American Marketing Assoc. Networker
• August 15, 2013

American Marketing Association of D.C.’s September Networker was held at EPIC Smokehouse in Pentagon City on Sept 24. AMADC President-elect Brian Rutter picked three win- ners from the business card fishbowl to win $50 gift certificates (each) from EPIC.
AMADC is the oldest chapter in the country, celebrating its 80th anniversary on Oct. 25 at the Carnegie Science Institute. The national organization is only 75 years old.

Standing Their Ground
•

“This is the last of the grandchildren,” joked Tony and
Joe’s manager Dean Cibel, as he surveyed his family’s
restaurants with manager Dave Peva and designer
Dennis Shea and looked at the ice skating rink being built over
Washington Harbour’s fountain. After 17 months closed down
and nine months of a $4-million reconstruction, Tony and Joes’
Seafood Place and Nick’s Riverside Grill are fully and officially
back in the action next to the Potomac at the complex.

At one of Washington’s hottest places to see and be seen, the
Cibels’ elegantly redesigned restaurants — now even more open
and with bigger windows to the river — are joined by Sequoia,
Farmers, Fishers and Bakers, Bangkok Joe’s, the proposed Fiola
Mare and others.

The folks at Tony and Joe’s Seafood Place and Nick’s
Riverside Grill—people like Tony Cibel, his sons Nick and Dean
and their cousin Greg Casten—must have thought it was déjà vu
all over again as they awaited and endured Hurricane Sandy.

After all, it’s only been less than two years, and a major renovation
since the great April 2011 Washington Harbour floodgates
crisis and Tony and Joe’s Seafood Place, a classic Georgetown
and Washington legend of a restaurant reopened bigger, and better,
with more flavors and a lot of hoopla — and here was another scary
storm bearing down on the Potomac River.

Not to worry. As fictional President Morgan Freeman assured
us in the film, “Deep Impact,” “. . . And the waters receded.”

Now, Tony and Joe’s Seafood Place, once built on nothing
but the sand on the harbor, can continue to go about its business
of becoming a Washington dining legend, combining the good
words of legendary food critic Phyllis Richman with an enduring
popularity. It embraces all sorts of diners, locals in Georgetown,
tourists, business folks, couples canoodling over seafood and
a spectacular Potomac River-Watergate-Kennedy Center view
and, of course, the recognizable faces who parade through here,
and the equally successful Nick’s Riverside Grille, with singular regularity.

Imagine what you’d have if many of the stellars who came
to Tony & Joe’s arrived on the same night: Hillary Clinton,
Andy Garcia, Clint Eastwood, minus the empty chair, Denzel
Washington (he’s got a new hit movie), comedian Jackie Mason,
Eddie Murphy, Redskins running back Joe Riggins and quarterback
Sonny Jurgensen, Jerry Jones, another Redskins quarterback
Billy Kilmer, the Capitals’ Alex Ovechkin and Nicholas
Backstrom, Frank “Hondo” Howard from a different D.C. baseball
era, President George W. Bush, no less, William Shatner, beaming,
up and sideways, former Redskins coach Norv Turner, bad boy
Alec Baldwin, Kim Basinger (hopefully, not at the same table),
Kathleen Turner and others. You’d have even more of a heck of
a Tony and Joe’s party.

The tale of Tony and Joe’s is a part of Washington restaurant
lore, going back to October 9, 1987—that’s 25 years almost to
the day, give or take a week or two. The key figures were all
friends—developer Herb Miller, who saw a city mall (The Shops
at Georgetown Park) on a busy street, and the waterfront design
that would become Washington Harbour in a pile of sand, plus his
old friend Tony Cibel and Joe Rinaldi who owned the Dancing
Crab, a seafood fixture in Tenleytown, renowned—you guessed
it—for its crab dishes as well as other signature seafood dishes.

Tony and Joe, who had been partners for a while, figured that
the Dancing Crab—while popular in a down-home, raffish, nittygritty
way—needed a little fine tuning for the tonier location at
Washington Harbour. (The Cibel family recently sold the Dancing
Crab.) So, they added a signature crab cake dish, and made sure
that they had a world-class seafood house in a city more noted for
steaks and French restaurants.

Tony Cibel and Joe Rinaldi were a perfect pair of partners—
Cibel, a man with a gift for the business, running D.C. liquorrelated
businesses, including the Barrel House Liquor Store on
14th Street, Rinaldi in his role as a top salesman for Capital Cadillac for years.

