Living

Stacy Notaras Murphy • March 10, 2016

Dear Stacy,

I am starting to realize that I am not handling things in my relationship the way I used to. I have had a lot of life changes in the last month — I moved and started a new job with a significant commute that I’m not quite used to — and I haven’t been sleeping well either. My girlfriend is frustrated that we aren’t spending as much time together anymore and it feels overwhelming. I honestly feel stressed out and anxious most of the time. I even woke up at 3 a.m. multiple times this week with my heart racing and was unable to go back to sleep. I wonder if it’s time to just take a break from my relationship with my girlfriend (we’ve been dating six months, in case that’s important) so I can focus on my new job. Should I stop spending so much time with my friends? I just don’t know what to do next. I am having trouble making decisions for the first time in my life.

— Adjustment Problems

Dear Adjustment:

I can see why you would be struggling. You have come across more than one of the mental health community’s “big ticket stressors” in the last few months. Moving and starting a new job (not to mention the frustration of commuting) are incredibly challenging experiences, even when they represent welcome changes. Please be gentle with yourself. You are reacting as many of us would in your shoes.

But let’s not go about making big relationship decisions amid such circumstances. We need to triage this situation. Prioritize the most pressing issues and work them out first. My pick? Sleep. This is the most important issue to get under control before you start slashing and burning your relationships. Make this your first goal and do everything you can to protect your sleep.

Start by asking yourself if you are practicing good “sleep hygiene.” Are you setting a time to stop working each night? Putting screens away an hour before bedtime? Avoiding caffeine and sugar late in the day? All of these habits contribute to sleep disturbance. If you wake up early and cannot fall back asleep after a reasonable amount of time, get up — but do not start doing work. Instead, try to exercise and set yourself up for a better night of sleep the next night.

Once you are sleeping better, I imagine you might see some of the other stressors in a different light. Your having trouble making decisions could truly be sleep-related, so please give getting good rest precedence before taking drastic measures to try to feel better.

Stacy Notaras Murphy is a licensed professional counselor in Georgetown. Visit her on the web at stacymurphyLPC.com. This column is meant for entertainment only and should not be considered a substitute for professional counseling. Send your confidential question to stacymurphyLPC@gmail.com.

Georgetowner • February 24, 2016

Losing weight is one of the classic New Year’s resolutions, and eating better is an essential component of success. Food labels can be booby traps for dieters because they contain misleading information. Here are three of the most common pitfalls to step over.

1. Gluten-free. Even people with little or no nutrition education know that cookies aren’t very good for you. Made of refined starch and sugar and fat, they’re very calorie-dense. They’re also hyper-palatable, which means that it’s really hard to stop eating them. Everybody knows this. Food marketers, however, know that slapping “gluten-free” on a box of cookies is a way to bypass our common sense.

Gluten is a protein found in wheat (and in a few other grains) that helps gives bread its unique texture. It’s only a problem if you have a sensitivity. Gluten-free cookies are the nutritional equivalents of regular cookies because they’re, well, cookies. With or without gluten, they’re made of refined starch and sugar and fat. Healthy foods like chicken, eggs and green beans are all naturally gluten-free, but they’re not healthy because they’re gluten-free.

2. Trans-fat free. Trans-fats (from hydrogenated vegetable oil) might be the worst ingredients in our food today. We’ve become increasingly aware of their dangers, and the FDA introduced trans-fat labeling requirements with one exception: If a food has less than half a gram of trans-fats per serving, it can be legally called “trans-fat free” on the packaging. What’s more, on the nutrition label the trans-fat content can be rounded down to zero. This means that you can take a product that is almost pure hydrogenated vegetable oil (the source of trans-fats) and make the serving size so small that you can call it “trans-fat free.”

The takeaways for you, the consumer, are (a) be suspicious of anything labeled “trans-fat free” and (b) read the ingredient list and look for hydrogenated or partially hydrogenated oil of any kind — so you can avoid it.

