anonymous
I received a few letters about last month’s column, in which a wife described her husband’s daily practice of playing video games into the early morning hours. I labeled this behavior an addiction and took a hard line with the wife who had made excuses and accommodations for his habit that sounded codependent in nature.
Understandably, my assessment was controversial. Video gaming and Internet use are both incredibly common in our culture and easy to criticize. Many people enjoy gaming as a hobby and are still productive members of society. For some, gaming is a stress-relieving activity just like golf, reading or cooking. For others, particularly those who neglect other responsibilities in order to maintain a habit, gaming is an addiction.
The “depression as a source” question is very important. I agree that it’s likely that the husband suffers from depression, and that the depression invited the WoW coping mechanism. I also think it would be interesting to know more about the couple’s communication style in general: What’s been going on in the marriage that allowed this pattern of extreme screen time to take hold? Still, when a member of a couple is actively engaged in an addictive behavior, there is no chance of improving depression or communication while the addiction is still functioning. In Imago therapy we call that an exit from the relationship. All exits must be closed for true understanding and safe connection to authentically take place. End of story.
I did not name depression or communications issues as part of my response because I felt it was a disservice to provide the wife with another list of “Possible Reasons for His Behavior.” Codependency thrives on such lists. My response and concerns were for the wife, the letter-writer who was seeking advice.
Dear Stacy, “I’ve been married to my husband for seven years and we have two wonderful children, five & two. I’m a stay-at-home mom and love all the challenges and benefits my job provides. My husband, the sole breadwinner, has been laid off from his job. He is actively looking for new employment, but the stress of what the future might bring is starting to take its toll. He can have a short fuse and alternatively, I can be too sensitive. If he gruffs or has a mean look because the stress is getting to him, I take it too personally. Some days are better than others, and I try to be as supportive as I can, but I get frustrated and scared. The “what ifs” keep creeping into my head, and sometimes into conversation. He is very confident that he can and will find a job, but again, what if…? I am absolutely not worried about our marriage; I feel that we have a strong relationship and will no doubt survive this. But, I’d like us to get through this with as much love and respect as we can. Are there any tools or hints you can give us to help during this time of transition?
Sincerely, What-Iffing in Washington”
Dear What-Iffing,
I think your letter reflects a very common scenario across the country, and I thank you for opening the door to some conversation about what helps and what doesn’t when it comes to supporting a spouse during a very difficult time. It really sounds like you have a strong relationship – Husband certainly has a strong ally in this struggle – so much that you are able to look for new ideas to make it even better. So let’s talk about that.
While the short fuse/oversensitivity loop is incredibly common to couples, it packs a lot of power during times of extreme stress. Marriage expert John Gottman names criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling the “Four Horsemen” of a relationship’s apocalypse. In other words, any of those four communication patterns can decimate a relationship. I am not hearing any of these patterns in what you’ve written. I only bring them up as something to watch out for on your “Don’t” list.
For Gottman, criticism is more than just critiquing an idea your partner has put forth. It’s criticizing who the person is, rather than just what he’s said or done. Contempt is an attitude of utter disrespect, which makes the recipient feel worthless, and it has no place in a marriage. Defensiveness, although a very common reaction to conflict, can reflect an inability to take responsibility for how one’s actions impact others. Stonewalling is a way of avoiding issues entirely and can look like one partner completely tuning out the other.
This period of uncertainty is not the time to dig up old relationship wounds and reformat your family communications – save the deep conversations about how you’ve never really liked your father-in-law for another year. But a brief talk about how you both are coping could also include a No Tolerance Policy regarding Gottman’s four don’ts. Beyond that, making sure you have lots of patience (deep breaths), good outlets for your own emotions (girlfriends, exercise), and an attitude of openness (more deep breaths), all may help reduced stress. Be gentle with yourselves – you got into this knowing you were in it for better or for worse, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a negative reaction to the “worse” part. It’s completely natural and stretching your grace-under-pressure muscles could even make your marriage better in the long run. For sure, it will help your kids create a template for their future relationships that is stronger than the average blueprint.
Stacy Notaras Murphy is a licensed professional counselor and certified Imago Relationship therapist practicing at the Imago Center of DC in Georgetown. Her website is TherapyGeorgetown.com. This column is meant for entertainment only, and should not be considered a substitute for professional counseling. Please send your relationship questions to Stacy@Georgetowner.com
The Jack Evans Report, April 7
May 23, 2011
•
-Recently, Mayor Fenty released his FY 2011 budget plan to the council and the public. The budget proposes $5.27 billion in local funds, which is a decrease of 2.78 percent from FY 2010, and addresses the spending and revenue gap of $523 million between FY 2010 and FY 2011.
