Body & Soul

Georgetowner • November 10, 2015

Don’t start making your list just yet, because the answer is one word. And that magic word is: YOU.

It’s not going to be your therapist, your accountant, your attorney or even your friends. Yes, your posse, of course, is necessary to the process. But at the end of the day, it is little ol’ you that is going to get you through. Let me explain…

Your therapist can help you sort through the emotions; your accountant can tell you the bottom line; your attorney will draft the MSA; your friends will listen. But you hold the cards to the one thing that will propel you to the other side, and that, my friend, is attitude.

What I am about to say will cause the hair on some people’s neck to stand on end. But before the hate mail starts coming in, I ask that you take some time to digest what I am about to say.

Divorce is just another bump in life, albeit a big bump, but a bump nonetheless. People change jobs, move from house to house or city to city, first careers don’t work out, second ones are born. Divorce is no different. How we perceive it, and then react to that perception, is what makes it different.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not advocating divorce. I, myself, was married for 15 years before the plug was pulled. But when faced with this life-change, how you “see” it will make all the difference as to when the phoenix rises from the ashes.

Divorce can cause you to sit, fester and ruin your life OR it can jump-start it. Fact is, you got a divorce; you did not lose a limb or go blind. You can spend countless hours ruminating over something that is over, or you can look at all the doors divorce opens.

You have what hundreds of people every day get taken away from them, and that is the gift of life. Don’t squander it. Divorce has a way of making what you do and don’t want in your relationships, and in life, a lot clearer. Believe it or not, this time is a gift, so use it wisely. Don’t just live through this change, embrace it.

My son told me that we all live to learn. I disagree with him. Only the self-actualized people live to learn, and I invite you to become one of them. Use your divorce to raise you up, not push you down. Divorce robs us all. It robs our children, our sense of safety and security, our self-esteem, our finances, our trust, and our overall well-being.

So how much more will you allow it to rob you of?

We have one life, and none of us know how many chances we will get to course direct and live it the way we were intended to. So, ladies, put on your Katherine Hepburn glasses, and men, adjust those Top Gun Ray-Bans, and get out there and say, “Bring it on!”

Trained in Collaborative Divorce, Debbie Martinez is a certified Mindful Life Coach and Supreme Court Certified Family Mediator. Reach her at debbieatthepowerofdivorcecoach.com.

Stacy Notaras Murphy • October 26, 2015

Dear Stacy,

I have a crush on my boss. She is about my age and we have had chemistry from the start of my employment (professional office) three years ago. We both were in relationships at the time I started working, but now are both free and available. I want to ask her out, but I am worried about the outcome. While there are no overt policies against this in our work environment, of course I wonder what could happen if things don’t work out and we still have to work together. Then again, career-wise it makes sense for me to be looking for a new job elsewhere regardless. But then I wonder how long finding a new job will actually take.

You see my dilemma. I’m not normally a risk-taker, but for some reason, I just can’t stop thinking that we might be really good together. Should I put this out of my mind?

– Crushing

Dear Crushing:

Let’s start by acknowledging that you would likely get vastly different advice from a business coach or a career counselor. But as a pro-relationship person, I say: Go for it. If there’s no policy against it, why not give it a try? Every day I sit with people struggling to find connection and partnership in this city. I’m not going to tell you to search for it elsewhere when it might, in fact, be staring at you across the room during a staff meeting. You’re right, this would feel risky, but without some level of risk we never make ourselves available for the really good things in life.
All of this being said, however, please do proceed with caution. She’s The Boss, so that means she is in control of whether this gets any further than an invitation to dinner. Respect her decision. She may have good reasons for keeping her distance (e.g., there’s a secret policy against this or she’s been burned before or she’s planning to quit next week …).

Stacy Notaras Murphy is a licensed professional counselor in Georgetown. For information about the adjustment group for female college students she is co-leading this fall, visit stacymurphyLPC.com. This column is meant for entertainment only and should not be considered a substitute for professional counseling. Send your confidential question to stacymurphyLPC@gmail.com.

Josef Brandenburg •

Did you know that the average American gets sick two to four times per year? And we tend to stay sick for seven to 10 days. That’s an entire month spent feeling tired, achy and miserable.