3. “All natural” or “no artificial anything®.” These terms have no real legal definition, meaning that you can put “all natural” on a highly processed food without violating any law. As for the term “no artificial anything®,” please notice the registered trademark symbol. What the ® means is that this term is the intellectual property of the food manufacturer; the company has the exclusive right to use it for marketing and branding purposes. It does not mean that the term has any legal meaning regarding the contents of the package. (It doesn’t.)

A best-selling author and fitness expert, Josef Brandenburg owns True 180 Fitness in Georgetown. Information about his 14-Day Personal Training Experience may be found at true180.fitness.

Josef Brandenburg • February 22, 2016

Celebrity bodies on the red carpet are a combination of fact and fiction. On the one hand, many of the celebrities use smart nutrition and exercise to stay in great shape. But nearly all of the images from the red carpet are also painstakingly created illusions.

UNREAL: Starvation and dehydration. To look amazing on the red carpet often involves days or weeks of starvation-level dieting and dehydration. Using herbs or prescription drugs to boost dehydration makes you look very lean and tight, but it is also very unhealthy.

REAL: Skip the treadmill. According to celebrity trainer Valerie Waters (she’s trained Jennifer Garner and many others), her clients are very busy — especially during a shoot — so they only have time to focus on a combination of strength and interval training.

UNREAL: Retouched photos. A-list celebrities have a retouch artist on staff to make sure that no photo of them is published un-touched. Rolls and cellulite, wrinkles and imperfections disappear; thigh gaps and muscle tone are added. This creates unrealistic standards of “fit and beautiful.”

REAL: Kettlebells. Hollywood has been a hotbed of kettlebell training for over a decade. Celebrities are drawn to it because it’s incredibly time-efficient, great for fat loss and very safe if you have good instruction on the fundamentals.

UNREAL: Makeup magicians. A highly skilled makeup artist is like a real-time retouch artist who works on your face and body. He or she can make a lizard look like a model. This creates fantastic expectations about aging (meaning, they’re a fantasy).

REAL: Don’t drink your calories. Avoiding calorie-dense beverages such as juice, soda, sweet coffee, etc., helps to cut your empty-calorie intake. This is an essential component of improving your health and keeping weight off over time.

UNREAL: Waist trainers. These items come with the promise that they will change the shape of your body when you’re not wearing them. Completely false! However, while on, these garments will change the shape of your body — especially your midsection and butt. But (or butt) this is an illusion. Dangerously similar to the corsets of the 1800s, these garments put excessive pressure on your ribs and organs, making it very difficult to breathe.

A best-selling author and fitness expert, Josef Brandenburg owns True 180 Fitness in Georgetown. Information about his 14-Day Personal Training Experience may be found at true180.fitness.
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Lexi Rodencal •

The word “treehouse” often conjures up images of sap sticking to one’s clothes, birds and bugs, and foundationally-questionable structures built by less-than-qualified dads. Your average adult would not dream of spending a weekend getaway holed up in a treehouse with their significant other — or would they?

The modern version is one of elegance and rustic nostalgia, offering adults a chance to reconnect with nature and revisit those age-old childhood dreams of having the coolest treehouse in the neighborhood. The recent surge of interest has sparked a new variant of the weekend getaway: luxurious, yet intimate, adults-only treehouses.

Treehouse getaways have been growing in popularity over the last few years, with particularly notable locations scattered across the United States, Canada and Sweden. These cabins in the sky offer different amenities and services, but feature the same basic premise — to act as a retreat and offer a nontraditional style of vacationing.

Just a stone’s throw away, in Meadows of Dan, Virginia, Primland offers a wide variety of eco-conscious retreats, including three different treehouses situated on the edge of the Blue Ridge Mountains and only a short drive from the main grounds of the resort and spa.

The aptly-named Barn Owl treehouse is situated high in the sturdy branches of an oak tree and offers stunning up-close views of the Roaring Creek Gorge and distant views of Pilot Mountain.

