Living

Georgetowner • January 6, 2014

Dear Stacy:
I am a 20-something woman living in D.C. with a great job, good friends and a nice place to live. I really love my life and wouldn’t change a thing about it. But as this month has approached, I have realized that I am really anxious about the holidays because I do not have anyone to bring as a date on New Year’s Eve. I made a resolution last year that I would be with a long-term boyfriend and that did not happen in 2013. Every time I think about the holidays, I see myself getting sad and worried and I know it’s all because of that idea of seeing myself at the party without a boyfriend. I know this sounds stupid, but it’s what is really happening and I don’t know what to do to make it better.
– Alone for the Holiday

Dear Holiday,
Ah, the dreaded New Year’s Resolution Regret. We’ve all been there, but many of us forget about last January’s failure, particularly as the next New Year approaches and we are suddenly convinced that this time will be different! I’m really sorry you are feeling this way and that our culture has conspired to create an event that seems to celebrate only the coupled, while also providing a handy shame-distribution exercise (aka the New Year’s resolution). The good news is that you already know that you have many positive things in your life. Rather than let our anxiety about what’s not happening ruin our holidays, we need to help our brains focus on the good and take gentle care of ourselves. The latter point is the most important – which leads me to my most specific, directive piece of advice:
Don’t go to the party.

The excellent, thoughtful brain that has allowed you to accept all the wonderful assets you named (job/friends/housing), that brain is telling you, well in advance, that it’s a bad idea to attend a New Year’s party where you know you will feel bad about yourself. So don’t go. That very important reason you just thought of? The one that makes it impossible for you not to go to the party? It’s not real. You don’t have to go. Seriously.

This doesn’t mean you have to pretend it’s just a regular Tuesday and head to bed early. Just please find a different way of celebrating. It sounds like an invitation to a party has made you dread the holidays and left your self-esteem in shambles. That’s a lot of power you are giving up. Take it back. You can do this by choosing to travel on Dec. 31, or gathering your single friends together for a wine tasting, or visiting a nursing home that night – the possibilities are endless. But the concept is the same. Focusing on what you don’t have will not make you feel better. Taking good care of yourself (your heart/mind/spirit) is the best thing you can do to launch a new year in your incredible life.

Stacy Notaras Murphy www.stacymurphyLPC.com is a licensed professional counselor and certified Imago Relationship therapist practicing in Georgetown. This column is meant for entertainment only and should not be considered a substitute for professional counseling. Send your confidential question to stacy@georgetowner.com.

Georgetowner •

Ah, Sugarloaf—what views as our cable car rises above the islands of Guanabara Bay! Sorry, wrong Sugarloaf. We’re not in Rio de Janeiro. We’re 10 miles outside Frederick, Md., on the border of Montgomery County.
Slightly shorter than the one in Brazil and much easier to get to, Maryland’s Sugarloaf Mountain presides over a scenic and historic landscape at the edge of the Blue Ridge.

Designated a National Natural Landmark in 1969, the quartzite monadnock is 1,282 feet high, some 800 feet higher than the surrounding farmland. A lookout point for Union and Confederate forces, it just missed becoming the Presidential retreat we know as Camp David.

Though “Camp Sugarloaf” admittedly lacks gravitas, it was the mountain’s owner, Gordon Strong, who persuaded FDR to look elsewhere (at nearby Catoctin Mountain, as it turned out).

Strong, who managed and inherited his father’s Chicago real estate holdings, earned law degrees from George Washington University (called Columbian University at the time) and worked as a patent attorney.

He started buying land on the mountain in 1903 and by the 1920s owned most of it. At Strong’s request, Frank Lloyd Wright designed an “automobile objective”—a sort of spiral, drive-up observation tower with a nightclub (or a planetarium, in a later version)—for the summit, but Strong finally decided to leave the ’Loaf alone.

He and his wife Louise founded Stronghold, the nonprofit that owns and maintains the mountain as a public park, in 1946, eight years before he died. Stronghold acquired more land and is working to restore the American chestnut to the park. The Strong Mansion, built in 1915, with patio and formal gardens, is rented out for weddings and banquets.
Admission is free to the park, which opens daily at 8 a.m. Hiking Sugarloaf Mountain is suitable for beginners and just challenging enough to interest those more experienced. Trails—satisfyingly uncrowded during the winter months—lead from the East View and West View parking areas.