The good news is that working out three days per week is one of the most powerful tools for prevention and a speedy recovery. The even better news is that the time you invest in your own fitness (156 hours or six and a half days) is much less than the time you’d spend being sick (960 hours or 40 days).
Why does it work? There are several theories.

One explanation is that the full, deep breathing helps to flush out your lungs so that pathogens don’t get too much time to set up camp. Another is that reasonable exercise helps to balance stress hormones such as cortisol. When cortisol is too high for too long, it suppresses immune function. A third is that exercise increases the proportion of what are called your regulatory T-cells. T-cells — a type of white blood cell — fight infection, and this increase makes your immune system better at keeping you well.

But here’s what not to do. In fitness right now, the fad is “harder and longer” — pushing until you collapse or can’t keep going. While hard work is important, there is too much of a good thing. Excessively intense or long workouts increase your risk of injury and suppress your immune system (because they stimulate excessive cortisol production). Keep your workouts under an hour, and leave something in the tank.

Should you work out when you’re sick? If your symptoms are above the neck, then, yes, you can work out. The workout will probably boost your immune function and suppress microbial growth. But remember to listen to your body and keep your intensity relative to your energy. And don’t forget to wash your hands! However, if you have below-the-neck symptoms — diarrhea, vomiting, fever, etc. — then hold off until they run their course.

A best-selling author and fitness expert, Josef Brandenburg owns True 180 Fitness in Georgetown. Information about his 14-Day Personal Training Experience may be found at true180.fitness.

Josef Brandenburg • September 17, 2015

Most people have an energy lull in the afternoon. This is an opportunity either to improve or to (unfortunately) reduce your health and fitness. Marketers try selling blended caramel coffee drinks that have two candy bars’ worth of sugar and energy shooters that are the nutritional equivalent of soda.

These high-sugar “solutions” will pep you up for the moment, but they will put you on a blood-sugar rollercoaster. Also, the long-term metabolic impact of these kinds of foods can lead to progressive exhaustion and weight gain.

Here are five healthy alternatives:

1. Get 10 minutes of sunlight. Get moving and help your internal clock remember that you should be awake right now.

2. Check your lunch. If you’re sleepy after lunch, then the content and/or the quantity of your lunch isn’t supporting you. Focus on veggies and healthy fat and protein and skip the starch and sugar.

3. Sprint the stairs. If you’re on the second floor, then run as fast as you can up to the fifth-floor restroom. Nothing saps your energy more than sitting on your butt. Intense exercise stimulates your body to release its own natural supply of stimulants, getting you back into high gear.

4. Caffeinate with caution. Moderate amounts of caffeine aren’t usually a problem — unless you drink a caffeinated beverage too late in the day and your sleep is disrupted. Most people have a cutoff for caffeine between 2 and 4 p.m. in order to sleep well.

5. Stay hydrated. People confuse thirst with “I need a nap” and “I’m hungry.” Staying adequately hydrated helps you feel great, maintain focus and lose weight. Super-cold water is also a nice jolt, similar to the stair sprints. Hot weather, air conditioning and lots of talking all dry you out. Keep a water bottle near you.
You can sum it all up as follows: Eat a better lunch. Move. Get sunlight. Hydrate and (maybe) caffeinate.

A best-selling author and fitness expert, Josef Brandenburg owns True 180 Fitness in Georgetown. Information about his 14-Day Personal Training Experience may be found at true180.fitness.

Stacy Notaras Murphy • August 19, 2015

Dear Stacy,

I am in my early 50s, a father to three sons and husband to a great wife. But I feel like I missed out on the chance to have the right career. I am a contractor, basically because I have never found a place I wanted to spend more than a six-month stint. I truly hate the work I do every day and can’t believe I’m this far into a career that I’ve never liked. I am so disappointed that I didn’t take more risks after college. I just fell into a field that never made me happy or excited about work. Whenever I talk about changing careers to something I might actually like (chef, psychologist, teacher), my wife freaks out because we are about to have our third kid in college. The thought of following my dream, even though I’m not even sure what that dream is, scares me to death, so instead I do nothing. Advice?