Built across two trees atop a mountain peak is the Cooper’s Hawk treehouse. It overlooks the Roaring Creek and the Dan River, and also has beautiful views of the Kibler Valley spread out underneath it.

The last of the Primland treehouse’s is the Golden Eagle treehouse, built in the branches of one of the oldest oak trees on the property and designed by respected French architecture firm La Cabane Perchée. The treehouse is situated along the edge of Primland’s Highland golf course and also has views of the Dan River.

While a tad unusual, Primland’s unique treehouses offers residents of the D.C. metro area a chance to escape the noise of the city and seek refuge in the comfort of nature. With nightly rates starting at $618, it might be wise to consider a treetop retreat for Valentine’s Day. After all, what could more romantic than a night lost in nature? [gallery ids="102236,129409" nav="thumbs"]

Josef Brandenburg • February 18, 2016

On Instagram or at your gym, you may have seen someone wearing what looks like a hazmat mask. These masks — altitude training masks — aren’t worn to combat poor air quality. Instead, they promise to simulate training at high altitudes (where the air is thin) to boost athletic performance.

Let’s look at fact vs. fiction.

“The mask simulates training at high altitudes.” Fiction. The mask can’t simulate training at high altitudes because it can’t change the percentage of oxygen available in the air you are breathing. The changes that take place when you live at a high altitude are primarily due to the low oxygen level.

“The mask makes it hard to breathe.” Fact. Wearing one reminds me of the asthma attacks I had as a child. Making inhaling more difficult causes your body to rely more on your neck and shoulder muscles to assist with breathing. This can lead to headaches and to neck and shoulder pain.

“The mask will boost your performance.” Fiction. Performance boosts require months of living at a high altitude. Even if the masks could change the level of available oxygen, you would need to wear one 24 hours a day — not just when you work out — to benefit.

“The mask causes you to do less during a workout.” Fact. The mask reduces the intensity of a workout. Because the mask makes it so hard to breathe, it makes everything harder. For example, if you could normally do three sets of 15 pushups, then wearing the mask would limit you to only 10 to 12 pushups per set. Doing less work during your workouts will lead to less fitness and worse results over time.

A best-selling author and fitness expert, Josef Brandenburg owns True 180 Fitness in Georgetown. Information about his 14-Day Personal Training Experience may be found at true180.fitness.

Michelle Galler •

Between 1720 and 1820, more than 100,000 German-speaking people entered the port of Philadelphia seeking a life free from religious persecution. Most were peasants and small farmers, and they eventually moved from the city to the fertile soil of southeastern Pennsylvania. Later generations traveled further south into the Shenandoah Valley, Maryland, Virginia and the Carolinas.

Although agriculture was their major industry, as their society became more firmly rooted, farmer-craftsmen turned some of their energies to producing and decorating the many articles of daily life, including “fraktur” — illuminated documents recording family events. The name fraktur derives from the angular, fractured appearance of the familiar Gothic typeface used in deeds and official edicts in 16th-century Europe.

The fraktur artist held several positions within the Pennsylvania German community. As the representative of learning, he was often the schoolmaster as well as clergyman. With his skills in drawing and writing, he performed such services as illustrating books and hymnals and drawing up important documents. These sunny creations contrasted with much of the religious art of the time, since sin and pain were rarely depicted.

Pennsylvania Germans usually made fraktur for personal use, and instead of hanging fraktur in their homes, people most often rolled-up fraktur documents and tucked them away, pasted them underneath the lids of storage chests, or kept them neatly folded inside books and Bibles. The great care many Pennsylvania Germans took to preserve these documents is a touching reminder that fraktur commemorated important and personal life events.

Fraktur — especially birth and baptismal certificates — became very popular by the late 1700s. By 1780, various communities developed fraktur printing presses in order to create more fraktur works in a shorter amount of time. Many professional fraktur artists used these printed “blanks” to keep up with client demand. Artists continued to personalize each mass-produced document.