They were also big family guys, and it’s no surprise to find Rinaldi and Cibel offspring in the business—Cibel has two sons and two nephews and Rinaldi had four children, and all of them, at one time or another including today, were involved in the creation, building and running of the restaurants.

Tony brought in top chefs in the beginning like Ron Goodman and Billy McNamee, creating quality dishes and building a reputation—Richman called the restaurant “a contender on the waterfront.” The two also pioneered the use out of outdoor patios at a time when not many restaurants thought much of dining outside.

In 1992, it was time for a little add-on, with Joe buying the bottom part of what was chef Victor Testa’s Leonardi Da Vinci, which had closed its doors. This became Nick’s Riverside Grille, after Cibel’s son, a spot that soon became not quite like Tony & Joe’s, something special in its own right, a neighborhood-style restaurant saloon on the Riverfront.

In the world of Cibel, there’s always somebody from the family around—Cibel is, after all, the patriarch of the Oceanside Management Family of restaurants, which included the Dancing Crab, Tony & Joe’s Seafood Place, Nick’s Riverside Grille, Kaufmann’s Tavern, Cabanas and the Rockfish.

It’s been 17 months since the difficulties with the floodgate systems at Washington Harbour, but Tony and Joe’s and Nick’s are back. And so is the office-residence complex itself, Washington Harbour, with a new fountain, wood work and lighting—and an ice skating rink. Executive chef David Stein, for years heading his own restaurant, Bistro St. Michael’s, presides over a menu that doesn’t neglect old Tony and Joe’s favorites but also includes its share of new choices. ? [gallery ids="101043,136325,136310,136320,136316" nav="thumbs"]

Valentine’s Day Confidential
•

Valentine’s Day Q&A

In preparation for Valentine’s Day, we contacted a few of our favorite couples about their relationships, memories and plans for this year. We asked:

1. What are you two doing for Valentine’s Day?
2. What was your best romantic gesture or stunt?
3. What do you two love most about each other?
4. Where was your first date?

Here are their responses:

Geoff Tracy and Norah O’Donnell

= Duh, is that coming up again?! Quite un-romantically, I’ll be in D.C., watching the restaurants on Feb. 14, and Norah will be in NYC going to bed early to get ready for her 4 a.m. wake-up call to do “CBS This Morning.” I should probably send flowers, right?

= Back in the day when I was courting her (freshman year at Georgetown University) I would leave little love notes hidden in her dorm room that she would find throughout her week. Fortunately, she never filed a restraining order.

= I love and respect her hard work and success in her career and life. I also find her drop-dead gorgeous.

=The Dubliner in 1991. It was a group of eight of us. An older gent with a few missing teeth was flirting with Norah. She asked me to get her out of the situation. I said I would but she had to go along with whatever I did. She agreed. I then told the guy I was about to ask for her hand in marriage. He didn’t believe me. So, I got down on my knee in front of the whole restaurant and asked her to marry me. She had to say yes. People bought us drinks and congratulated us all night.

Robin and Jeff Jones

= Not sure yet …

= I sent him on a scavenger hunt throughout the house with puny valentines cards to find his gift. It was fun … he found it endearing, but I cannot remember what the gift was.

= Each other’s company!

= A lunch date (I was checking him out to see if he was nighttime date-worthy) at a local tavern in Frederick, Md., called Jennifer’s.

Kiki Ryan and Tim Burger, to be married in March

= Sadly, we are going to be apart. Ironically, I’m going to the most romantic city in the world – Paris – with some of my bridesmaids for my bachelorette party.

= He recently showed me he had saved the receipt of chocolate and wine that he bought for our first day.

= That as long as we’ve got each other, we can handle anything.

= He brought over red wine and dark chocolate over to my apartment, and we watched “No Country For Old Men.”

Richard and Charlotte Shields

= We will be having dinner at 1789 Restaurant … nothing better.

= Best romantic gesture: Husband hijacking my iPhone or computer and posting on my Facebook how much I love him. He doesn’t even need to hijack it … I proclaim it everyday.

= What we love the most about each other is our limitless desire to spend time with each other, our family and friends and how we both find joy in every moment spent together in anything.

= Our love and life is uniquely a Georgetown story: We met at Dahlgren Chapel of the Sacred Heart at Georgetown University where Richard was the wedding singer, and I (Charlotte) was the bridesmaid for my brother’s wedding. Our first kiss was in the courtyard in front of Dahlgren Chapel. First date? The Tombs. First time going to church together was at Holy Trinity where Richard was singing in 1974.