At first glance, the mayor’s budget continues to make investments in schools, both public and charter, funds the health care safety net — which faces greater utilization during an economic downturn — by improving the way we pay for these services, funds 4,069 uniformed officers as part of the Metropolitan Police Department and continues infrastructure improvements.
The mayor’s budget proposes to close the gap in various ways — eliminating 385 full-time employees, renegotiating various contracts, freezing salary increases, controlling spending by instituting cuts at District agencies, hiking a number of fines and fees and using $97 million in unallocated fund balances to balance the budget. More details of the mayor’s plan will be available once all the budget volumes and the FY 2011 Budget Support Act legislation are released.
I greatly appreciate the hard work it took for the mayor, his staff, and the chief financial officer to prepare and present this budget to the Council, particularly given the magnitude of the budget gap we face from FY 2010 to FY 2011. I am particularly glad the mayor avoided tax increases while protecting much of our public education, health care delivery, and public safety functions. But there are many details yet for the council to review through our public hearing process this spring, and invariably changes will be made.
I am concerned about using unallocated fund balances to help balance the budget, and we’re all awaiting full details on cuts to various agencies. Over the next two months, I will be working with Chairman Gray and my colleagues to come up with a final plan which is in the best interest of everyone in the District. However, I do think the mayor has made a good start and in what is a very, very challenging set of economic circumstances.
The council has just 56 days to review and vote on the proposed budget for the 2011 fiscal year, which begins Oct. 1. The proposed budget submitted by the mayor is available at www.budget.dc.gov.
The Committee on Finance and Revenue, which I chair, will hold its fiscal year 2011 budget and financial plan hearing on April 28 at 10 a.m. in the council chambers. To sign up to testify, contact Sarina Loy at sloy@dccouncil.us or 202-724-8058.
The author is a city councilmember representing District Ward 2.
Theater Shorts
May 17, 2011
•Arena Stage
—
Arena Stage will be producing John Grisham’s first novel adapted for the stage, “A Time To Kill,” the first theatrical adaptation of any Grisham work. After Carl Lee Hailey’s daughter falls victim to a horrific crime, her father takes the law into his own hands and ends up on trial for murder. An idealistic lawyer takes the case, but he’s up against a district attorney and faces a racially divided city. Tony Award-winning Rupert Holmes (The Mystery of Edwin Drood, Curtains) is the playwright in this play at Arena Stage through June 19. (ArenaStage.org)
Folger Theatre
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Folger Theatre premieres Michael Hollinger’s new translation of Rostand’s classic play, “Cyrano,” through June 5. The now-familiar tale of the large-nosed Cyrano, famed for his panache, and the handsome but tongue-tied Christian, who conspire to win the heart of the beautiful Roxane, is given new life in this sensuous, precise adaptation. (Folger.edu/theatre)
Ford’s Theatre
—
Ford’s Theatre presents the world premiere of Liberty Smith through May 21, a madcap musical romp through Revolutionary America. The elusive Mr. Liberty Smith, childhood friend of George Washington, apprentice to Benjamin Franklin and link to Paul Revere’s remarkable ride, weaves his way through familiar tales of a young nation. Rife with melody and blazing with adventure, Liberty Smith recalls the lush heyday of the American musical. Experience the nation’s birth through the eyes of forgotten Founding Father, Liberty Smith. (FordsTheatre.org)
Washington National Opera
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Washington National Opera brings us Iphigénie en Tauride, the story of Iphigénie, high priestess of Taurus, tormented by dreams of her family’s bloody past and intimations of violence in the future. Gluck’s masterpiece, with its sweeping score and dramatic story, is enjoying a renaissance at major opera houses around the world. This company premiere features a cast led by soprano Patricia Racette, “the consummate singing actress” (Chicago Tribune). Hailed as the “greatest operatic artist of modern time” (The Guardian), world-renowned tenor Plácido Domingo, in his last show at the company, sings Oreste, Iphigénie’s long-lost brother who is condemned to death. The opera runs through May 28. (DC-Opera.org)
The Latest Dish
•
From Steve Ells and the folks that brought you the amazingly successful QSR idol, Chipotle Mexican Grill, comes a new concept in the same QSR style. It’s called Shophouse Southeast Asian Kitchen (a mouthful in more ways than one) and will open its first store—a test market store—in Dupont Circle on Connecticut Ave., NW near the north Metro stop. The Asian-themed concept is slated to open this summer, but the Ells’ tweaking process is known to take time. No plans to expand beyond the first store yet.