These printed forms were often sold by itinerants and at rural stores. A skilled calligrapher, perhaps the itinerant himself, would fill in the clients’ personal information and often hand-color or embellish the printed designs with borders and outlines of birds, flowers and other decorative flourishes. Although they are not strictly speaking “certificates,” since no one in authority signed them, they have been regarded as legal documents. Since law in the old country required such documents, the tradition was continued in America.

Fraktur are some of the earliest examples of folk art found in the Shenandoah Valley. Though most Shenandoah Valley fraktur artists did not sign their work, several did. Peter Benhart, a Rockingham County schoolteacher and mail carrier, was one of the most prolific. He worked from about 1796 to 1819 and rode from his home near Keezletown to Winchester every other Wednesday to begin his postal route. He arrived in Rockingham County by Friday and finished the route in Staunton on Saturday. Bernhart functioned as a post rider over this course for nearly thirty years, creating fraktur for clients along his route.

He nearly always included not only his name, but also the date of when he made the fraktur. Many of his paintings were created on pre-printed blanks produced for him by local printers. He would carry the forms with him on his routes, and when called upon to produce fraktur, he would fill in the blanks with the pertinent information, then embellish the document with by painting around the borders. Although his paintings were often crudely executed, including poor spelling, his creations showed a unique style with amusing designs and bright colors.

Another Valley fraktur artist, who has only been identified as simply the Stony Creek Artist, produced works in German and English. Often, his paintings depicted cherubs, drawn-back curtains and hearts.

These Valley fraktur artists provide an important key to the important families of the Shenandoah Valley during the 18th and 19th centuries.

Traditional fraktur designs of the 19th century feature pomegranates, angels, trees, flowers and birds. The intricacy of design, selection of color and particular historical relevance to a family or place are factors that affect the current price of a painting. Prices of fraktur done by preeminent artists have soared into the $10,000 to $50,000 range. Although a piece by Peter Bernhart recently sold at auction for $15,500, against its estimate of $8,000-$12,000, some beautifully rendered examples by lesser-known artists can still be found for under $1,000.

Michelle Galler is an antiques dealer, design consultant and realtor based in Georgetown. Her shop is in Rare Finds, in Washington, Virginia. Contact her at antiques.and.whimsies@gmail.com.

Stacy Notaras Murphy •

*Dear Stacy,
I have been in a relationship for six months after a long time without a relationship. I am thrilled to have a boyfriend and am loving getting to spend holidays and weekends together. I am so excited to plan things for just the two of us. The problem? I recently discovered that he “borrowed” my credit card without asking. He has been struggling with money lately, and I know it’s stressful to him that I am always paying for our dates and such. I understand why it was hard for him to ask me for money — but my friends are saying he “stole” it from me. He apologized and said he won’t do it again, but I wonder if he’s actually done it before (I’m not too careful about reading my credit card statements and only discovered this by accident). I don’t know what to do. Is this the red flag my friends say it is? I am in love with him, so this is not an easy position for me.
— Loving a Thief?*

Dear Loving,

Before jumping to conclusions, we need to know what we are dealing with on this. Clear vision is required, or you could either regret it later or always find yourself wondering. Go through your credit card statements to make sure what we have here is a one-time indiscretion and not a pattern of behavior. If you find that Boyfriend’s use of your card went beyond the incident you discovered, then we have both a thief and a liar — a bad, and perhaps irredeemable, combo. But if it was, indeed, a single episode, we can use it as a learning experience for you both. But you have to use it. Don’t ignore it. Please.

When I say “learning experience,” remember that a relationship requires us to learn and stretch and grow. When relationships don’t demand that of us, we are stagnant and wither away. So take heart! This is an opportunity for you and Boyfriend to stretch and grow your relationship. I know that may not sound as exciting to you as it does to me, but bear with me.

Use this as a chance to really talk about what honesty means to you, what money means to you, what debt means to you, etc. Try your best not to just sweep this incident under the rug. (If you already have done that, pull the rug up and talk about it.) Use it as an opening to a conversation about expectations and security — a conversation that all long-term relationships require.