At the base of the mountain, in the historic village of Comus (postal address: Dickerson), is Sugarloaf Mountain Vineyard, Montgomery County’s only vineyard-winery. Its fields are planted with the grape varieties of Bordeaux—Cabernet Franc, Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot, Malbec and Petit Verdot—and the white-wine grapes Chardonnay, Pinot Grigio and Viognier. The vineyard opened in 2006. It’s received several awards and was chosen “Best of 2013: Vineyard ” by the Washington Post Express
Sugarloaf Mountain wines may be purchased at many shops in Frederick and Montgomery Counties and in D.C. at the Whole Foods markets in Foggy Bottom, Georgetown and Tenleytown. Their newest white, Penelope, sells at the vineyard’s tasting room for $23.95 per bottle and $263.45 per case. The tasting room is open seven days a week from 12 to 6 p.m. and closed on Christmas and New Year’s Day.

The nearby Comus Inn restaurant was originally the c. 1862 home of farmer Robert Johnson in what was then Johnsonville. During the Antietam Campaign, Union troops fired artillery at the Confederate position on Sugarloaf Mountain from the farm. The present five-bay main house, the handsome result of expansions in the 1880s and around 1900, incorporates Johnson’s chestnut log dwelling.

The view of Sugarloaf that made it a good place to fire your artillery makes the Comus Inn a popular wedding venue. The inn was a 2013 Wedding Wire Bride’s Choice and a Best of Weddings 2013 pick in The Knot.

In December, the inn is open for lunch Thursday to Saturday and dinner Wednesday to Sunday. The dinner menu is sophisticated country American, featuring steak, duck, pork, catch of the day, scallops and crab cake entrees, with family sides of iron skillet Applewood bacon cornbread with sweet sorghum butter, cast-iron baked macaroni and cheese and smoked tomato and cheddar Virginia stone-ground grits.

A few miles away, in Adamstown, is Lilypons Water Gardens, a leading plant and water garden supplier. It began in the early 1900s with G. Leicester Thomas, Sr.’s fondness for goldfish and water lilies. His hobby became a business, Three Springs Fisheries, in 1917. Eight years later, he expanded to 250 acres. The business thrived over the years to the point where a new post office was needed to handle Thomas’ blooming mail-order business. In 1936, the new post office was dedicated to Metropolitan Opera star Lily Pons, who was present for the festivities.

Thomas’ great-granddaughter, Margaret Thomas Koogle, now heads tthe company, which describes itself online as “Serenity for Sale.” Through February, Lilypons is open weekdays from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. However, it is closed from Christmas to New Year’s Day. In March, it will be open seven days a week when many special events are planned.

Georgetowner • December 5, 2013

Dear Stacy:
There are a lot of great things in my life. I enjoy my work, and I have a great relationship with my husband. Our kids are young and keep us really busy, but we seem to be able to strike a work-life balance with some regularity. With so much going for me right now, I find myself really frustrated at the way I react to good news from friends. When they are struggling, I am the first one there with encouragement and assistance (babysitting, casseroles). I am great at swooping in to save the day. But when I hear about their latest achievements, I immediately feel jealous and resentful! Even when it’s something I would never want for myself, I jump right to feeling mad about their successes. I don’t know why I do that? I can usually talk myself out of those feelings, but I really wish I never had them in the first place. I am afraid that this means that underneath that I am just a bad person.
– Secret Bad Person

Dear Secret,
From where I am sitting, this actually isn’t a secret at all. You are admitting that you are actually a real live human being, and not a robot stuck on the “Cheery Disposition” setting. What you are describing is very common and truly not an indicator of a “bad person.” But you do raise an interesting existential question: What makes a good person?

The real answers on this may be found somewhere other than an advice column (I’m thinking a clergyperson or a family member might have more insights into your particular cultural history and experience). But since we’re talking about this, let’s remember that you have a pattern of doing really nice things for others. And even amid this tendency, you can label your family’s work/life balance as basically strong. These facts suggest that your outward actions reflect an inward sense of altruism and generosity – not “bad” characteristics at all.

What I would be curious about is why you are more comfortable helping others when they are down, as compared to helping them celebrate their successes. You acknowledge that this isn’t about wanting what your friends have, so it might be more about just wanting to be the winner. Were you a highly competitive kid? Did your family value you more when you were successful? This is a great opportunity – while Kids are still young – to get clear about the [subconscious] formula you [subconsciously] believe will bring you the most love from and connection with others. It’s important to know that code – whether you choose to recalculate it or leave it be – so that you can make conscious choices with Husband and Kids.

Stacy Notaras Murphy [www.stacymurphyLPC.com](HTTP://WWW.STACYMURPHYLPC.COM) is a licensed professional counselor and certified Imago Relationship therapist practicing in Georgetown. This column is meant for entertainment only, and should not be considered a substitute for professional counseling. Send your confidential question to stacy@georgetowner.com.