New York City’s Luke’s Lobster, the lobster shack-themed restaurant concept founded by Georgetown grad Luke Holden, is scouting Penn Quarter for its first store in DC. Holden gets his seafood bearings from his father Jeffrey, who owns Portland Shellfish and is one of the owners of Luke’s. Other owners include Luke’s brother, Bryan, who lives here in Washington, and Luke’s friends Scott Bullard and Ben Conniff. A summer opening is planned.
Mid-Town Café opened on Wisconsin Avenue near Q St., next door to ILO Salon, and changed its name to Book Hill Café (for obvious reasons). The chef operator is Matthew Mohler, who has worked at Adour at the St Regis Hotel and J&G Steakhouse at the W Hotel. So American fare will highlight the menu. Breakfast, lunch and dinner are on the menu, as is an outdoor patio.
Quick Hits: It appears that Orlando-based Seasons 52 loves this area enough to sign a deal to open a second location, this one in Tysons Corner Center. Their first in the region opens in across from White Flint Mall in Bethesda. Yet another summer opening is planned. Salt & Pepper, by Chefs Nathan & Lindsey Auchter, joined by Robert Golfman and Suechen Chen (formerly of Bambu) will open where Kemble Park Tavern used to be in DC’s Palisades.
Another burger place opening this summer: Korean-based concept Kraze Burger is slated to open on Bethesda’s Elm Street. Expansion is expected to continue in North Bethesda, and Dulles and Georgetown will follow. They will also offer tofu and veggie burgers as well as salads.
Speaking of BGR, the chain plans to open a Clarendon restaurant at the corner of N. Highland Street and Wilson Boulevard. That would be the sixth BGR in the area. They have another Arlington location on Lee Highway in Clarendon).
Ivan Iricanin’s new taqueria, El Centro D.F., serves authentic Mexican food near his partners’ other restaurant, Masa 14. His partners are Kaz Okochi and Richard Sandoval. El Centro D.F. will occupy three floors in the 14th Street, NW building. Dinner and lounge on the lower level with the traditional taqueria on the first floor. Rooftop bar upstairs. Can’t wait for those warm summer evenings.
Richmond-based Café Caturra, a coffee house and wine bar, also plans to open in Arlington on S Glebe Road this summer—coffee during the day, wine in the evening. An outdoor patio is also part of the plan for the summer opening. Café Caturra was founded by musician turned restaurateur Jeff Grant.
Chef Update: Former Westend Bistro sous-chef Adam Barnett will be head chef at Eventide. He previously worked at another restaurant in the group, Liberty Tavern, as well as the Inn at Little Washington.
Openings Update: Ping Pong Dim Sum’s Dupont Circle location plans to open in early August, for the time being. Pinkberry, which just opened on Connecticut Avenue near M Street, plans to open (in no particular order) in Leesburg, Clarendon, National Harbor and Georgetown.
On The Calendar: Zoofari at the National Zoo – Thursday, May 19; Wine Enthusiast’s Toast of the Town at National Building Museum (still a few slots open) – Friday, May 20; RAMMY Awards at Marriot Wardman Park (Carnevale theme) – Sunday, June 26.
Linda Roth Conte is president of Linda Roth Associates, Inc (LRA) specializing in making creative connections through media relations, marketing initiatives, community outreach and special events for the hospitality industry. Contact Linda at 703-417-2700 or Linda@LindaRothPR.com or visit her web site at LindaRothPR.com.
Cocktail of the Week
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While most drinkers are familiar with beer, wine and spirits, sake, a rice-based alcoholic beverage of Japanese origin, has an aura of mystery about it. Pronounced Sah-KAY, many view it as an exotic and foreign elixir. Known as “The Drink of the Gods,” sake is the national spirit of Japan and has been consumed for over 4,000 years.
Sake is often referred to as rice wine. However, it is made through a brewing process similar to the way beer is made.
Many people are first exposed to sake in a sushi bar or Japanese restaurant, and never try it elsewhere. The most common sake served is Futsu-Shu, which would be equivalent of table wine.
But like wine, sake comes in a variety of premium categories. These types are distinguished by the degree to which the rice has been polished and the added percentage of brewer’s alcohol or the absence of such additives. More and more of these sake styles are breaking into the US market. According to Imbibe magazine in 2007, for the first time ever the dollar figure for sales of premium sake in the US exceeded that of generic Futsu-Shu.
As the popularity of sake increases, it has begun to appear on cocktail menus as bartenders and mixologist discover its versatility.
Market Watch magazine reports in April 2011 that bartenders are combining sake with distilled spirits in cocktails as a way of enhancing their flavor profiles. Todd Richman, corporate mixologist for Sidney Frank Importing Co., which markets the Gekkeikan portfolio, sees sake cocktails as an emerging category.