*Stacy Notaras Murphy is a licensed professional counselor in Georgetown. Visit her on the web at stacymurphyLPC.com. This column is meant for entertainment only and should not be considered a substitute for professional counseling. Send your confidential question to stacymurphyLPC@gmail.com*

Georgetowner •

In spite of its hectic pace, the holiday season can sometimes bring out a town’s sense of place. In Virginia, the season lights up a number of towns that are central to the state’s identity: steeped in history while keeping up with the times.

That’s especially true for three Virginia towns. Alexandria, across the bridge on the way to Mount Vernon, is something of a sister village to Georgetown. Middleburg, farther out in the country, celebrates the holiday season in high style. A frontier town bustling with an emerging nation’s energy, the place we call Little Washington was laid out by its namesake, a surveyor at the time.

Here’s a quick look at what’s coming up in these three historic communities.

Alexandria is a classic example of a town that’s gone to great lengths to maintain its aura, while at the same time managing to seem modern, even a little (or a lot) chic. The town — with its charming side streets, a skyline of steeples and a street energy tempered by the centuries — abuts the mighty Potomac River, which leads right up to Mount Vernon, decorated for Christmas. Visitors to the iconic estate will find a gingerbread Mount Vernon, 18th-century dancing, dinners by candlelight and no less a personage than Aladdin, George Washington’s Christmas camel. Holiday events continue through Jan. 6.

This weekend, Dec. 4 and 5, is Alexandria’s holiday weekend, including the Scottish Walk, a celebration hosted by the Campagna Center, when hundreds of members of Scottish clans gather in kilts. The bagpipes come out for the Scottish Walk Parade, Saturday, Dec. 5, at 11 a.m. in Old Town. The annual Parade of Lights will be held at 5:30 p.m.

The Alexandria Holiday Market at John Carlyle Square features shopping for arts and crafts items, entertainment and traditional European food, sweets, wine and beer. There’s also a shop that holds the spirit of Christmas the whole year round: The Christmas Attic at 125 Union St., which has a newly added gift shop.
Candlelight tours will be held at Mount Vernon, as well as at Gunston Hall and Woodlawn Plantation, where the proceedings proceed under the theme of “History and Chocolate.”

Friday through Sunday, December 4, 5 and 6, are big days in Middleburg, the bright starry town of horse country. Friday is a kind of Christmas prelude, with the Middleburg Club Christmas Greens Sale and Bazaar from 2 to 5 p.m., the tree-lighting ceremony and carols at 5 p.m. and a holiday recital at Salamander Resort and Spa.
Saturday is parade day in Middleburg, beginning with breakfast with Santa and a silent auction, followed by a craft fair at the Middleburg Community Center, hot chocolate at the Middleburg Methodist Church, the unique-to-Middleburg Hunt and Hounds Review at 11 a.m., hayrides, a Middleburg United Methodist Church Soup and Ham Biscuit Lunch and a Christmas in Middleburg Concert.

At 2 p.m., it’s the annual Christmas Parade, with floats, displays, animals and all things Christmas headed down Main Street. From 3 to 6 p.m., food, wine, ciders and distilled spirits will be displayed from one end of town to the other. Wrapping up the weekend, a Christmas Pageant with live animals will be presented on Sunday at 2 p.m. at the Foxcroft School.

Washington, nicknamed Little Washington, started out as trading post. It was officially established as a town in 1797, with a population of 200 (and growing). By 1835, its paper, the Gazetteer, noted that the town contained 55 dwellings, four stores, two taverns, one house of worship, one academy, 27 shops and two large flour mills.

Decked out for the holidays, the town — home of the famed Inn at Little Washington — will hold its annual Christmas in Little Washington celebration Sunday, Dec. 6. This will include an artisans market and a holiday parade, with the Old Guard Fife and Drum Corps leading a procession of animals, floats, performers and celebrities, including Santa and local dignitaries. There will also be a Santa’s Workshop.