Georgetowner • November 22, 2013

MoMA has Magritte. The Jewish Museum, Chagall. Kandinsky is at the Neue Galerie and Gaultier is in Brooklyn. Christopher Wool is getting raves at the Guggenheim.
But this brief double-review talks about a small show at a large museum and a large show at a small museum, each worth a special trip.
Few Americans—other than Korean-Americans—have more than a cursory knowledge of Korean culture. When we think of Korean art, we tend to picture gray-green celadon pottery. “Silla: Korea’s Golden Kingdom,” at the Metropolitan Museum of Art through Feb. 23, opens a new and fascinating window.
And it’s a picture window. At the entrance to the exhibition, projected onto a wide curved screen, are alternating video views of Hwangnam Daechong, the grass-covered Great Tomb of Hwangnam in Gyeongju, a city in southeast Korea. Conjoined burial mounds (His and Hers), the Great Tomb is the largest in the kingdom’s former capital.
Silla endured for nearly a millennium, until A.D. 935, when it gave way to the Goryeo dynasty, for which the country is named.
Most of the objects on display were excavated from tombs and date from the fifth to the eighth century (Buddhism became the official religion in 527.). Made of stoneware, jade, gilt bronze, and gold, they have been restored as nearly as possible to their original brilliance.
The label text for “National Treasure 83,” a gilt bronze statue of a bodhisattva, probably Maitreya (Mireuk in Korean), notes the “extraordinary balance between his contemplative aura and the sense of energy captured by the drumming fingers of his left hand and the upturned toes of his right foot.” The smooth musculature of the figure’s bare upper body reminds one of the influence of Asian sculpture on Art Deco sculptors, such as Paul Manship.
There are several other national treasures in the exhibition, curated by the Met’s Soyoung Lee and Denise Leidy, including a crown with stylized, antler-like projections—and pieces of jade shaped like hooks or tiger’s teeth—and a belt with pendant ornaments. Stunning examples of craftsmanship in gold, they came from the north portion of the Great Tomb, in which the queen was interred.

Another section focuses on objects that reached Silla through trade, diplomacy, or war. An elaborate gold dagger and sheath, inlaid with garnet and glass using the technique known as cloisonné, originated in the Black Sea region or Central Asia.
After watching a four-minute animation about the construction of the Seokguram Grotto, a World Heritage Site, visitors proceed to a final, shadowy gallery in which sits a monumental cast-iron Buddha from the late eighth or early ninth century, similar to the one at the center of the Grotto.

Also currently at the Met: “Interwoven Globe: The Worldwide Textile Trade 1500-1800,” “Julia Margaret Cameron” and “Balthus: Cats and Girls.”

Though Jan. 19, the International Center of Photography is showing “Lewis Hine,” a major retrospective of the pioneering American photojournalist, who died at age 66 in 1940.

Exhibition curator Alison Nordstrom has filled most of ICP’s lower level with Hine’s pictures, on loan from Rochester’s George Eastman House (the collection was initially offered to MoMA, which turned it down). Many are classics:

• A young blond girl in filthy clothing in a North Carolina cotton mill, the rows of white bobbins and the floorboards themselves seeming to converge on her (1908);

• An Italian immigrant in full blouse and long skirt, like the drapery on a statue, carrying a bundle of garments on her head in New York’s tenement district (1910);

• A newspaper boy in D.C. (Danny Mercurio, 150 Scholes Alley), wearing a hat like a helmet and looking as if he’s about to spit tobacco at the photographer (1912);

• A bare-armed, coveralls-wearing construction worker in mid-air, his legs wrapped around a steel cable, high above Manhattan, the Hudson River, New Jersey, America (1931).

Raised in Wisconsin, Hine began to photograph while teaching at New York’s Ethical Culture School. Another Midwesterner, Paul Kellogg, hired him to take photographs for a comprehensive sociological study of Pittsburgh, published between 1908 and 1914. Editor of the progressive magazine, Charities and the Commons, later renamed The Survey (which launched a supplement called The Survey Graphic in 1921), Kellogg regularly commissioned Hine to illustrate social welfare stories, copies of which are on display.

Passing through the different sections of the exhibition—Ellis Island, child labor, the Pittsburgh Survey, worker portraits, photographs of African Americans, the American Red Cross Survey, the Empire State Building—one sees how Hine’s images inspired photographers now recognized as important artists: Walker Evans, Robert Frank, Diane Arbus and Richard Avedon, to name a few.

A single-gallery companion show, “The Future of America: Lewis Hine’s New Deal Photographs,” curated by Judith Gutman from ICP’s holdings, covers Hine’s last years.

Also currently at ICP: “Zoe Strauss: 10 Years” and “JFK November 22, 1963: A Bystander’s View of History.” [gallery ids="101549,149590" nav="thumbs"]

Georgetowner •

Have you been to New York City lately?