Erika Gutierrez and Rodrigo Garcia, to be married in March

= We enjoy spending quality time together at home. So, we will cook dinner together, watch movies at home and hang out with our miniature pinscher Ricky.

= On the weekend we got engaged, Rodrigo took me to Little Palm Island and proposed while we were on a walk after dinner. It was so romantic, so perfect. He planned everything out so beautifully. I will never forget it.

= The way we both support each other in our personal and professional lives. We are each other’s biggest fan.

= Rasika

Jack and Kay Kendall Davies

= We will be in London and going to one of our favorite restaurants.

= Best romantic gesture or stunt: When Jack proposed to Kay at the top of L’Arc de Triomphe in Paris.

= Kay has learned to love hockey, and Jack has learned to love dance.

= First date: A wonderful dinner at a not so wonderful restaurant, surrounded by noisy tourists with children.

[gallery ids="101145,140736,140714,140730,140725,140720" nav="thumbs"]

Georgetown’s Turning Tables
•

Fiola’sTrabocchi Plans Washington Harbour Restaurant Chef Fabio Trabocchi (shown right) plans to open his next restaurant, the 7,500-square-foot Fiola Mare, at Washington Harbour in fall 2013, according to the Washington Post. Trabocchi has signed a letter of intent with MRP Realty, which owns the popular waterfront complex on the Potomac River in Georgetown. Trabocchi already has Fiola in downtown. Architects for the new restaurant’s build-out, HapstakDemetriou, which has offices at Q Street and Wisconsin Avenue, the Post added. The fish-happy eatery will have inside and outside dining along with a raw bar.

Meanwhile, at Washington Harbour, Farmers Fishers Bakers will open in November in the old Farmers & Fishers space, next to Sequoia and Tony & Joe’s, in front of the soon-to-open ice skating rink. Maintaining the rustic theme, Farmers Fishers Bakers will include a “farmhouse sushi” bar, whatever that means.

Michel Richard’s Citronelle is reportedly reopening in May or June 2013. Central is open. See details on page 13.

Tony &Joe’s Seafood Place and Nick’s Riverside Grill have reopened. It’s a big deal; see page 14.

Spike Mendelsohn’s Good Stuff Eatery will open on M Street at, 3291 M St. N.W., sometime soon, we hope.

ShopHouseSoutheast Asian Kitchen As previously reported in Linda Roth Conte’s column The Latest Dish right here in The Georgetowner,ShopHouse is awaiting approval to open in the former home of Furin’s at 2805 M St. N.W.

The Metropolitan Cooking & Entertaining Show will be at the Washington Convention Center this Saturday and Sunday, Nov. 3-4. The Show will feature appearances by celebrity chefs Paula Deen, Giada De Laurentiis, Guy Fieri and Jacques Pepin. Cookbook authors, cooking demonstrations, and mixologists will all be part of the expo. Adult admission is $27; children under 12 years old, $15; children under 4 years old have free admission to the event. ?

Weekend Round Up March 28, 2013
•

The Giving Tree Band at Hill Country Barbecue

March 29, 8:30 p.m. | Free | info@hillcountrywdc.com | Tel: (202) 556-2050 | Event Website

Visit Hill Country Barbecue Market in downtown D.C. to hear the Giving Tree Band. Doors open at 8:30 p.m., and the show begins at 9:30 p.m.. The event is open to all ages and is free to the public.

Address

410 Seventh St., NW

Fifth Annual Eggstravaganza

March 30, 10 a.m. | Member Children: $7 Nonmember Children: $10 Adult Chaperones: $5 | Tel: 202-298-6007 | Event Website

Join the Easter Bunny, as children of all ages enjoy an egg hunt (at 10:30 a.m.) and thrilling Egg Roll Contest (at 10:45 a.m.) down the grand south lawn. Other activities include decorating festive eggs and playing games from the past. Bring your camera. Self-guided tours of Tudor Place’s five-and-a-half acres of glorious gardens are also available. Bring your own basket, spoon, and one hard-boiled egg per child.

Address

Tudor Place, 1644 31st St., NW

41st Annual Messiah Sing-Along

March 31, 7:30 p.m. | FREE! | jrlewisoffice@aol.com | Tel: 703-524-2224 | Event Website

Join Clarendon United Methodist Church on Easter evening for a sing-along of Handel’s Messiah. Conducted by J. Reilly Lewis and features a full orchestra and soloists. This is a free event.