“It has a lot of finesse,” he says. Richman believes that sakes fit well with the handcrafted cocktail movement, which touts fresh-squeezed juices and house-made ingredients.
A spattering of Washington restaurants serve sake cocktails. A popular item at Zentan is the Spicy Thai Martini made with Nigori unfiltered sake, chili infused Russian Standard vodka, St. Germaine and a splash of cranberry. At Poste Brasserie, the Plum Blossom is a cherry-infused sake cocktail finished with plum soda.
Another popular trend is using sake in place of the base spirit in familiar cocktails. For example, in a Saketini, the classic martini is given a new twist when sake is substituted for vermouth and mixed with gin. A sake screwdriver and Zipang mimosa combine sake and sparkling sake respectively with orange juice.
These reinvented cocktails are popping up on menus not just at Asians spots, but steakhouses, tapas bars and conventional restaurants as well. According to Market Watch, Ruby Tuesday is one of Gekkeikan’s largest customers due the chain’s use of Gekkeikan sake in their sangrias.
One of my favorite sake libations is an updated version of the Sex and the City favorite, the Cosmopolitan. The Sake Cosmo replaces limejuice with sake. I like the way the acidity of sake blends with the tart flavor of cranberry. The orange sweetness is highlighted with a touch of earthiness. It’s just enough difference to give this fading favorite a breath of new life.
Sake Cosmo
1 oz Vodka
1 oz sake
1 oz orange liqueur
1 oz cranberry
Combine ingredients in a shaker with ice. Pour into a martini glass.
Different styles of sake may be purchased at Dixie Liquor (3429 M Street in Georgetown)
Murphy’s Love: Advice on Intimacy and Relationships
May 11, 2011
•Dear Stacy:
My wife and I have separated after 12 years of marriage. We have done the whole couples counseling thing and it’s just time for us both to move on. We have a son who is 10 and I am really worried about his adjustment right now. We will have joint custody and are trying to work out an arrangement to keep his life consistent, etc. I know she’s likely to start dating soon – she already may be seeing someone – and I want to find a way to ensure that our son is not exposed to that. Is there a way to tactfully suggest that we agree not to have boyfriends staying over at the house when our son is present? We are working with a divorce mediation service, trying to save money on the legal fees, so I’m not sure how to make this happen legally. You always say to start with a rational conversation, so I’d just like some help on making that happen.
-Starting the Single Life
Dear Starting:
I appreciate your interest in protecting the 10-year-old. I’m going to take it at face value – you aren’t interested in controlling Ex-wife’s social life, you want to make sure that Son’s life is not complicated by finding random paramours making pancakes in the kitchen each weekend. That makes sense and you certainly can find an attorney who will provide the legal language for your custody agreement.
If you think that Wife is open to having this conversation without making it part of a legal document, I’d always suggest starting with what you are willing to do yourself: “I know that there is a chance I will start dating again and I would like to make the commitment to not have any overnight guests when Son is present.” It’s never a good idea to open a conversation with an accusatory tone about what you think she might be planning to do. From a brain chemistry standpoint, fingerpointing only invites our reactive, reptilian brains to the debate, making no room for our rational, frontal lobe to get involved. You sound reasonable in your concern for Son’s welfare – please make sure that Ex-wife can see you are operating from that place, and that you are not trying to police her social life.
Whether or not Son is showing visible signs of stress about the separation, his life has changed dramatically and it’s likely that he is feeling it on the inside. Setting him up with a family counselor when things are relatively quiet is a good way to make sure he has someone to talk to when more of the reality sets in. Also, please consider finding a support group for him (and for yourself) that brings together kids who are facing family changes. Sometimes healing is found simply in knowing that others are dealing with the same problems we have at home.
Dear Stacy:
My husband is not cheating on me, but I think I know a little bit about how that might feel because he spends the majority of his downtime playing video games–World of Warcraft to be exact. He plays every single night of the week, until early the next morning. We have two small children under the age of five and he helps put them to bed when I ask him to, but you can tell he’s distracted. What’s more I think they can tell he’s distracted, too. Then he goes right back to playing video games. He crawls into bed at 1am or 2am. He leaves for work always in a bad mood, and then we repeat the whole thing the next night. Weekends are a little better in that he doesn’t play during the day, but the nights are exactly the same. He tells me that he has a very stressful job (true) and that this is the only way for him to unwind and enjoy himself. I have tried to be patient and accepting, but I miss him and am so frustrated.
-Single parent by default
Dear Single:
The truth is that Husband is cheating – cheating you out of a partner in your marriage and cheating your kids out of having a father.