– Frozen

Dear Frozen:

Okay, let’s start by saying that, while you didn’t outright blame your wife for holding you back, I worry about how much of this you lay at her feet. Anyone facing three tuition bills would be concerned when her partner says he might become a novice food-truck proprietor. Her anxiety is not unreasonable, but if you label it the reason you can’t move forward, you are doing long-term damage to your marriage. Let’s turn the focus back to your role in all of this.

I work with a lot of college students and I know about the pressures to follow the trajectory set out when you pick a major at age 18. I also know that many people spend lots of time in offices like mine lamenting those youthful decisions, feeling powerless to change course. The conversation almost always leads back to a fear of embarrassment about having to “admit you made a mistake” about what career path to choose.

We have to change this narrative. Most of us have no idea what we really want to be when we are 18, because we have no idea who we are yet. We make decisions based on feedback from others (e.g., “You’re a good arguer? You should be a lawyer!”) rather than on any understanding of what it will really feel like to live that life. And that’s okay, as long as we allow people to change lanes later.

I was “a good writer,” so I became a journalist. Little did I know that phone interviews and solitary writing would feel like punishment to my overly extroverted self. When I changed course and went to grad school at age 28, I was one of the youngest people in my program. The people sitting around me were mostly in their 50s and 60s, taking a chance to find the meaningful work that circumstances or lack of self-knowledge kept them from for the first few decades of their working life. It wasn’t too late for them and it’s not too late for you.

Josef Brandenburg • August 17, 2015

For many, an invitation to a summer BBQ can feel like a choice between having fun and staying fit. Luckily, fun and fit are not mutually exclusive. Here are five ways to keep your hard-earned results without slimming down your social calendar.

1. Skip the sugar water. Juice, soda and sweet tea have more sugar than many desserts. Not only are the calories from sugar especially hard on your metabolism, but the fact that they’re liquid means they won’t make you feel full. Stick to unsweetened tea, soda water with lime or plain water.

2. Beware of the sides. At most BBQs, the side dishes will make or break your meal from a nutrition standpoint. Steer clear of the obvious: chips, mac and cheese, sweet “salads.” Instead, load your first plate with veggies and protein. You’ll soon feel full and you’ll keep feeling great.

3. Don’t show up empty-handed. A simple way to make sure the right side-dish options are on hand, while being a great guest, is to bring them with you. Find out what the host will be serving and see how you can honor your nutrition plan, your taste buds and the menu.

4. Pick your battles. One of the keys to having your cake and eating it too is deciding in advance when you’ll treat yourself and when you won’t. It’s much easier to say “no” to today’s mediocre casserole when you know you’ll be saying “yes” to next week’s amazing bread pudding. And by not waiting to decide, you’ll save your brain some decision fatigue.

5. Empty the tank. A session of strength or interval training (or one of each) before you decide to treat yourself will help your body metabolize the extra carbs. This is because “emptying the tank” of your muscles (glycogen stores) improves the function of hormones such as insulin. These hormones tell your body if it should send your food to your fat cells or somewhere else. You want the later.

A best-selling author and fitness expert, Josef Brandenburg owns True 180 Fitness in Georgetown. Information about his 14-Day Personal Training Experience may be found at true180.fitness.

Sallie Lewis •

Growing up, I never had a solid skincare routine. Simplicity has always been my mantra and I can count on one hand the number of products I use on my face. Starting around the age of 25, however, I noticed a faint web of fine lines and wrinkles setting in around my eyes and across my forehead. Worse still are the creases on my neck. Time has been turning while quietly altering the roadmap of my face. Now, I often wonder what I can be doing that will help my skin stay youthful longer. Enter: META therapy. I have to confess when I first heard about it I cringed. Needles? No thanks. However, after a little research, I became intrigued.

Medical and Esthetical Tissue Activating therapy is the latest technology in anti-aging and skin rejuvenation, stimulating the skin from the inside out to naturally develop collagen while producing elastin. Here’s how it works. Prior to the treatment, the face and neck is cleaned and a concentrated serum called a subjectable is applied, much like a cream would be. Then, a licensed aesthetician uses a small, digitized hand piece outfitted with eighteen tiny polycarbonate plastic needles to make micro-perforations through the skin’s basal cell layer at high speed. Because the head is flexible, it expertly follows unique contours, making precise perforations at a max of .5 mm in depth.