Reclaiming the nation’s tallest-building title for New York from Chicago, One World Trade Center now towers over the waterfall-bordered reflecting pools of the National September 11 Memorial.

Wall Street is un-Occupied and stumbling back. The subway is seawater-free.

On Jan. 1, Mayor Mike will step aside for Brother Bill, leaving New York the healthiest it’s been in. . . well, probably ever. Throngs are hiking the High Line, zipping around on blue Citibikes, and “smoking” personal vaporizers in pedestrian zones. But part of what makes New York New York—The Big Difficult, The City Where No One Can Sleep, The Urban Jugular—is that it remakes itself right before your eyes.

One of the changes in recent years has been the flourishing of boutique hotels, stylish and personalized pied-a-terres.

Here is a small sampling:
Hotel Americano (518 West 27th Street, between Tenth and Eleventh Avenues) opened in 2011 in the thick of Chelsea’s art galleries. the feel throughout is minimalist Euro-Latino: lots of glass, with expensive fabrics in white, black, and gray framed in steel and natural wood. The 56 rooms are designated “Uptown” or “Downtown” for their views. Although studio means tiny in New York, the hotel’s seven studios, one per floor, are the largest, most desirable rooms. All share the “urban ryokan” concept, with platform beds and decorative touches, inspired by those in traditional Japanese inns. The restaurant, the Americano, adjoins the lobby and opens onto a small patio. There is also a club-like basement bar. But the knockout is the rooftop grill: Piscine in summer (when the swimming pool is open) and Artico the rest of the year, when the pool is covered and hidden by long gray couches.

Across town, in what is now branded Flatiron or NoMad (for North of Madison Square), the 72-room Hotel Giraffe (365 Park Avenue South, at 26th Street) has a more casual, family-friendly elegance. As the hotel’s Jayla Langtry points out, “Boutique means different things to different people.” Most of the rooms are suites, perfect for families with children (or grandchildren) or friends traveling together. Many have “Juliet balconies,” which add to the sense of spaciousness. Guests come and go in the lobby, where a generous continental breakfast, espresso drinks and cookies all day, and evening wine and cheese are complimentary. Bread & Tulips, in a rustic basement space complete with imported pizza oven, offers hotel guests a 20-percent discount. There is also a seasonal rooftop garden and bar. Hotel Giraffe is one of four hotels in the Library Collection, named for the book-themed Library Hotel near Grand Central. All four appear in TripAdvisor’s ranking of the city’s top ten.

The Jade Hotel (52 West 13th St., between Fifth and Sixth Avenues), at the northern edge of Greenwich Village, makes a strong first impression. Just inside, one looks down a strikingly designed staircase that steeply descends to a sort of drawing room with marble mantelpiece and Oriental carpet. But the walls hold contemporary art, the speakers stream modern rock, and the molded ceiling panels are painted bright gold. The rooms—there are 113—continue this High Retro décor. Big patterns and bold colors surround a witty mix of furnishings from different eras (a black, rotary-dial telephone, for example). Back in the lobby, a narrow brick tunnel leads to the bar and farm-to-table restaurant, Grape & Vine, which hosts a wine hour from 4 p.m. to 6 p.m. on weekdays.

The newest of the three, the Jade Hotel, opened earlier this year on a block-long showcase of New York reinvention. Next door, in the last remaining townhouse, is the Off-Off-Broadway Thirteenth Street Repertory Company, founded in 1972, where an adaptation of Dickens’s “Christmas Carol” is playing Dec. 14 through 29. Across the street is a New School building (Parsons School of Design is down the block), Silk Day Spa, Tenri Cultural Institute, and a Biscuits & Bath Doggy Gym. [gallery ids="101548,149594,149598" nav="thumbs"]

Ari Post • November 21, 2013

Thanksgiving brings together everything we love about the fall season, from the rich food and arboreal hues, to the cinnamon-flecked chill of the air and the intimate solitude of its atmosphere. In one grand and cacophonous evening, it allows families and friends to come together to share their affection, swap stories, revel in the early sunset and test their gastronomic stamina.
Here on the East Coast, where this seminally American holiday was consecrated, the spirit of Thanksgiving is perhaps at its most consummate. To best appreciate the Thanksgiving spirit, it can be a nice change of pace to step outside the city and spend November’s final Thursday in the surrounding countryside. Whether searching for a quiet holiday escape, or rambling around with the whole family, there are a number of places just outside the city that offer the tranquility of the season in its quintessential form, as well as some traditional and brilliantly unique Thanksgiving dinners. Sitting down in a rustic dining room for a Thanksgiving meal prepared by an award winning chef can sure take the edge off cooking a fifteen pound bird in your home, and you will likely be privileged to some unique Thanksgiving culinary offerings you’d never have imagined.