I imagine you’ve made some great promises to yourself about how much you will take before making a Big Deal out of this, and that line keeps moving every time Husband explains why he “needs” or “deserves” his excessive screen time. Let me be clear, anyone spending that amount of time playing video games is an addict. And anyone who allows this to happen in her household is codependent. It’s just as risky as the gambler who spends the family’s savings while the other partner makes excuses. It’s just as dangerous as the drinker who is still allowed to babysit for the children. I’m not saying you made this happen to your life, but I am saying you have a role in perpetuating this cycle.
The hard part is that we cannot force someone to break an addiction; the person has to be ready on his own. Husband may not be ready to face his music, but it sounds like you are ready to face yours. You are ready to halt this pattern of codependence and you must act on your instincts to protect your kids. They may be young, but they are aware enough to see a family system that overburdens Mom and lets Dad be absent even when he’s physically in the home – and this is a template that they will carry with them for the rest of their lives. You owe it to them (and their future spouses) to replace that template with one that demonstrates how an adult takes good care of herself. Find a support system – therapy, clergy, family, friends. And then get yourself to a Codependents Anonymous meeting (Coda.org) where you can learn more about how you got here and how you can make positive changes. Then talk to Husband about your goals and expectations. If he’s not willing to change, he needs to know that you already have.
Stacy Notaras Murphy is a licensed professional counselor and certified Imago Relationship therapist practicing at the Imago Center of DC in Georgetown. Her website is TherapyGeorgetown.com. This column is meant for entertainment only, and should not be considered a substitute for professional counseling. Please send your relationship questions to Stacy@georgetowner.com.
Cocktail of the Week
May 4, 2011
•As Cinco de Mayo rolls around, many will celebrate the holiday by hoisting margaritas. However, these two traditions, the party and the cocktail, may actually be more American than Mexican.
Cinco de Mayo (Spanish for the fifth of May) commemorates the Mexican army’s 1862 victory over France at the Battle of Puebla during the French-Mexican War. According to National Geographic, the anniversary of the victory is celebrated only sporadically in Mexico, mainly in the southern town of Puebla and in a few larger cities. In the United States, Cinco de Mayo has evolved into a celebration of Mexican culture and ancestry, similar to the way that St. Patrick’s Day and Oktoberfest celebrate the Irish and German heritage.
While the margarita is the #1 requested tequila cocktail in the U.S, the paloma is more popular in Mexico. Spanish for “dove,” the paloma is a refreshing highball made with tequila and grapefruit soda. According to Brown-Forman, which markets the El Jimador and Herradura tequila brands, 100,000 palomas are consumed each hour in Mexico.
While colas dominate the soft drink market in the United States, tropical fruit-flavored sodas are popular in Mexico. These preferred refreshments are believed to have evolved from agua fresca, or fruit waters, sold by street vendors throughout Latin America.
Mexican soft drinks differ from domestic sodas in two main ways. They are sweetened with natural sugar instead of corn syrup, which gives them a brighter flavor. They also tend to taste more like juice than the highly carbonated drinks favored in the U.S.
Squirt is a well-known brand of grapefruit soda in the States, however it has more of a lemon-lime flavor than the Squirt sold in Mexico. Jarritos, a popular Mexican soft drink brand, is available in many unique flavors, including Toronja or grapefruit. It can be found in Latin American markets.
Knowing these differences, one could make a paloma with Squirt or Jarritos, but for deliciously brisk version, I recommend using freshly squeezed grapefruit and lime juices topped with soda for a bit of fizz.
Just like a margarita, the paloma may be served with or without salt on the rim. The salt adds an additional layer of flavor: sweet, sour, and salty, with just a pinch of bitterness.
The paloma can be found at a few Washington Mexican restaurants including Oyamel and Rosa Mexicana. Chief mixologist Jon Arroyo at Founding Farmers in Foggy Bottom offers a different take, with an added kick most don’t have.
Arroyo uses house-made chipotle syrup to add seasoning and the drink is topped off with a mescal floater to give it an extra agave punch. These smoky elements provide one more level of complexity.
“I’m a big supporter of spice mixed with fruits,” Arroyo says. “I like the balance.” Arroyo’s cocktail starts out crisp and refreshing, then it hits you with spicy smack.
Founding Farmers is a perfect place to try the paloma on Cinco De Mayo if you want to avoid the rush at area Mexican restaurants. Or if you prefer to dine-in, try this easy-make paloma at home.