Address

606 North Irving St., Arlington, Va.

Tuesday Night Movies at the Library

April 2, 6 p.m. | FREE | Tel: 202-727-0232 | Event Website

Celebrate France with the library’s April Film Series, Bon Cinéma. The first selection is “Amélie” (R, 2001), which stars Audrey Tautou as a hopeless romantic who sets out on the adventure of her life. Enjoy the free screening on 6 p.m., Tuesday, April 2.

Address

Georgetown Neighborhood Library, 3260 R St., NW.

Parables, Poetry and Czardas

April 3, 7 p.m. | FREE | michele.giacalone@esteri.it | Tel: (202) 518-0998, ext.27 | Event Website

An eclectic mix of works that, as the title of the program suggests, will include the telling of stories through music, the conjuring up of poetic images through sound and the call to dance through infectious rhythms. Music by P. Maurice, C. Chaminade, L.A. Smith, V. Persichetti and P. Iturralde.

Address

Embassy of Italy, 3000 Whitehaven St., NW.

Dumbarton House’s Gala Auction- Metamo’rphosis I

April 4, 6 p.m. | 100.00 | Tel: (202) 337-2288 | Event Website

The Ladies of the Dumbarton House Board and International Club of D.C. cordially invite you for an evening of music, food and cocktails with live and silent auctions featuring the one-of-a-kind commissioned pieces currently on exhibition in the museum.

Business/cocktail attire suggested

Proceeds from the auctions will go toward Dumbarton House’s preservation efforts.

Address

Dumbarton House, 2715 Q St., NW.

Nyls & Kate: The Fork Advanced
•

In the May 8, 2013 issue, our In Country section featured Celebrating Equestrian Life which celebrated the equestrian lifestyle of Virgina. In continuing the celebration, meet Kate Samuels and her horse, Nyls du Terroir. Watch as they tackle the Advanced cross country course at The Fork Horse Trials in 2013, finishing clear with 8.4 time penalties to finish the class in 5th place.

Check out the video of Nyls and Kate riding the course. Kate is fitted with a helmet mounted camera that allows the viewer a great perspective the ride.

Nyls & Kate: The Fork Advanced from Kate Samuels on Vimeo.

Kate Samuels In 2009 had the honor of being named the Young Adult Intermediate Rider of the year, as well as being listed in the Developing Riders program for the past three years. Kate is currently seeking students in the Charlottesville, Virginia area, as well as pursuing both corporate and private sponsorship in her journey towards Olympic competition.

To learn more about KateSamuels and Nyls, visit www.katesamuels.com

An Evening at Ayrshire Farm
•

Ayrshire Farm opened its doors for a unique event Sept. 15 that offered guest the chance not only to enjoy a magnificent farm feast dinner but to see this spectacularly beautiful certified organic farm with its heritage breed animals.

Attendees enjoyed a meal that was both elegant and down home. It featured the best of Ayrshire Farm’s fresh products and local foods and enjoy local wine and beer, hay-wagon tours of the farm, live music and demonstrations by Ayrshire chefs and livestock managers shared their vision and dedication to certified organic, certified humane and sustainable farming practices. The meal included grilled peaches, field green, heirloom pecans with a honey-lavender vinaigrette.

There were hay-wagon rides, demonstrations at the Shire Horse Stable, cocktails and hors d’oeuvres, and a demonstration of “farm-to-table cooking” as well as music provided by Flint Hollow and Steve Hagadorn.

Ayrshire Farm, located in Upperville, Va., was the first Virginia farm to be certified both organic and humane. The farm produces a variety of meats and organic produce supplied to top regional restaurants, including its own Hunter’s Head Tavern, Home Farm Store and Ayrshire Farm Catering Company.

For more information, visit www.ayrshirefarm.com. [gallery ids="100981,131786,131780,131766,131775" nav="thumbs"]

Weekend Round Up August 8, 2013
• August 12, 2013

Terence Blanchard at Blues Alley Jazz

August 9th, 2013 at 08:00 PM | 40 | Event Website

Listen to Terence Blanchard, a Grammy winning trumpeter, play at the Blues Alley. Born in New Orleans, Blanchard is well known as a performer and musical composer for films, including several by Spike Lee. For Lee’s film Mo’ Better Blues Blanchard was musical arranger and a trumpet coach for actor Denzel Washington. Despite his interest and participation in film, television and theater, though, Blanchard regards himself first and foremost as a jazz musician.