Dining out for Thanksgiving is becoming increasingly popular (for good reason), and many inns, resorts and restaurants around the area have already filled up. Here is a list of some of The Georgetowner’s favorite Thanksgiving lunch, dinner and weekend getaway opportunities in the surrounding areas that still have some availability. But make your reservations quick, before they fill up!

THE BLACKTHORNE INN
UPPERVILLE, VA.
The Blackthorne Inn and Restaurant will offer a buffet style Thanksgiving meal, from noon to 4 p.m. on Thanksgiving day. The menu features roast butternut squash soup with toasted pecans and chives; organic turkey with root vegetable puree and a country ham stuffing; roast prime rib of angus beef with Yorkshire pudding and sautéed Brussels sprouts, with white baby carrots and peppercorn and rosemary jus; roast leg of lamp with baby turnips, celery root potato mash and mint peppercorn sauce; and grilled filet of Farrow Island Scottish salmon with grilled oyster mushrooms, creamed cippolini onions and beurre blanc. Deserts include a fresh fruit trifle with brandied custard and raspberry cream; pumpkin pie with fresh cream; and southern bourbon pecan pie.
Price: $55 per person, $27.50 for children 5 – 12 (4 and under eat free), plus beverage and gratuity.
For more information or to make a reservation visit www.Blackthorne-Inn.com, or call 540-592-3848

CLYDE’S WILLOW CREEK FARM
BROADLANDS, VA.
When Clyde’s Restaurant Group purchased a number of antique heavy timber buildings destined for demolition in the 1980s, Clyde’s Willow Creek Farm was not even a twinkle on the horizon. Today, Willow Creek is one of the Group’s most inviting and comfortable restaurants, warmly decorated with original artwork, sculpture, historic artifacts and an over-the-top collection of 18th-century horsedrawn
carriages—most strung from the ceilings
lined with solid timber struts. Their traditional
Thanksgiving menu will featured, feature a roast
turkey dinner with sausage-sage stuffing, mapleglazed
sweet potatoes; mashed potatoes; green
beans; cranberry sauce; and an assortment of
pies for dessert. Reservations are still available
for parties of 5 or fewer, both for earlier and later
reservations.
Price: $25.95 per person, $15.95 for children.
For more information visit www.Clydes.com/
Willow, or call 571-209-1200.

THE INN AT LITTLE WASHINGTON
WASHINGTON, VA.
No list of DC area Thanksgiving celebrations
would be complete without mention of the Inn at
Little Washington, where founder, proprietor and
head chef Patrick O’Connell has been writing
the book on pastoral luxury and seasonal cuisine
for a quarter century. The Thanksgiving feast at
the Inn includes a selection of holiday favorites,
as well as their full standard menu of unforgettable
seasonal offerings.

Their Thanksgiving menu includes organic
spruce-brined locally farm-raised turkeys,
with apple-sausage-pecan stuffing, corn pudding,
creamed peas and sweet potatoes, with a
cranberry-orange salsa. Desert includes warm
chocolate bread pudding and almond ice cream
perfumed with black truffle.
Price: $198 per person, plus beverages and
gratuity.
For more information or to make a reservation
visit www.TheInnAtLittleWashington.com,
or call 540-675-3800.

THE ROBERT MORRIS INN
OXFORD, MD.
This small gem on Maryland’s Eastern Shore
is the perfect waterfront setting for a traditional
Thanksgiving. The culinary team has put
together a traditional and creative menu for this
special occasion as an opportunity for regional
produce to shine. You could even decide to
spend the night at their Inn and take advantage
of their three-night Maryland Thanksgiving
extravaganza.

Their Thanksgiving menu starts with dishes
like spiced butternut squash soup with smoked
bacon and cinnamon whipped cream, and red
and yellow beets with crumbled goat cheese,
toasted walnuts and mixed greens. The main
event is free-range turkey and baked ham with
roasted potato, sage, onion and celery stuffing
and seasonal vegetables, with a cranberry,
orange and ginger relish. There are also alternative
main courses, such as oyster pot pie, salmon
on creamed sweet onions with kale, pancetta
and baby potatoes, and beef tenderloin with a
Burgundy-truffle sauce. Desert includes apple
and blackberry crumble with chantilly cream and
pecan pie with bourbon ice-cream.
Price: $58 per person, plus beverages and
gratuity.
For more information or to make a reservation
visit www.RobertMorrisInn.com, or call 410-
226-5111.