The Paloma
1/2 oz fresh lime juice (1/2 lime)
3 oz fresh grapefruit juice
2 oz tequila
1/2 oz agave nectar (or simple syrup)
Salt
Soda
Rim a Collins glass with salt. Mix first four ingredients and pour over ice into glass. Top with club soda or grapefruit soda.
Dixie Liquor in Georgetown will host a tequila tasting on May 5, from 5-8 pm.
The Jack Evans Report
•
This week Council’s Subcommittee on Redistricting held two public hearings in the Council Chamber. According to federal law, the District must perform a redistricting of its eight Wards within 90 days of the Council’s receipt of the Census report, which happens every ten years. This year we have to complete our work by July 14. After the Ward redistricting process is complete, the Council will review and make adjustments to the boundaries of the Advisory Neighborhood Commissions (ANCs) and Single Member Districts (SMDs), both slated for this fall, with the entire process wrapping up by the end of the year.
In my 20 years on the Council, there is no issue I have encountered that evokes a stronger emotional reaction than redistricting. There are two primary approaches the Council could take in reviewing the Ward boundaries. One, to move as few people as possible within the outskirts of the legal parameters we face would attempt to minimize the disruption to the extent we can. Another, to move each ward as close to the mean as possible with the rationale that it is not fair to have Wards 7 and 8 as the lowest populated Wards in the District. There is no way to make everyone happy in the redistricting process, but my goal will be to maintain and reunite neighborhoods when possible, making use of census tract lines, natural boundaries and major traffic arteries to create logical Ward borders within the framework imposed on us by federal law.
The average population of all the Wards of the city is 75,215, based on a total District population of 601,723. When divided by eight, this creates a “target,” or benchmark number for the Council to use in determining necessary changes in boundary lines. The minimum allowable population per ward is 71,455, and the maximum population 78,976. According to the Census data, this means that Ward 2 must lose at least 939 residents to be within the statutory requirements, or as many as 4,700 residents to get to the average population. In contrast, Ward 7 must gain at least 386 residents or 4,137, to get to the target. Ward 8 must gain at least 742 residents at minimum or 4,503 to get to the target number. With regard to SMDs, the target size is 2,000, with an ideal number of 301 SMDs. The minimum population for an SMD is 1,900, and the maximum population 2,100.
The process is far from complete. We heard from a number of witnesses this week and will continue to consider input received electronically or by mail in the coming days, before introducing a plan for mark-up in the next several weeks. After the mark-up, the Subcommittee on Redistricting will hold a third hearing to receive public input on the plan, prior to its review by the full Council. I invite all residents to participate in this process and to visit our redistricting website at DCCouncil.us/Redistricting2011, which has important information about the redistricting process.
Across the Cutting Board with Ris
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“Other than shad roe,” said Ris, as we walked around the farmers market on a windy Saturday afternoon, “asparagus is just the harbinger of spring.” Looking around, every vendor had buckets of the fat, twiggy vegetables, rubber-banded in bunches with their spiky pompadours pointed toward the sky. And everyone at the market that day seemed to be there just for the occasion with baggies, satchels and Radio Flyers overflowing with springtime’s most famous green.
With their celebrated six-week lifespan, asparagus is like a revered culinary house guest that restaurants gear up to accommodate every season for their brief, glorious visit. On the first warm days of each year, anticipation for them is immediate and stifling; in a draft of last month’s column, I prematurely alluded to the crunchy spearheads, caught up in simultaneous thoughts of spring afternoons and their companionable treat. Ris had to hold me back, imploring me not to let loose a wave of untimely kitchen references.
“But it’s true,” she says. “There is something about being able to just eat asparagus fresh, right out of the ground that screams spring, freshness, growth. It’s revitalizing. They are such stunning, beautiful vegetables, and so much brighter than produce you see in the winter, that it awakens a certain spirit within us, and a desire for seasonal produce.”
Whether grilled, sautéed, steamed, roasted or fried, asparagus’ distinct flavor, crispness and seasonality have made it a delicacy for millennia. It was cultivated by the ancient Greeks and Romans, who also dried it out for use during the winter months. There is a recipe for asparagus in the oldest surviving cookbook from the third century AD, and a rendering of the spears even grace an ancient Egyptian frieze dating back to 3000 BCE.
“And it lends itself so well to so many flavor sensations,” says Ris. Asian cuisine uses it frequently in stir-fry, Italians wrap it in prosciutto, the French steam it and drizzle it with Hollandaise sauce, the Greek grill it with olive oil and a squeeze of lemon. Shave it with a potato peeler and mix it with salad greens, throw it in eggs or add it to almost anything for a fresh twist on classic dishes.