Address

Blues Alley, 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW

Fathering of the Butterflies

August 10th, 2013 at 10:00 AM | Free | marcia@bendurepr.com | Tel: 703-777-3174 | Event Website

On Saturday, August 10 from 10 a.m. – noon, join Oatlands for the “Gathering of the Butterflies.” A family friendly celebration of the monarch butterfly, complete with a parade of winged children. All types of butterflies and fairies are invited to participate in the parade. The rain date is August 17th.

Address

Oatlands Historic House and Gardens; 20850 Oatlands Plantation Ln.; Leesburg, VA 20175

Family Programs at Lockhouse 25

August 10th, 2013 at 11:00 AM | curtis@canaltrust.org | Tel: 301-714-2233 | Event Website

Join C&O Canal staff and volunteers select weekends this summer as Lockhouse 25 (Edwards Ferry) is opened to the public for family exploration and activities. As part of the new C&O Canal Civic Engagement program, families will have the opportunity to participate in hands-on programs that will allow them to explore and learn about life on the C&O Canal in the 19th century and its unique place in the story of the struggle for freedom and equality in our nation. Activities will be for all ages!

Address

15400 Edwards Ferry Rd, Poolesville MD (continue to the end of Edwards Ferry Rd)

Go Go Symphony Concert

August 11th, 2013 at 05:00 PM | Free | erin.passmore.mos@gmail.com

Go Go Symphony is a classical orchestra playing party music over Washington, D.C.’s historic go go beat sound. The project is brainchild of local classical musician Liza Figueroa Kravinsky. Also performing will be Arlington’s Khalil Minor a jazz/hip hop guitarist, and Hans Daniels an eclectic and dubstep DJ from Atlanta.

The performance is free and open to the public, and will be held at the Church at Clarendon, 1210 North Highland Street, Arlington.

Address

Church at Clarendon, 1210 North Highland Street, Arlington.

Breakfast 50 Years in the Making

August 12th, 2013 at 08:00 AM | Tel: 202-333-9180 | Event Website

Clyde’s of Georgetown is marking its 50th birthday with a gratis breakfast in its Omelette Room. Then come back later for ’60s and ’70s menu items like London broil and a Brandy Alexander.

Address

Clyde’s of Georgetown; 3236 M St NW

Branch Out Happy Hours

August 13th, 2013 at 06:00 PM | Event Website](http://caseytrees.org/)

Enjoy the summer weather the best way- with a nice view and a cold drink in hand. All are welcome.
Hosted by Casey Trees.

Address

Satellite Room; 2047 9th Street NW

What?s Cooking, Neighbor? August 7, 2013
• August 8, 2013

Delicious food on the table assumes a supporting role to great wine in the glass, when the entertaining curtain rises at Jackie Quillen?s contemporary townhouse in Burleith. And for good reason. Quillen?s cultivated senses have served her well as a wine expert , smelling and tasting her way through a celebrated career, which spans more than four decades. As the founder of auction house Christie?s New York Wine Department, where she appraised rare wine collections, she is known as ?The Nose.?

?I like to say, keep the food simple and spend more time with your guests,? says Quillen, as she slowly stirs a saucepan of grits with one hand and flips simmering shrimp with the other. From start to finish, all cooking is completed in less than 20 minutes. We take our seats under a mature plum tree in the garden, near a small fountain. A chilled white wine is at the ready. Still, this oenophile is not ready for that initial taste.

?First, you must look at the color, smell deeply. It?s not about drinking,? she says, giving her glass a swirl. The terroir, or nuances of geography, geology and climate, come into play, into conversation. ?That?s how you get into a wine.? Only then does she allow that opening sip.

What wines is Quillen serving guests this summer? Corks will fly from two favorites: a white and rose (both available at Potomac Wines & Spirits, 3100 M St., NW). ? I love Alsatian whites, low in alcohol, just very refreshing. And Schlumberger Pinot Blanc (2011, $17.99) is lovely,? she says. ?Alsatians aren?t as popular as they should be. Perhaps, people are confused by the German-sounding names or expect them to be sweet. Few are.?

Whispering Angel (2012, $19.99), a rose from the Cotes de Provence, has a place at her table. ?It?s an affordable approximation of Domaine Ott Cotes de Provence, the Holy Grail of all Roses. It?s crisp and delicate, but nicely rounded without a hint of heaviness. A lovely color in the glass.?