KESWICK HALL
KESWICK, VA.
Keswick Hall is truly a luxury resort that
overwhelms the senses. Their magnificent and
secluded estate in the foothills of the Southwest
Mountains outside of Charlottesville will take
your breath away—never mind the fact that
Condé Nast rated them the number-one small
resort in the country.
At Fossett’s, the resort’s award-winning restaurant,
executive chef Aaron Cross will present
a four-course Thanksgiving tasting menu, featuring
selections such as slow roasted turkey with
cornbread oyster dressing, brown giblet gravy
and cranberry compote; petite beef tenderloin
with veal reduction and buttermilk mashed potatoes;
pan roasted Loch Duart salmon with caramelized
Brussels sprouts and cauliflower with
apple cider jus; mulled pumpkin cheesecake
with caramel ginger sauce; and bourbon chocolate
pecan pie with vanilla custard. Availability
for seating is very limited, so call quickly.
Price: $89 per person, plus beverages and
gratuity.
For more information or to make a reservation
visit www.Keswick.com, or call 434-979-3440.

Georgetowner •

DEAR STACY:
My live-in boyfriend of two years and I have been having trouble for about six months. We argue a lot and say mean things to each other. At the root of this is the fact that we have very different ideas about what a good relationship is supposed to look like. My friends keep telling me to get counseling, but I worry that doing that means this relationship is definitely doomed. As you can see, I’m a pretty black-and-white thinker, and I don’t really want to spend the time and energy to have a professional confirm what I already know. Isn’t counseling for really messed up couples? If we need counseling before we even get engaged, doesn’t that mean this is the wrong relationship for me?
– Communication Crossroads

DEAR CROSSROADS,
This myth about counseling being only appropriate for “really messed up couples” absolutely needs to be discredited.
Listen to me: those couples are just like you, and started out right where you are – wondering if their problems really warranted the time and energy that it takes to work through. Many just ignored the piling frustrations until they poisoned the entire system with the deep resentment that makes counseling harder and exponentially less effective. Being in a relationship is hard work for everyone. It just is. That’s the truth. Stop tricking yourself into believing that your friends’ relationships are perfectly attuned, and that they will never have any disappointments because they have found exactly the right person and have made all the right decisions. They haven’t. There are many ways to approach the natural frustrations that occur when two people try to build a relationship/home/family together. Yes, some people (READ: a tiny fraction) are effortlessly able to communicate their needs, but most of us need help or else we learn to adapt in unhealthy ways – isolating, acting out, using passive aggression, etc. Another choice is taking the time to learn about Boyfriend’s unique communication needs, and to teach him about your own. A therapist knows how to do this and can get you there faster.

Let’s do a quick experiment. Let’s assume that you actually need counseling, but are unwilling to try it because you think it means the relationship is doomed. Isn’t the relationship doomed then anyway? Why not try something that actually could help? Let me appeal to your all-or-nothing thinking: there are more than a few of us who make a living helping couples work through these issues, it has to have a positive outcome for some or else we wouldn’t stay in business, right? Put down your defenses and try something that could help. Otherwise my advice is to just move out today, because a person who is unwilling to work on things now isn’t going to know how to show up for the relationship later. That’s not a muscle that we magically grow, it’s one that needs regular strength training so it’s ready when the lifting gets really heavy.

Stacy Notaras Murphy www.stacymurphyLPC.com is a licensed professional counselor and certified Imago Relationship therapist practicing in Georgetown. This column is meant for entertainment only and should not be considered a substitute for professional counseling. Send your confidential question to stacy@georgetowner.com.

Wally Greeves •

With his plantation Oak Hill so nearby on Route 15, it?s a cinch that if James Monroe were alive and well today he would be playing golf at Creighton Farms. Stately oaks, mature maples, wispy cedars, and rigid pines form the 900-acre landscape that this new golf club has been painted into. The small valley of golf you are confronted with after entering the security-manned gates is warmly welcoming and serenely unbusy. With a membership base of 120 members right now, the density ratio of Creighton Farms is 7.5 acres per person: plenty of room to pound little white balls over water, to trudge through sand, or to build 10,000-square-foot homes.

The course, designed by Jack Nicklaus, is home to the Creighton Farms Invitational Hosted by Jack Nicklaus, which has raised close to a million dollars for local charities. Nicklaus is currently building an 8,000-square-foot home behind the ninth green. The standard fare Nicklaus design sporting massively undulating and shelved greens may limit views from his own back deck.
Two weeks ago, the leaves were in their prime as I teed off on the first hole with a mentor friend of mine and a retiring local orthopedic surgeon who had recently joined the club. The feeling that we were three extremely lucky cows in a very small herd on large range followed us from the first tee to the last.