As for Ris, she has her own ways of dealing with this springtime herald. Her favorite, simple method of cooking asparagus is a quick pan roast. She puts a skillet on the burner until its quite hot, making sure the pan heats evenly and all the way through. She drizzles some oil in the pan, a couple tablespoons at the most, and as soon as it heats up she throws in the asparagus, tosses it around and covers it with a lid. Ris lets the asparagus sit for three to five minutes, unconcerned with unevenly browning the spears. “It adds character,” she says. “This steam/sear method gives the asparagus a great texture while allowing it to largely retain its moisture and flavor without being diluted.”
She then lifts the lid, adds salt, pepper and a squeeze of fresh lemon, and flips them. “I wait for the asparagus to cook a bit before adding the salt and pepper because it needs to soften up and release some water before the outer skin can absorb other flavors.”
After another minute or two on the pan, she takes them off and plates them, adding a sprinkle more lemon, pine nuts, fresh croutons, chopped hardboiled egg, a shave of parmesan and some quality feta cheese. “The feta is a power house flavor that balances the strength of the asparagus,” she says.
This is too easy and too good of a dish not to try for yourself. Ris recommends picking up the feta from Lebanese Taverna, which according to her has the best around.
In the kitchen at RIS, however, asparagus gets more of a royal treatment. Her asparagus and grapefruit salad, a “combination of dishes that came together over the years,” is a customer favorite. “This is one of those dishes where people cry when we take it off the menu each season,” she says. “But what can you do? We put it on the menu when asparagus is in season, and you take it off when it’s gone.”
It is at once deceivingly simple and meticulous in its preparation. The asparagus is marinated in house-made miso vinaigrette, and the dish is topped with a ginger-lime glaze. Both are fairly elaborate, but worth the effort depending on the depth of your love for this world-class delicacy. “Asparagus, with its strong almost bitterness, mixes so well with acid and citrus from the grapefruit and dressings. The flavors temper each other and balance the palate.”
But the bottom line is: asparagus is now. Run to the farmers market and pick it up while you can. This weekend will also see the arrival of strawberries, Ris informs me. Perhaps a seared tuna steak with goat cheese, strawberries and fresh asparagus? What are you waiting for?
Asparagus and Gingered Grapefruit Salad
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By Ris Lacoste
“Don’t be afraid of these ingredients. These are great, versatile dressings that work well with many salads and keep forever in the fridge. They’re well worth the effort.”
Serves 6
2 cups miso vinaigrette (see recipe below)
2 cups ginger glaze (see recipe below)
42 pieces of large asparagus
36 sections of pink grapefruit, 4-5 grapefruit
¼ cup mixed black and white sesame seeds
2 scallions, cut thinly at an angle
salt
Make the miso vinaigrette and ginger glaze ahead of time and keep in the refrigerator. Ever so slightly peel each stem of asparagus to eliminate any stringy toughness and to ensure even cooking. Blanch in a large pot of boiling salted water until the stems just bend, 3-5 minutes. Remove immediately to an ice bath to stop cooking and preserve green color.
Remove from the water as soon as the asparagus is chilled and drain. Asparagus is much more flavorful if not served ice cold, so keep at room temperature if just before service. If not, refrigerate until 10-15 minutes before ready to use.
Section grapefruit into a strainer over a bowl. Squeeze out as much juice as you can from the remaining fruit pith. Make sure the sections are whole and cleaned of all pith. (It is best to buy a couple of extra grapefruit, to assure enough perfect sections.) Place the sections into a separate bowl and cover with ginger glaze. Drink the fresh squeezed juice.
To arrange the salad, cover the asparagus with a cup or so of the miso vinaigrette, saving enough to dress the bottom of each salad plate. Let the asparagus soak in the dressing for a couple of minutes. Meanwhile, cover the bottom of each salad plate with a layer of the miso vinaigrette. Arrange a log pile of 7 asparagus spears in the center of each plate. Arrange 3 grapefruit sections fanned out on each side of the asparagus. Sprinkle with scallions and sesame seeds.
Miso vinaigrette
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Makes 3 cups
3 inches fresh ginger, peeled and finely diced
1 tablespoon garlic, minced
1 tablespoon miso
1 ½ tablespoons chile paste with garlic (essential ingredient, found in Asian markets)
½ bunch cilantro, chopped
3 ounces sherry
4 ounces rice vinegar
5 ounces fish sauce (nuac nam, also found in Asian markets)
2 ounces lime juice
1 tablespoon honey
1 ounce sesame oil
4 ounces peanut oil
Combine all of the ingredients in a bowl except for the sesame oil and peanut oil. Whisk in each oil one at a time. This dressing will last indefinitely, covered in the refrigerator.