In the process, two things are happening. First, the perforations activate cell activity in the upper dermis, a hard to access area beneath the skin. This is the skin kicking into its natural defense system, and it goes to work producing collagen and elastin to repair itself from the perforations — it’s a 100 percent natural method of skin repair. Second, the applied subjectable and the active ingredients within it go to work, seeping through the perforations to further regenerate the cells beneath the skin’s surface.

“The subjectables reach the living skin cells directly, enabling the active ingredients to stimulate cell regeneration,” says Linda Hardiman, a META therapy specialist at the Georgetown Salon & Spa. Hardiman has a master aesthetician license and is the only aesthetician in D.C. currently performing META therapy. She was born and raised in England, which is where META therapy got its start. In 1994 she moved to Washington and worked at the Watergate Salon, before coming to Georgetown Salon & Spa.
“I was looking for a treatment that I could add to the spa, saw an article about this in a trade magazine and went from there,” she said, adding, “I was drawn to it because it scientifically made sense and many doctors were already doing it.”

There are many roads that people walk to reclaim the fresh, taut appearance of youth, ranging from invasive treatments like needle rollers to non-invasive treatments like chemical peels, and even medical treatments like face lifts. META therapy’s innovative approach to anti-aging makes it beneficial to a wide age range. One of Hardiman’s oldest clients is in her 80s — though the ideal age starts around 30. “Collagen loss has already started by then so, although the visible results may be few at that age, it will have a preventative quality,” she said.

On the morning of my appointment, I was rattled by anxiety. My mind flashed to thoughts of distressed skin and adverse reactions — the worst-case scenario. However, from the moment I walked into the Georgetown Salon & Spa, Hardiman’s passion and expertise soothed my trepidation. She explained to me that the skin serves as our shield, keeping harmful substances from getting in. The problem is that many dead cells live on the skin’s surface, and finding a way to penetrate through to the living cells can be difficult. META therapy makes doing that safe, strategic, and efficient.

The precision hand device looked to me like a glorified electric toothbrush, and it created a vibrating, tingling sensation as it moved. The only area where it felt intense was the forehead, where the skin blankets thinly over the bone. Overall, however, the process was painless.

Following the treatment, a cool restoring mask was used on my face and neck. This contained active ingredients like Tetrapeptide and Hexapeptide, which work through the perforations, soothing the skin while eliminating any redness.
A few days later, nothing drastic had occurred, but I did notice a few subtle changes. There was a slight glow I’d never seen before. My skin felt hydrated and plump, reinvigorated. The results of META therapy include these and others, from faded lines to enhanced circulation and reclaimed elasticity.

Hardiman suggests starting with a course of four weekly treatments, then one every two weeks for a total series of eight. The first treatment is $175, four treatments are $700, and eight treatments are $1,225. The process takes roughly an hour, which includes the treatment, the cooling mask plus a massage. Best yet, no anesthesia is required so you can conveniently return to your daily routine as a fresh, younger you.

Georgetown Salon & Spa is located at 2715 M Street NW. 202-333-8099. georgetownsalonspa.com

Josef Brandenburg •

This summer, D.C.-area residents have the opportunity to try something new and help raise $10,000 for the Africa Yoga Project. Down Dog Yoga is hosting a guest instructor from Nairobi, Walter Mugwe, and will donate the proceeds from some of its classes and workshops to the organization.

AYP “educates, empowers, elevates and employs youth from Africa using the transformational practice of yoga.” In other words, AYP finds young people in Africa who have a passion for yoga and provides training and jobs for them as yoga instructors.
Mugwe, who has been invited to teach classes at the Yoga Journal Conference, first met AYP co-founder Paige Ellison when he was 17 years old. He says, “Yoga changed my life, and opened up doors that I would never have imagined possible when I was a youth in the slums.” Today he supports himself and his family as an AYP yoga instructor.

Down Dog Yoga is donating the proceeds from its $5 Flow classes at the Clarendon location and all the proceeds from its Neo-Afro Yoga Beat Jam, Down Dog’s most popular and successful workshop. Recently held in Georgetown, the $40 Neo-Afro workshop will be at the Bethesda location on Aug. 8 from 8 to 10 p.m. For details and to register, visit downdogyoga.com.