The rolling downhill fairway of the par four that begins the experience had me feeling somewhat confident until we got to the green. The greens at this golf course are hard. The undulations, sizes and speed of these greens render pin placement an almost moot point, but credit to the designer (and quietly disheartening to myself), I walked off each one of them thinking that they were fair. The second hole is a short par four with a deceptively finicky green shot along the banks of a small creek that immediately negates the perceived advantage of a 316-yard hole. Walking off this green is when the course description in my head went from fair to what I would now say should be written on the entrance marquee: ?Creighton Farms, Playably Hard.?

The ubiquitous sand traps on the ?short? number three par five hole are the villains that rob you of advantage next. The access to greens on this course is so limited by sand traps that it became difficult to decide where to park the golf cart for the shortest walk to the putting surface. The only time I really felt like I had been truly wronged was when my blind tee shot on hole number eight found some unknown final resting place at the other side of an incredibly thin fairway. The fact that the ?Turn Shack? used to be the clubhouse before the current 30,000-square-foot building was completed speaks volumes.

The back nine continued to impress, with the largely untouched natural hunt country outlining a superb layout. The view down the eleventh fairway was majestic, and somehow hypnotized me into going for the green in two. Indirectly, this failure may lead to me staying at the nearby Salamander Inn at some future time, as guest privileges there are one of the only ways to play this course without joining, and I need to take that shot again. It is the fish that got away. I was warned to stay below the signature green on number twelve, and once again realized I was not terminally unique as I watched my ball roll down the sloped green like a surfboard down a wave. I got stuck in quicksand on a fairway bunker of hole #14, and my golf club became the tool I needed to literally and figuratively, get out of the trap.

I very much enjoyed this round, and the company I played it with. The facilities are brandnew and want for nothing. Nine spacious and luxurious club rooms are available to members and guests for overnight stay. Planned amenities include resort pool, Har-Tru Tennis courts, and wellness center. In categories focusing on ?Best New Private Courses,? accolades for Creighton Farms can be found in Golf Digest, Golf Magazine and Golfweek. While there are no shortages of prestigious golf clubs available to consider joining in Washington, D.C., and the surrounding area, the expansive grounds, state of the art facilities, and top notch golf course design ensure that Creighton Farms will be a favorite of many.

Wandergolf will be a frequently appearing golf column in The Georgetowner that will be reporting on the golf interests of Washingtonians. If you have suggestions for columns or comments, please email them to wally@wandergolf.com

Marie Loiseau • November 18, 2013

Imagine a heating pad that can blast away fat in just 30 minutes. Sound too good to be true? Well, not only does the technology exist, but it’s right here in Washington, D.C. The newest non-invasive solution in body contouring, Vanquish, can be achieved at DC Derm Docs on L Street.

Marilyn Berzin, M.D., and Dale Isaacson, M.D., who run DC Derm Docs, held a special reception Nov. 6 to introduce this latest technology. They and their downtown office have been featured in Washingtonian Magazine, ABC7 News and more. Derm Docs is the first to offer Vanquish in the D.C. area.

“It is very exciting technology,” said Berzin, who, like Isaacson, has received Vanquish treatments.

Unlike other non-invasive fat reduction methods, Vanquish produces immediate results. Liz, a patient at DC Derm Docs, was pleased with her post-Vanquish body. “I saw results right away, but they weren’t dramatic,” she said. “The results were more dramatic with each additional treatment,” she added.

Results will vary depending on the person. If patients undergo the recommended four treatments, spaced about a week apart, everyone should get results. “You’ll get at least an inch,” Isaacson said. “But I’ve seen an average of 2.5 to 3.5 inches lost in those receiving four treatments,” he added, referring to patients receiving Vanquish around the waist. Also, unlike other procedures, Vanquish can target the belly and love handle areas in a single half-hour session. Other common focus areas are back pockets and saddlebags.

Vanquish utilizes radio frequency to melt away a layer of fat cells, without even touching the patient’s body. Patients will not experience pain, but rather heat, redness and, perhaps, some swelling. The machine literally burns the fat cells, killing and leaving them to be excreted in the urine. For this reason, patients are told to drink plenty of water, at least two liters, in the day before, of and after treatment.

Liz talked to The Georgetowner, while undergoing her fourth Vanquish treatment: “It feels like a heating pad,” she said. “In my other treatments, I brought a book and came in before heading to the office,” she added.

The ideal Vanquish patient is someone who has a few stubborn inches to lose. If diet and exercise just aren’t working, or if there is an upcoming special occasion, maybe Vanquish is the answer.

DC Derm Docs charges $550 per session for the first four sessions and additional treatments are only $350. Shelling out $2,200 for a slimmer waist? Pain-free? Without diet and exercise? Somebody pinch me.
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Ari Post • November 7, 2013

On Monday, Sept. 30, the Georgetown Media Group hosted its third annual Chefs Go Fresh tour. Ever growing in popularity since its conception, Chefs Go Fresh has local chefs rev up for a motorcycle tour of local farms, artisans and food purveyors, sponsored by the Maryland Department of Agriculture and the Maryland Department of Natural Resources.