But her best summer buy isn?t really a summer wine, but a great value Bordeaux, a Chateau Rousset-Caillau (2010, $15.99).

Steve Feldman, owner of Potomac Wines & Spirits, calls this French varietal ?The best Bordeaux, for the money, that we have stocked in 15 years.? Quillen plans to break into her case this fall and winter. ?But perhaps one warm summer evening when you are grilling lamb you might serve this Chateau just very slightly chilled,? she says. ?And sitting outside in the garden, it would be divine.?

Quillen?s current favorite restaurants: [Bistrot Lepic and Wine Bar](http://www.bistrotlepic.com/) and [Sea Catch](http://www.seacatchrestaurant.com/menu/dinner.cfm), both in Georgetown.

**Shrimp and Grits**

**Ingredients**
16 medium raw shrimp, shelled and deveined
2 cups low-sodium chicken broth
1/2 cup stone-ground grits
1/2 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese
1 tablespoon butter
Salt and fresh ground pepper, to taste
Parsley, optional garnish

**Directions:**
In a medium saucepan, bring chicken broth to a boil and slowly stir-in grits. Reduce heat to low, cover and cook, stirring frequently for 15 minutes. In a large skillet, melt butter over medium heat and add shrimp. Cook until shrimp turn pink. Off heat, add cheese to grits and stir until combined.

Spoon grits onto a luncheon plate, arrange shrimp on top and add garnish.

***What?s Cooking, Neighbor? visits with wine, food and entertaining professionals, who call the Georgetown area home.
Georgetowner dining columnist Walter Nicholls is the food critic for Arlington Magazine, a former staff writer for The Washington Post Food section and an East Village resident.***

Murphy?s Love: Advice on Intimacy and RelationshipsAugust 7, 2013
•

**Dear Stacy:**
***I hate my job. I have hated this job for years. I am at my breaking point. The hours, the bad attitude of my coworkers, the indifference of my supervisors ? I?ve pushed through this for years but now I?m over all of it. The only thing holding me back from quitting today is my wife and family. We live a very comfortable life due to my salary. I have looked for other jobs for months, but the only ones that would give me the same compensation are in my current field and would just be more of the same. I want to do something totally different ? more nature-based, more flexible hours. My wife is 100 percent against this kind of change and keeps telling me that it would be too hard because we would have to downsize our house/lifestyle and the kids would be pulled from their schools. I know she?s right that it would be a big life change, but I am so unhappy and it seems like she doesn?t care at all.***
***? Dead End Job in D.C.***

Dear Dead End:
This sounds really, really difficult. I am so sorry that you feel this way and that things seem so hopeless. Ok, the empathy part is over, so brace yourself for the tough love part of this response.

When someone says he has hated a job for years and adds the one thing holding him back is Wife and Family, that seems a little simplistic. Staying in a job that made you miserable and, perhaps, even clinically depressed, was your decision. People ? often men ? deny their feelings of sadness or inadequacy, pretending those feelings don?t exist in order to maintain a brave face throughout a really difficult time. The thing is, those feelings don?t just go away when you deny them. They metabolize in your body and become part of the way you interact with everyone, all the time. So for years, you actually have not ?pushed through? anything, but rather, stockpiled your frustration and anxiety about your difficult work situation and allowed it to poison the relationships around you.

Major life changes like moving houses and changing multiple kids? schools do not come without consequences. Asking Wife to do what you did ? ignore her feelings and keep a brave face ? will only result in more distance between you two. It?s not that you don?t get to have a new job and a new outlook. But when things are so dire that we think the ?new thing? (a.k.a. job) is the only cure, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment. The first step must be getting yourself healthy (Read: counseling, antidepressants, healthy lifestyle) and rebuilding your trust and connection with Wife (this is where you get to talk about how you feel she doesn?t care). You need her to be on your team and make the next decision together. She?s not going to go willingly ? she?s protecting her family and, accordingly, her defenses are strong and tall. The repair work starts with her.

***[Stacy Notaras Murphy](http//www.stacymurphyLPC.com) is a licensed professional counselor and certified Imago Relationship therapist practicing in Georgetown. This column is meant for entertainment only, and should not be considered a substitute for professional counseling. Send your confidential question to [stacy@georgetowner.com](mailto:stacy@georgetowner.com).***