Ginger Lime Glaze
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Makes 2 cups
8” ginger, peeled and cut into very fine threads
zest of 4 limes
1 ½ cups tarragon vinegar
¾ cup sugar
Combine all ingredients in a non reactive pot. Bring to a boil. Remove from the heat and let sit for 5 minutes to infuse flavors. Bring back to a boil and repeat process. Bring back to a boil for a third time. Set aside until cool enough to cover and refrigerate. The glaze will last indefinitely and makes a great iced or hot tea base.
April 26, Voting for At-Large DC Councilmember
April 28, 2011
•Election day for the at-large city council seat, vacated by Kwame Brown upon taking the position of Council Chairman, is tomorrow, April 26. If you talk to people about the at-large council election, many of them will tell you this is one of the most important council elections in DC’s history. Whoever wins may well be the deciding vote on many critical issues.
Currently, the council is swarming with division—Chairman Kwame Brown is seen as being in big trouble, and Mayor Gray’s office is muddled with difficulties which have yet to resolve themselves, and his influence over council matters is currently seen as sharply reduced.
Into this mess have stepped a number of candidates for the at-large council chair, including one on the council now, familiar faces, fresh faces and able candidates.
Here is a rundown of the frontrunner candidates in the campaign—Vincent Orange, Sekou Biddle, Patrick Mara and Bryan Weaver—from their professional history to their accomplishments and goals for the city’s future. Please explore the candidate’s own web pages for more comprehensive information on their specific platforms on key issues such as education reform, the city’s budget, sustainable energy and green innovations, development, and government regulation and oversight. Whatever your decision, be sure to vote tomorrow and have a say in the future of this city.
Vincent Orange
Orange was defeated in the bid for Council Chairman by Kwame Brown in the previous election, but this longtime city servant has a great deal to offer the District. Trained as a CPA and attorney, Vincent spent years working for local businesses and non-profits including the National Children’s Center, Inc. He served two previous terms on the City Council as Ward 5 Chairman, spearheading efforts to bring much-needed development to underserved communities. He is a champion of school reform, inner city development through partnerships with local business and sustainable energy innovations to reduce energy costs.
His history with the city, as well has his fundamental and holistic understanding of its needs, is what The Georgetowner believes this city needs right now.
For more information visit (OrangeAtLarge.com)[http://www.orangeatlarge.com/]
Sekou Biddle
Currently serving as interim councilor, Biddle was supported in his selection by the Democratic Committee to be interim councilman by Mayor Gray and Council Chairman Brown. He comes from the same school reform background that helped form Michelle Rhee and her successor as Chancellor Kaya Henderson. However you feel about his selection as interim council member, it’s given him a leg up in terms of dealing with present council members, the kind of experience only Orange has.
He was born and raised in Columbia Heights and has spent his professional career devoted to improving public schools, through Teach for America, Knowledge Is Power Program (KIPP) DC, and other inner city teaching programs, with almost two decades of experience in urban public education reform.
Biddle is a member of the Council’s committees on Housing and Workforce Development, Aging and Community Affairs and Libraries, Parks and Recreation.
For more information visit (SekouBiddle.com)[ http://sekoubiddle.com/atlarge/]
Patrick Mara
Mara, the lone Republican candidate, has been endorsed by the Washington Post as a strong candidate to offer an independent voice to the DC council.
Mara, with his young(ish) Irish charm, got some political seasoning when he ran against Carol Schwartz (a GOP stalwart, albeit of the liberal sort for years) and beat her in a primary, only to lose the general election to the newly minted Independent Michael Brown a few years back. We assume Mara has learned a thing or two from that experience, and he stayed in the fray, winning election to the school board. Mara considers himself socially liberal, having supported gay marriage rights and needle exchange programs (shed by the GOP), while being financially conservative.
Having begun his career on the staff of the US Senate Committee on Environment and Public Works, Mara is also a past contractor at the Department of Energy and NREL where he specialized in renewable energy and green transportation projects.
For more information visit (PatrickMara.com)[http://patrickmara.com/about/]
Bryan Weaver
Weaver is a longtime Ward 1 community activist who has spent plenty of time on his local Adams Morgan ANC board. He has worked on coalition building in local and national politics, promoting liveable and affordable urban neighborhoods, crime prevention, education, community and economic empowerment, affordable housing issues and nonprofit work geared toward youth leadership development. He is a true believer in the economic and cultural diversity of Washington D.C.
Weaver began got his start in politics as an aide to the late Senator Paul Wellstone and as an aide to Reverend Jesse Jackson.
For more information visit (BryanWeaverDC.com)[http://bryanweaverdc.com/]