“I love connecting our city’s chefs with local ingredients,” says Georgetown Media Group publisher Sonya Bernhardt. “But at the root of this event is building and reinforcing community relationships, which is one of our most important responsibilities as a local news outlet—and one the aspects of the job I love most.”

To start the day on the right foot, chefs and other members of the Washington restaurant industry met up at Brasserie Beck Restaurant (1101 K St. NW) for breakfast, hosted by chef Robert Weidmaier, co-founder of the original “Chefs on Bikes” event, and owner of Marcel’s, Brasserie Beck, Brabo and Mussel Bar restaurants.

“I founded the original event, Chefs on Bikes, because I wanted to learn more about what was happening in regional farming and food production,” says Weidmaier. “Throughout the years, it’s turned into a mission to raise awareness of these small, local artisanal producers. Us chefs think we know a lot about what’s going on locally, but there are so many great producers in Maryland that don’t go around bragging about what they do. And so this is a chance to let local chefs and restaurants go right to the source, as opposed to the other way around. I’ve met some great farmers, vintners and cheese makers that now help supply my restaurants, that I never would have met without Chefs Go Fresh.”

The early morning smorgasbord included organic lamb hash with poached eggs, cayenne fried chicken with jalapeno-infused maple syrup and Nutella coffee cake, as well as classic favorites like quiche Lorraine, Belgian waffles, steak n’ eggs and a Bloody Mary bar (needless to say).

Along with Weidmair, the chefs and restaurateurs in attendance included KN Vinod and Surfy Rahman of Indique and Indique Heights, Thomas Elder of Härth, James Gee and Lydon Sacoff of Jaleo, Sean Wheaton of José Andrés’ Think Food Group, David Guas of Bayou Bakery, Peter Russo of Chef Geoff, Ris Lacoste of Ris, and Nick Cibel of Nick’s Riverside Grill.

Hopping on their bikes (with the bike-less in tow on a tour bus provided by Quick’s Bus Company), the chefs revved and roared down K Street, beyond the city limits, and down the winding country roads of Prince George’s County. The first stop was Miller Farms in Clinton, Md, run by John Miller, a fifth generation farmer who operates his 267-acre property with his son Brad. Family owned since 1840, Miller Farms grows an array of fresh fruits and vegetables, as well as operating an onsite bakery, nursery and farmer’s market. The perfect spot for a weekend drive (especially if you enjoy berry picking in the spring), Miller Farms is a great place to visit for wholesale produce, firewood, mulch, homemade baked goods and flowers. This time of year, bring your kids out for their corn maze and scenic hayride through pumpkin patches and a community of friendly scarecrows. (Visit www.MillersFarmClinton.com.)

Next on the tour was PA Bowen Farmstead, a farm dedicated to raising grass-fed livestock and producing fine artisan raw cheese. Located in Brandywine, their farm uses old-fashioned grazing techniques combined with modern technologies to help animal species work symbiotically with each other to heal and build their soil and produce high-quality foods that heal and nourish the body, without the use of antibiotics, pesticides or growth-enhancers.

Owners Geoffrey Morell and Sally Fallon Morell purchased the 95-acre farm in 2009, with the goal of creating an integrated farm that not only supplies high-quality, pasture-fed products, but will act as an engine for the economic revitalization of the whole region. On top of having an immaculately clean farm and some of the freshest looking meat and poultry anywhere in the region, their artisan cheeses have been winning awards throughout the country. Their blue cheese with Celtic sea salt is a must-have for any cheese plate in Washington. They even offer private cheese making and poultry processing classes for anyone with a deeper interest in learning more about where their food comes from. (Visit www.PABowenFarmstead.com)
The tour ended at Nick’s Riverside Grill at Georgetown Waterfront Park, where Nick Cibel served up a late lunch of Delmarva classics done right: Maryland blue crabs steamed with old bay, red potatoes and fresh corn, from Miller Farms, piled in mountains on top of butcher paper and eaten in true “family meal” fashion. It was served with pitchers of beer provided by Dixie Liquor, a taste of rum, courtesy of Atlantico rum producers, and a tasty Sauvignon Blanc provided by Oyster Bay. It was a gastronomic adventure that we won’t soon forget—and we look forward to doing it again next year. We extend a warm thank you to all who made this event so special. [gallery ids="101513,150944,150948,150952,150957,150962,150966,150971,150974,150979,150984,150988,150939,150935,150931,150888,150996,150893,150898,150903,150907,150910,150915,150919,150922,150927,150993" nav="thumbs"]